a hail mary online dating experience

A Bumble hail mary

As I mentioned recently, I got fed up with online dating after a record short time.

I actually was so irritated at the men on Bumble who swiped right then ignored my messages that I sent them all a goodbye message, telling them I was deleting the app and it was too bad we never got a chance to talk.

Totally ridiculously passive aggressive and useless. I do know this. But it made me feel better. Continue reading

i quit online dating

I didn’t even last a week online dating.

It has been over a month after the final blowout with He Who Shall Not be Named. While I feel different and very tentative about dating, earlier this week I thought why not just open up my dating profiles again and see what happens.

The last time, I met someone who seemed awesome pretty quickly. Given my dating rules, online dating doesn’t take up much time or energy. It’s pretty low stress. I know we had debates here whether I was ready, but it wasn’t a big deal to me.

Continue reading

The fastest fuck ever.

After our first brief coffee date, which wasn’t a date as much as pre-screening, I explained to Sevag while I had Liam for longer than normal, perhaps we could find another time for coffee or a quick after work drink.

He was very keen to see me again. He told me he could still taste me on his mouth, and he liked it. That he was entirely distracted with thoughts of kissing me – and more.

We spoke again on the phone at night and had another nice long conversation that covered multiple topics. He was easy to talk to.

He sent romantic texts, speaking of how much he already missed me, how much we had in common, and how much potential he saw. Continue reading

That first coffee date…

Sevag’s first message on OK Cupid was thoughtful, honest, and customized for me. It was, frankly, as perfect as any opener could be:

“Yes we are a match 🙂 According to OK Cupid, 96%. Great! Your profile is very interesting and I would love to hear what changed or made you change for the last two years. Sounds like a conversation over a good bottle of red. 200k songs in your iTunes library? I thought I was a music fan, my library has only a couple of thousands 🙂 But I can tell we have the same taste and I would love to explore that. I must say I am excited (maybe I should hold my horses for the first message, but I am who I am) and I would love to know more about you. Sevag” Continue reading

Talking to Tony and Fox

I’ve been communicating with Tony this past week. Week one was just a couple of innocuous text messages. I’d been keeping an email in my draft folder to add links and thoughts, which largely kept me from reaching out to him constantly.

I mentioned this in a text – the presence of the email. He asked to read it so before I could edit it, I hit send. He said he would give it a “proper response”. Which was puzzling because it was entirely rhetorical. I had a few thoughts about whether contact with him, even infrequent, would be detrimental. I said at times I wished he’d just get back with Mary so I knew I hadn’t made a mistake.

I figured his response was going to address these comments. Continue reading

Back to the “online dating is ridiculous” posts…

I wouldn’t quite say I’m online dating just yet, but before I deleted a bunch of the messages in OK Cupid I screen captured them so I could share them here in all their douchy or boring glory.

I’m going to start with the first new person I responded to. His profile met my criteria, and I liked his somewhat clever start. But how quickly it disintegrated… Continue reading

Getting back on the Tony ride | Deciding whether to buy a ticket

~Previous Post~

It took him an hour to respond but I didn’t really notice; I was immersed in the shit show in my phone. My Mom had made me a tea and we chatted through how to respond to Fox. She’s a good coach.

Tony said he was sorry. He joked he’d better finish that job so we could have that dinner since it no longer “interfered with anyone”.

I will admit: being in the middle of an emotional mess is not the time I make the best decisions. My logic and my otherwise rigorous ability to think about the consequences of my actions, act with restraint, and be measured in my responses goes out the window. Especially when my focus is elsewhere. I can also rationalize like a mofo (Ed note: why isn’t it mofu??)

My focus was completely on Fox, yet my brain found some room for Tony, as a way to think about Fox. And my thought process went something like this: Continue reading

Getting back on the Tony ride | Deciding whether to buy a ticket

~Previous Post~

It took him an hour to respond but I didn’t really notice; I was immersed in the shit show in my phone. My Mom had made me a tea and we chatted through how to respond to Fox. She’s a good coach.

Tony said he was sorry. He joked he’d better finish that job so we could have that dinner since it no longer “interfered with anyone”.

I will admit: being in the middle of an emotional mess is not the time I make the best decisions. My logic and my otherwise rigorous ability to think about the consequences of my actions, act with restraint, and be measured in my responses goes out the window. Especially when my focus is elsewhere. I can also rationalize like a mofo (Ed note: why isn’t it mofu??)

My focus was completely on Fox, yet my brain found some room for Tony, as a way to think about Fox. And my thought process went something like this: Continue reading

Shenanigans returns and curiosity gets the better of me.

Some of you may remember the man I call Shenanigans. You can start his story here if you haven’t read it before.

I sum him up on my lovers page thusly: 30 year-old super tall, super hot, great cock, great sex, total shenanigans trying to meet and communicate with him. Complete selfish asshole who made me question every time whether it was worth it. Our relationship ended with him texting me “blow me” in anger, not passion. But he keeps coming back for a chat.

The last time I saw him was in December 2014, right before I met Tony. It was the first time I’d seen him in 10 months; we had dinner and I let him cum on my face. (I find it funny that the post gets found regularly by people searching the internet for cumming on a woman’s face. Nice.)

I never spoke to him after that date, nor did I particularly care to. He texted me a few times in the past nine months but it rarely amounted to anything remotely interesting enough for this blog.

Until last week.

Continue reading

Breaking a two-week dry spell with Fox

Perhaps it’s not exactly a dry spell when I was on vacation (and managed to hurt my labia during masturbation) for just two weeks, but it was even longer since I’d seen Fox.

We had been in regular contact during my vacation, sometimes texting throughout a whole day. We had two long FaceTime conversations near the end of the trip. He commented he felt like he knew me even better, liked me more, and he had opened up even further.

We finally started to talk about the things which interest me – his history, interests, attitudes. It’s as if he needed to trust me to get past the surface discussions I found so dull. I’m glad I was patient.  Continue reading