dating rule breaker

Breaking rules like the dating badass I am.

Previous Post | Yes, I’m a rule breaker sometimes, even when the rules are my own. But this time, it paid off.

We had planned to go out – I wanted to take him to a great river walk a few minutes from my house. If we were getting along, I knew we would have dinner. And we’d already talked about our views on first date sex.

He was running a little behind and I was so nervous I started pacing. I was so hoping it was good in person because it had been lovely talking to him on the phone.

I’d wondered if he’d show up empty handed like so many men before him.  Continue reading

Coming back to life.

There’s been enough drama with Leo that I haven’t written about my injury and recovery lately.

The combination of a broken bone and extensive ligament damage means it’s been a long haul. Over two months in a non weight-bearing cast, then a month in a walking boot. I have a plate and several screws in my leg and I have a beautiful 5″ scar on the outside of my ankle.

I still walk with pain and with a limp, and because of that limp I have pain in my tailbone, which fucking sucks. My ankle and foot remain swollen and it could be the same for many more months. I’ve just been diagnosed with needing two months of physiotherapy, 3-5 times a week. How I’m going to find time for that I have no idea. Continue reading

Coming up for air with Christmas cock

My head is finally starting to clear.

It was three weeks ago tomorrow when I broke my leg, and I’ve left my house only twice since. Once to go to a holiday concert at my son’s school (the day after I came home from the hospital; still not sure how I managed), and once to go to my Mom’s for Christmas eve and morning.

It feels like a blur. I can hardly believe it’s been three weeks; it seems like a long weekend. But the hospital stay, after-effects of surgery, taking Oxycontin as a painkiller, and the monotony of laying on my couch every single day and watching TV or movies probably have something to do with that.

Continue reading

Getting back on the Tony ride | When the show comes to my town.

Thank you for your patience while I dealt with the end of Fox and was sidetracked briefly by Shenanigans.

Back to Tony, figuratively and for the moment, kinda literally.

A few weeks ago, on the day I was set to leave on my vacation, I received a text message out of the blue from Tony. It was a picture from a local sporting event and a reference to a page number from a newspaper. No “Hey Ann”. Just the pic and the page number.

My immediate thought was – well that’s awkward; must be a mistake. I texted Hy and she sagely commented that after over two months, I wasn’t going to be high up on his text history. She said with certainty it was no mistake.

So I just said “hey Tony…was that text meant for me?” Continue reading

Left to my own post-coital devices, I contact Tony (2)

[Part One]

Sorry about the cliffhanger…I had to sleep and decided to just post what I’d written instead of waiting.


In a comment on Part One, Dawn asked whether I was experiencing sub-drop. Certainly the feeling of fantastic sex then being alone is never good. In this case, the let-down was both emotional and physical.

I was unsettled at Lewis’s blatant disregard for my question about when I’d see him next. I was bothered he neglected to use a condom at one point. When I told him he was hurting me that morning (my cervix was fine the night before but was protesting at morning), he said “you’re going to take it all” and didn’t stop a thing. Disrespectful more than anything else.

None of that stuff felt good. Continue reading

My definition of a serious relationship

Never before have I been able to define so clearly what kind of relationship I want – and how I differentiate between a relationship and a “serious” relationship. Probably worth saying up front: the latter I only want with the right guy.

I had this brainwave because I wasn’t getting it with my ex-boyfriend Tony, and I recognized there was a next level I was ready to move to, and he wasn’t.

I still remember Shenanigan’s definition of serious which was “go to art galleries together”. What a dope. My definition is a little different.

Let’s say you are dating someone, and you spend regular time together each week or every other week, depending on your child care arrangement. You may go out for dinners, see movies, spend the night with each other and go for breakfast the next morning. You may have already had the “let’s only have sex with each other” conversation. Perhaps you’ve gone away for a night or two together. Continue reading

Summer to-do list update | Week 1 Update (June 18)

I’m going to update this weekly to help keep myself on track. Knowing I have to report back is helping me knock this stuff off the list. This is as of Thursday June 18.

Lose at least 10 lbs. My real goal is 18 but at the very least I want to fit into a particular suit and dress, and I know 2 lbs a week every week is not going to happen.

UMMM… | This one is going to be hard. The most difficult out of all of these to-do’s, actually. I did really well during the week last week for breakfasts and lunches, and didn’t have any alcohol. But this week I haven’t had Liam and have been out the last three nights. I’ve mostly made better food choices and not much to drink…so it’s getting there.

But ultimately the path is food and exercise. So with a total gym fail and no bike yet, I can’t really claim any progress. Continue reading

Perhaps I should just avoid all electronic communications.

I didn’t see Tony on Friday night as we had originally planned. His work went later than expected (he had given me advance warning of this) and didn’t finish until well after midnight.

My son was with my parents, away for the weekend. I was to join them on Saturday.

I chose to use my alone time to tackle some crap in the house, and to just be…alone. It hasn’t happened much lately, and sometimes I just need my space. While I appreciated the time alone, I’m frustrated with my every-two-week dating pattern with Tony. We are supposed to have a “real” date this Friday. And he might do a late night visit tomorrow night. I really really hope so. Continue reading

The best sex yet was with my kid downstairs.

Last week from Tuesday through Saturday I was away on a trip for work. It was an annual awards event for a few divisions in my company. It was great fun but exhausting.

I hadn’t seen Tony in almost two weeks (not since the debacle with my son in the middle of the night). I was three time zones away from home and up late partying most nights. My Mom had been staying overnight at my place while I was away. On Saturday, my plane was delayed and I didn’t get home until 9:45pm. I missed putting my son to bed, and I was disappointed about that.

My Mom and I chatted for a few minutes and she asked me if I was having company – and I said yes, Tony was coming over shortly. Continue reading

Yes, I've masturbated with a cucumber

Things I’ve literally f*cked myself with | Or why I should always travel with a cucumber

In the last several months I’ve gone on a few trips without any sex toys. Once because I rented a holiday property and it was going to be my Mom, son, and my friend Katharine and her kids, and it just seemed weird to pack a vibrator. Another time I was travelling just with my Mom and we were sharing a room. Recently I went to a family member’s house and the walls are super thin. Right now I’m on a trip with just my son. He’s little so we are sharing a room and again, just didn’t seem right.

I’ve subsequently learned that not having a toy is a big mistake. It leads to some pretty raunchy behaviour on my part.

I guess I should clarify that I need assistance to cum through masturbation. Not sure why but my own hands just don’t do it for me. Perhaps I could find a lover who could educate me. But until that happens and I’m (not) master of my own domain, I need a toy. Continue reading