I have no secrets now.

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Leo, you’re on Facebook but not other social media, why is that?”

“I’m not very active on Facebook, Ann. I figure those people who want to know about my life will pick up the phone.”

“Yeah, I get that. What do you think about people who share a lot online?”

“Well it all depends, I think it’s attention seeking sometimes which just isn’t me. Why do you ask?”

“Have you ever looked up my profile on Facebook?” Continue reading

Civility shouldn’t be rare. Or, why I almost cried twice in 24 hours.

I’m on a plane flying home from New York, where I’ve been the last several days. It was wonderful but I always look forward to getting home after too many nights in a hotel room. A breakfast of bacon, eggs, some toast and coffee should not cost $35 US.

I did not seek a debaucherous vacation, nor did debauchery find me anyway. As you know, sometimes it comes to you. I am however sporting four very large hickeys on the front of my neck, with no concealer to be found. But that’s not the reason I’m writing at the moment.

My level of patience and optimism with my dating life has been cyclical – right now I’m in a place where the lack of common decency shown by so many gets to me. It’s not just my experience, it’s those of my friends as well.  Continue reading

keep your identity private, bloggers

It’s sexy to keep yourself safe.

I’m hoping you can all learn from my fuck-ups. And no, I don’t mean the recent relationship that ended really badly. Well, not the relationship part.

As I’m spending a bunch of time deleting content and figuring out how to keep other content away from the wrong eyes, it occurred to me that I, Ann St. Vincent, could provide a list of “what not to do” to keep your blogging content away from some of the people in your life.

Some of this also applies to you as a reader. You’d probably be surprised to know what I can learn about you when you engage on a blog.

Some of it may be obvious, but I thought I was safe and I wasn’t. Here goes: Continue reading

Thank you, Molly.

If you don’t follow Molly Moore, you should. She’s a wonderful community builder and blogger who publishes daily and runs a number of memes and projects. And her photos are lovely.

For the last few years, she’s published an annual Top 20 sex bloggers list. It’s had what I consider to be true superstars of sex blogging and I’ve admired them all.

So I was surprised to find myself on the 2015 list two nights ago.

Completely. Fucking. Surprised. Continue reading

Meeting the Grey Knight

This post is long overdue; but my world post-trip turned into a Fox shit show and I got completely sidetracked.

Some of you may follow the Grey Knight; a male blogger profiling the many dates and sexual escapades he’s had on his post-split dating journey.

Given the relatively rare number of male non-fiction dating / sex bloggers, I found him shortly after starting my own blog, and have read all of his posts since.  Continue reading

Secrets and lies | When to bare it all

Since Friday night I’ve had the opportunity to think a lot about secrets and lies. Why we do what we do. How we parse the truth into such fine elements that we maintain the facade of truth. But it’s just that – a facade.

At the time, Tony told me he spent Valentine’s day evening with his friend Gina. It was a partial truth, and it’s how I was able to bring it up in our conversation this past weekend. But when I asked did he have sex with anyone else? Maybe not. Did he want to? Perhaps. Did he try but couldn’t? Quite possible, given the issues he was having with me at the same time. Did he have another woman sleep over?

I didn’t ask those questions. What would he have said to me if I had?

We rely on the specificity of a question and answer to tell ourselves and others we are truthful. Continue reading

Guest Post | Scorpio / Snake

This post is written by a real-life friend who reads this blog. She, like me, has come out of a long relationship and is exploring and rediscovering her sexuality. This post is about one of her recent dates; she is considered writing more and would appreciate any story and writing feedback you have.

Thank you and enjoy!


Her cheekbones could cut glass – I think that was my first thought as she crossed the street to where I leaned against the lamppost biting my lip. Her eyes were staring at me with an intensity that made me feel slightly uncomfortable but in a very, very, good way. Her stare and half smile – those lips – said that she was pleased with what she saw and as she opened the door for me, I thought to myself “Trouble”. Continue reading