dating Jack

Starting to settle in: dating Jack

The conversations with Jack are starting to meld together. It’s the problem when living my life outpaces my ability to write about it. I’m going to try to get caught up with this post with our dating status.

We had the kind of fourth date made necessary by single parentdom: a late night visit. It was a three-act play similar to the third date: a drink on my couch with lots of conversation, moving to my bedroom for some good sex, and then talking far too late into the wee hours of the morning.

This time, instead of waiting for me to suggest it, he asked to take me upstairs. I liked it.  Continue reading

after the first dinner date

After two dates: first, the excitement

After kissing him goodbye at my front door at the end of our epic first dinner date, I floated up the stairs and texted him to say thank you for the amazing night. I also gave him my real mobile number so we could get off the sluggish burner app.

He replied with a simple “good night, text you there tomorrow”. 

The next morning, the other man I’d agreed to meet from POF cancelled our date. He too is moving houses and he said while he wasn’t normally this flighty, he really needed more time to deal with the house and his children. It was fine by me, I was exhausted.

As promised, Jack texted. He asked how I slept then remembered I was supposed to be at brunch (I didn’t tell him who with) and I replied that it was blissfully cancelled and asked him how he was doing. He didn’t reply.  Continue reading

chemistry and sensual sex

A dinner date for my history book: Part 3

Previous Post 

It didn’t take long after sitting on my couch before we started kissing again. We’d had almost four hours of talking and there was no need for any more.

Luxuriating in a kiss is truly one of life’s great pleasures. There’s a time and place for moving quickly, but this wasn’t one of them. Jack and I had amazing kissing chemistry. I’m a responsive lover: I will often match someone’s pace and style, which is likely why I’m told I’m an great kisser. In this case, we were already well matched.

Jack was slow to take things further. This was not a five-minutes-of-kissing-then-shove-a-hand-down-my-pants experience. He took his time to explore.

Continue reading

when online dating brings you a good match

When the others fall away.

[Part 3 of our date is coming, but I wasn’t in the right head space yesterday to write it – Jack and I have had a slight communication hiccup (I’m sure that’s all it is) – and I knew it would affect my accurate depiction of the rest of our night together. So here’s a post I’d scheduled originally for tomorrow.]

:::

It’s the difference between “sure, this is okay” and “FUCK YES”. I haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time. I did about Kyle, but his unresponsiveness killed it.  He was a “fuck yes” for me, but I wasn’t for him. (And if you haven’t read the Mark Manson article on it, check it out here). Online dating sometimes serves up a great potential match.

When the intellectual and physical chemistry is truly there, all others fall away. And if they don’t, that person isn’t doing it for you.

I hid my POF profile on Sunday. I told the two men I was having conversations with that I was going offline because I’d met someone I wanted to focus on, but if I came back I would reach out. They both replied they appreciated the message and wished me luck. Continue reading

A dinner date for my history book: Part 2

Part One

We drove to the restaurant, talking about driving styles, swearing with our children in the car, and again it was just easy and seamless. The kind of conversation of people who have known each other forever…or who just “click”.

We parked near the restaurant. I didn’t wait for him to come open my door – it didn’t even occur to me. Unlike Fox, I was not scolded. Fox would get super irritated when I’d dare open my own door. I enjoy a gentleman but his rigidity was unattractive.

As Jack and I walked, I noted his shoulder seemed lower than mine, and I wondered whether I was actually taller than he. It didn’t matter – of course I’d like someone taller but it is not a deal breaker.  Continue reading

Intellectual, emotional, and physical chemistry

A dinner date for my history book.

I’m going to preface this post by saying I know 100% that there is no way to know if something is going to work out, after two dates. I know this right to my core.  I can quickly assess intellectual and physical chemistry, but the emotional / behavioral can kill a relationship.

I’ve sacrificed some intellectual and physical chemistry for the sake of strong emotional chemistry, and ultimately that doesn’t work. I’ve found incredible intellectual and physical, just to later experience an emotional mismatch.

But Jack has the potential for all three. I’m over the moon at the moment and am determined to enjoy it. Continue reading

The way he feels.

He greets me with my favorite flowers (peonies) and champagne. Flowers that no other man has placed in my hands. Real champagne. He smiles at my response, telling me I deserve them, enveloping me in the kind of hug that fills my body and heart.

As I fuss with the flowers at the sink he comes up behind me to brush the hair off the back of my neck and kiss me, first tenderly then with increasing pressure as he buries his mouth in that sensitive spot behind my left ear, I feel his hot breath, and he grabs a hipbone in each hand with a groan.

I can barely get the flowers in the vase. Continue reading

Kyle says sorry not sorry.

Previous Post

As I wrapped up my blog post, my phone pinged with Kyle’s ring tone – he said “be there in 10 minutes”. Geez, really?

I decided to not change out of my pyjamas, I didn’t want to make any more effort.

He knocked on my door about 20 minutes later – 90 minutes after he was supposed to show up – and I said “hey sorry for being in my pyjamas but I figured you weren’t showing up when I didn’t hear from you.” Continue reading

Kyle needs to talk.

Previous Post

I’d had a lot of time over the last few months to try to figure out, without overanalyzing, what the fuck Kyle’s deal was. I didn’t doubt his interest in me – he had the intention to see me / date me – however in practice it completely fell down.

Bottom line, dating me was not a priority. I would have bet he wasn’t dating others, so I didn’t get the sense he had other women that came first. Of course, being the last wife in the harem holds no appeal to me. It was harder to accept that even if I was the only one he was interested in, his behavior was still uncool. Continue reading

The elusive creature named Kyle

I think this might be a record for slowest relationship start – scratch that, since I don’t know if this is the start of anything whatsoever. The magic 8 ball aka my Mother says yes but this has not been an auspicious start.

This is the longest it’s taken me to have four dates with anyone. I don’t count Jake since we stopped after the first.

Dates isn’t even a great term. The first meeting was a pre clearance date. Then a dinner date, then a spontaneous late night discussion on my couch, and most recently, another couch conversation in lieu of what was supposed to be a date.

Three months from our first contact.  Continue reading