Leo enters an exclusive club

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I’m going to merge a few Leo visits into one post, otherwise I know a few of you will kill me for the “cliffhangers” I’m frequently accused of.

I saw him three times in the week before and after Christmas. The first time was a brief visit; he brought an orchid, sat next to me on my couch and cuddled. By the time he started to kiss me, hard, my son’s nanny showed up to take me to an appointment.

We giggled conspiratorially at almost being caught canoodling on the couch, and he promised to come see me later in the week when I would be alone. Continue reading

Leo, the gentleman lion.

It had been five weeks since I’d seen Leo, on our third date when he asked whether I was his girlfriend. When I told him by text I had neither the emotional or practical time or energy to have a relationship, he replied he completely understood. He told me he can be patient, that he didn’t want me to be the “one who got away” when he was old.

I thought it was sweet. He was understanding, and patient, and romantic without being creepy.

He kept in infrequent contact, checking in and saying hello. Never pressuring me.  Continue reading

The reason I reset my Tony counter.

I probably don’t need to explain too much how seeing that picture on Instagram made me feel. There was a lot going on in my head. I’d also been drinking and not that I ever use it as an excuse, but it absolutely reduced my impulse control.

I hadn’t contacted Tony about anything for a week after our last night together, nor had he reached out to me. We hadn’t texted, hadn’t even “liked” anything on Instagram (he’s on Twitter but neither of us are active there).

But in my hurt and anger, I did something which is now uncharacteristic – I sent a text in anger, something along the lines of:

“Wow, from my bed to “love birds” within a week? Nice. Makes me wonder whether I’ve been played the fool.” Continue reading

A stress release double header: My summer sausages.

8am

I still don’t have hot water. I’ve showered at the gym multiple times and it’s getting tired. At least its just me in the house this week. I’m frustrated with the whole water heater situation but I can’t imagine a more boring post than the ins and outs of gas line sizes and mold and faulty installations.

I haven’t seen Lewis since the day we failed to have the BBC party. A couple of days ago he asked what I was doing tonight, and we made plans to meet.

I have a girlfriend visiting for drinks and food while the next (and hopefully final) contractor comes to look at my hot water heater. But since he usually works late, I figured I could see him afterwards.

Yesterday night, in the heart of my phone-throwing-anger with Tony, I got the following text from Lewis: Continue reading

The first date with Drew

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It wasn’t that he didn’t look like his pictures, but the way he was animated in real life was ever so slightly different. And when he opened his mouth in a big smile to greet me, I noticed he was missing a tooth.

I immediately thought of Ariel, and if you haven’t read that story, you should.

I also told myself not to be so bloody superficial and to just give it a chance. Off we went. Continue reading

My brain is never quiet but my words are. 

I write this from Hy’s balcony, enjoying the weather and sipping a coffee. It’s been a very low-key and perfect few days so far. Good friends are precious.

While I’m sure some of you would love to hear me say we’ve been out been out partying, picking up men and having crazy orgasmic sexcapades, that wasn’t on the agenda. Sure, orgasms would be fantastic but so far they haven’t been sought out or received.

While still at home, I Bumble matched with a man temporarily in my city who lives in her city (the chance of that oh-so-slim), but despite being super keen to meet, he says he’s come down with a summer cold. It’s the closest I’ve come to an orgasm on this leg of my trip. Oh well. Continue reading

is meh better than nothing?

My busy week | Monday with Ian

It’s funny how moving past someone emotionally, ever so slightly, changes everything. Ian started out with decent potential even considering the distance. But his weird behavior on our third date (even now that I understand its cause) and his subsequent whining about not knowing what he wanted and what we’d do in September when he started to spend less time in the city was enough for me to move him from the “good potential” to “meh” box.

How different my reaction to him versus Kyle. I’m still not at “meh” with Kyle, but wish I was. Continue reading

a good date, then uncertainty

A tall attempt to counteract my cynicism

I decided to try Bumble again in the midst of relative silence from Ian. Perhaps I judged the app too harshly last time. And I just wanted a distraction. I fully admitted to myself I wanted to seek out someone who captured my fancy and who was worthy of my attention.

My second experience was pretty much the same as the first. Although as if they heard my feedback, they adjusted the app so a man now has to also respond (the first time) within 24 hours. Ghosting is eliminated in the first exchange at least.

So after a couple of texts with a few men, the conversations dwindled. Nothing worth writing about. Continue reading

suspected more deceit from Tony

That infectious little thing called doubt

If I try to hammer out 1,000 word posts (my usual) and not have any cliffhangers I think my head will explode. I’ll have too much building up in my brain without writing it down. The only way I’ll be able to update on Ian / Tony / new first date guy is to just write in smaller chunks based on the time I have.

First to deal with is Tony.

Prior to seeing him yesterday, it had been 2.5 weeks prior. We were supposed to meet the night he ended up being hospitalized. A few days later he came over and I remember feeling that something was just… off.

I’m learning through all these dating experiences that I pick up on far more signals than I am aware of; however knowing what they mean is the key.

Continue reading

a hail mary online dating experience

A Bumble hail mary

As I mentioned recently, I got fed up with online dating after a record short time.

I actually was so irritated at the men on Bumble who swiped right then ignored my messages that I sent them all a goodbye message, telling them I was deleting the app and it was too bad we never got a chance to talk.

Totally ridiculously passive aggressive and useless. I do know this. But it made me feel better. Continue reading