I need to get caught up here, because I don’t want to keep taking writing shortcuts. There are things going on in my head which I need to unpack – and sometimes it takes a whole post to do so. But I can’t do that if I haven’t introduced the situations or characters.
I have closed my Bumble and Adult Friend Finder accounts. I’m not taking any new applicants for the time being. I met a couple of men from AFF, two who haven’t made it to the blog were good pre-clearance dates but nothing came of it. One went away for a week’s trip and I never heard from him upon his return. The other I told I wasn’t going to be able to make time for a second date any time soon. Continue reading →
I was a little torn on when to meet; the Friday we talked about, a family at my son’s school were having a fundraising party which is apparently a super fun time. But I also wanted to see Alan and it was the only night likely to work for him. I decided to stop by the party for an hour and meet him afterwards.
But then work exploded (the volcano is still spewing) and the last thing I wanted to do was go to a party. As it turned out, Alan’s work schedule shifted and he could no longer meet. I believed him, for what it’s worth. I worked late, went home, and worked from home even later. Continue reading →
I’d had a lot of time over the last few months to try to figure out, without overanalyzing, what the fuck Kyle’s deal was. I didn’t doubt his interest in me – he had the intention to see me / date me – however in practice it completely fell down.
Bottom line, dating me was not a priority. I would have bet he wasn’t dating others, so I didn’t get the sense he had other women that came first. Of course, being the last wife in the harem holds no appeal to me. It was harder to accept that even if I was the only one he was interested in, his behavior was still uncool. Continue reading →
The next morning around 10:30 Drew sent me a text: “Good morning.. Hope your having a great day so far”. We texted off and on throughout the day, and feeling positive that seeing him two nights in a row wouldn’t be weird, so I told him if Wednesday might not be able to work I was happy to see him that night. He was keen but needed to sort out work – he’s in a creative industry much like Tony where his schedule is rarely known in advance, nor is when his day ends.
It didn’t work out, which was completely fine, and he was very appreciative I was chill about it.
He sent proactive texts that day and the next. I asked if he was still good to get together that night and he told me he “would love to see” me. It felt nice. Continue reading →
I’ve had a few extra long weekends so far this year (which have been amazing) but with five weeks vacation to use, I needed to take some time off.
The last three summers I’ve taken Liam on two-week vacations. This year he’s going somewhere with his Dad, but I was able to find four nights where Liam and I can go to the ocean. But that’s not until next month.
So without plans, I booked two weeks off this month. It worked with the timing of my project and I figured I would sort out specific plans later. One of those weeks I have Liam and we will enjoy a few day trips, excursions and some visits to friends. I’m looking forward to having some relaxed time with him.
The other week I will be travelling to spend time with a close girlfriend and I can’t wait. It’s been a few months since we’ve seen each other and given what we’ve been through in that time, I think we’re both looking forward to it. I need some girl time. Continue reading →
I don’t regret many of the men I’ve had sex with. Certainly not that many in the last three years; just one. Unfortunately I have to add Doug to the list, I’m afraid. It’s not a strong regret but simply – it was sex I could have done without.
Doug is being set adrift.
After our first date, I knew there wasn’t long-term potential. There were too many divergent interests, attitudes, and behaviors. But he was fun and I could see perhaps spending a few rowdy nights hanging out on his boat. Continue reading →
Jake’s profile had appealed to me for a few reasons. It was well written and honest and had intellectual depth. He was tall and bulky and while not conventionally attractive I liked his look. Obviously, I liked that he’d followed up with me each time I came back online.
He asked me when I wanted him to come over with a bottle of wine. I told him I didn’t lead with sex anymore and perhaps we could go out for dinner. He was good with either but reminded me we’d already had sex and he knew we were both sexual people.
At some level I believed it wouldn’t make a difference with him. From the beginning, I think he was more like Jason and Andrew, where even if you have sex with them early they still see you as relationship material.
Thursday was Lewis’s. The week prior we went to a formal event together (which was awesome) and he came over to my place afterwards to let off the sexual tension building all night. Before he left, we agreed to meet this past Thursday. He also promised to take me dancing at some point this summer and I hope that can happen. I would love to be on a darkened dance floor with him.
Thursday was just going to be the two of us, but at some point during the day when my phone pinged with a new text message I looked down to see: “Clark said he’s free too…”
As I wrote yesterday, I find it very challenging to accept that extended periods of silence (as defined by me) do not equate to disinterest.
It goes against almost every other experience I’ve had with men so far, and it’s diametrically opposed to how I operate. I’m an open and enthusiastic communicator. I think nothing of telling a man I’m excited to see him, when I am. If I like you, you’ll know it.
I don’t play it cool very well. But here’s the problem – on the receiving end, how can the man know the difference between appropriate enthusiasm after a second date, and a woman who has gotten far ahead of herself on the relationship path? Continue reading →