A reader commented on a post recently that there were men in my life who were better for me than the Dog Trainer. I had to stop and think about who the heck those might be.
There hasn’t been much action on the “other guy” front lately but I suppose they are skulking around. Figured I would do a round up of those in the stable, but some have gotten loose.
The Comedian is in touch every few days. We had a nice lunch on a workday a month ago, which he initiated. I know he wants to see me again but he’s been rehearsing in a different city. Our schedules are not that compatible. But he’s not written off yet. I was hoping he would come to the house party (which I subsequently cancelled) but he was away. Turns out my much younger half-brother is a huge fan of his. He would have been smitten and I know it would have been good for the comedian’s ego.
The Lawyer is still around as well, somewhat. For a while we were texting pretty regularly. He would get frustrated because I wasn’t free when he was. Shortly after I’d met Andrew, the Lawyer and I made plans for him to come by one night after my son fell asleep. However his trial ended early and he wanted to come by at 6pm which obviously wasn’t a great time.
He went silent after that and I gave him his space. A few weeks ago I texted him to say hello and he said “crazy busy baby. Told ya. Sometimes I just don’t feel like answering or can’t. Muah. I’ll keep trying you when I’m free and ur never available. But will keep trying.”
Then he reached out to me last week. Told him I was sick. Then when I decided to not to to the gang bang night I texted him to say I was free, but that if he was no longer interested I understood. I did not expect the mini shit storm he unleashed:
“Dude. I messaged you. Enough with the drama. I’m in trial. Enough with the not interested stuff. Enough already.”
It went on from there. I stared at my phone and after the FetLife guy thinking I was too cynical the day before, it gave me pause. Perhaps I need to be even more careful about what I say. I wanted to give the Lawyer an easy out in case he had moved on. I figured he had. After all, it’s been a while.
I was trying to save myself from a bit of pain. But instead, it came across as drama.
I told him I was crystal clear and he wouldn’t hear that from me again. He said he would see whether it would work later that night; that he had a late conference meeting. Then we talked a little bit about his trial, which is lasting more than a month.
I didn’t hear from him until 11:30pm that night so it was just too late. I guess he is interested, just crazy busy. When my schedule frees up in December when Will is back and has our son, the Lawyer is away on vacation. Such is life.
Dan, I truly cannot figure out. Part of me thinks for sure he’s got a girlfriend, the other thinks he’s just a busy recluse. I admit to pursuing him a bit via text message. After we had our night together, I sent him a text every other day or so, then waited a week, then texted him again. Got a response, and then later he spontaneously phoned me. We had a fun chat and he told me he had found someone to fix my car but it would take a while before this guy was ready.
After that, he proactively texted me to see how I was feeling. But I was getting frustrated with the inconsistency. I said, point blank “Do you want to see me again and if so are you going to ask?”
Now. I KNOW that there is really only one answer to the question. It was dumb to ask. He said, simply, “of course”. I told him I was free on Friday, he said he would check his schedule, and as of now it’s radio silence.
He doesn’t strike me as someone who is a player with lots of women around. But he’s definitely not so into me he needs to talk to me every day!! So, like the others, it is what it is. I know the moment I figure he’s gone for good, I will get a text or a phone call. I suppose I should go ahead and find someone else to fix my car.
Finally, there is Hot Actor. Unlike Dan, I’m pretty sure he is navigating several women. Originally he was the one who gave me his number (again) and suggested we get together. Then I told him I got sick and our plans to see each other on a Saturday morning were foiled.
He texts me every morning and we chat briefly. He called me to talk one day that I was at home.
One morning he sent his “good morning” text. I responded, then he sent another “good morning” text. I said “you already said that :P” and his response was that he was talking and texting. Hmm. The thing that went through my mind was actually that he was probably sending his good morning texts to all the women in his phone.
Am I wrong? Too cynical? I suppose.
I told him I was free on Friday night and he said he didn’t know his schedule yet (this was in the same couple of hour period that I had the same conversation with the Cynic Hater).
I said I was free the next night (Tuesday). Tuesday morning we had this exchange:
- Him: Good morning! How much time do you have tonight?
- Me: I’m free at 5 ish and would want to be home by 10 so I can get a good sleep.
- Him: Ok. Let’s leave it to another night so you can regain your strength.
- Me: I am okay but why doesn’t that work – too early?
- Him: Just a little.
- Me: What would work for you?
- Him: We can leave it for another night when you have time. No worries.
- Me: Okay. I had a babysitter for tonight so didn’t want it to go to waste. But no problem. Can you let me know what might normally work for you so I know for next time?
My gut tells me he’s got others (which is fine, it’s not like I don’t), but then simultaneously I worry I’m being too cynical. I will just let him come to me at this point.
I would really like a date with a man on Friday night. I’m not sure I will be up for it since I have a big work event on Thursday, but COME ON. Why is this so difficult?
Worst case I could go to that swingers club, since a couple (!) has asked if I would be there on Friday. Hmm. I’ve always liked Unicorns, perhaps I should just be one (and if you don’t know that reference, I’m sorry).
There are two men I’m chatting with on FetLife who are good distractions, but neither are looking for anything more than a casual sexual relationship. However one seems to have many characteristics I’m looking for. We may meet for coffee or a drink after work one night. I’m absolutely NOT going to have a first meeting of any other sort.
I am also going solo to a work event next week. It’s hosted by one of my two bosses and has all of my peers in our division as well. It’s a great night at his house and followed by dinner at one of the top restaurants in the city. I asked a gay male friend from high school but he’s not free.
This is one of the first times I’ve really felt weird not having a date. Anyone interested?
And when I am allowed to reach out to Andrew again? It’s been approximately 10 days. Twice recently I have opened my BBM app and then closed it again. I suppose if I never reach out, he never will, and then I really do have my answer about how much he liked me. I don’t think that’s an answer I want to have.