back in the online dating shallow pool

I jumped back into the shallow end.

I think it’s been a year since I’ve been on an online dating site. I don’t count AFF because that was about something else.

But this weekend I decided I needed a distraction from Kyle. I also figured it wouldn’t hurt me to dip my toe in the water and see how it felt. I got tired of it quickly last time – surviving a couple of days on OKCupid and a few weeks on Bumble.

So I unhid my profile on Plenty of Fish. A site I’ve avoided for a while, but it’s where I met Shenanigans (still there!), Fox (not there; still dating the woman he met right after me), and Tony (better not be there!).  Continue reading

The aftermath of being f*cked over.

What a crazy shit show the past few weeks have been.

As angry as I am that Fox betrayed my trust and violated my privacy, for what turned out to be for most of our relationship, it’s alright, ultimately. I learned things about him that may otherwise have taken a long time to uncover.

I don’t regret anything I’ve written; but I do realize I’m sometimes punchy with my comments and sure, cavalier in moments. It wasn’t quite accurate to say he doesn’t interest me on any level, for example.

But I stand behind every single thing I’ve said and done. If I had the chance to do it all again, I would still not have told him everything about Tony. I didn’t cheat on Fox, and I didn’t want to tell him anything that would hurt him unnecessarily. If it was me, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to know that the person who came before me had the best chemistry ever with my boyfriend. No way.  Continue reading

Let’s wrap this sh*t up (a post about Fox. Again.)

So much to write about, but being over 40 it would seem that drinking way too much and not getting enough sleep does some serious damage. I’m still recovering from my wild Friday night.

But before we get to that, I want to write about Fox and where things are at. Yes, I will get to Tony and Shenanigans, but first things first.

As I said a few days ago, Fox and I spoke again earlier in the week. I reiterated that I needed actual space and time; meaning, I didn’t want to be in regular contact with him. He said he understood.  Continue reading

Tony met Shenanigans. Hy didn’t meet Fox.

Hy and I are side by side on my purple leather couch. We are both still exceedingly hungover from our previous evening. 

“I’m pretty sure this is what half-dead feels like”, she says.

I have a lot to say, but it’s not going to be right now. Here are some quick facts to tide you over:

Fox has decided again that he’s done. He didn’t meet Hy. We didn’t even make it to the farmers market.

I’ve seen Tony twice in the last two days.

Shenanigans met Tony, in my house. They shook hands. Tony brought us all lattes.

Shenanigans came over the night before, after Hy and I had been out partying. I was otherwise occupied, throwing up and passing out from too much red wine. 

So Shenanigans fell prey to the wonder of Hyacinth Jones. We think she started it, but the details are a little fuzzy. 

Hy and I shared a bed with both Tony and Shenanigans. Maybe at the same time.

We’ve now heard (and seen, in one case), the other having sex.

Lots of cheese and wine has been consumed.

It’s been a wild and fun weekend and we aren’t even done yet. 

Three old flames have been put in my path.

I’m not particularly fatalistic. I don’t believe the things that happen to me are all guided by some supreme being.

But there are times where I do wonder what the universe is trying to tell me.

This is one of those times. Continue reading

Shenanigans returns and curiosity gets the better of me.

Some of you may remember the man I call Shenanigans. You can start his story here if you haven’t read it before.

I sum him up on my lovers page thusly: 30 year-old super tall, super hot, great cock, great sex, total shenanigans trying to meet and communicate with him. Complete selfish asshole who made me question every time whether it was worth it. Our relationship ended with him texting me “blow me” in anger, not passion. But he keeps coming back for a chat.

The last time I saw him was in December 2014, right before I met Tony. It was the first time I’d seen him in 10 months; we had dinner and I let him cum on my face. (I find it funny that the post gets found regularly by people searching the internet for cumming on a woman’s face. Nice.)

I never spoke to him after that date, nor did I particularly care to. He texted me a few times in the past nine months but it rarely amounted to anything remotely interesting enough for this blog.

Until last week.

Continue reading

Sex club aftermath

It’s been a week since my sex club adventures. I don’t regret them for a minute: in contrast, I plan to go again.

Jason felt bad he didn’t engage more at the club. He told me later it was his first time. He also felt odd that I’d had an experience with Dale prior to him showing up. I tried my best to engage with Jason when he arrived, spent time with just him, to ensure he felt connected to me. But it didn’t work, obviously.

He asked me if I would be willing to “take another chance on him”. Yeah, of course! Continue reading

What the f*ck am I putting out into the universe? (Shenanigans)

I wrote the first part of this with tears drying on my face. Yes, I’m so very sad about Tony.

But this post isn’t about him.

Some of you may remember Shenanigans, the 30 year-old who has come in and out of my life since the fall of 2013. Start here if you want to start from the beginning.

The last time I saw him was in December right before I met Tony. It had been ten months since our last meeting. The December date was notable because I let him cum on my face (sidebar: that post is now one of my most popular, due to google searches).  Continue reading

A small thing which I find exceedingly annoying (Shenanigans)

Last night I was at a friend’s house – we had a playdate with our children including dinner and watching part of the Oscars.

We caught up on life, work, her dating updates, the delight of the beginning state of my relationship with Tony, and the insanity of Will’s potential job change. She kept asking (rhetorically) when Will’s mid-life crisis was going to end.

As we watched all the ridiculously beautiful and thin actresses on the red carpet, she mentioned that a few of my “former guys” had reached out to her on the dating sites. She occasionally checks in with me to see if I know the guys that are reaching out to her. Continue reading

Perhaps I should just avoid all electronic communications.

I didn’t see Tony on Friday night as we had originally planned. His work went later than expected (he had given me advance warning of this) and didn’t finish until well after midnight.

My son was with my parents, away for the weekend. I was to join them on Saturday.

I chose to use my alone time to tackle some crap in the house, and to just be…alone. It hasn’t happened much lately, and sometimes I just need my space. While I appreciated the time alone, I’m frustrated with my every-two-week dating pattern with Tony. We are supposed to have a “real” date this Friday. And he might do a late night visit tomorrow night. I really really hope so. Continue reading