he fisted me in the middle of the night

He showed up in the middle of the night | In his words

If you haven’t read part one, you may want to. He finished his version before I finished my part two, so wanted to go ahead and share it with you.

These are his unedited words. You can see why I bask in them. Enjoy.


Honestly, I never thought we’d meet. Not out of lack of interest, mind you, but circumstances, distances and timing always seemed to work against us. But interest? Oh, interest was always there…how could it not be? For over two years, we’d danced a delicate dervish of flirtation and fantasy, getting to know one another’s nooks and crannies mentally, if not physically. From the start, she’d hooked me with her words; her passionate honesty, her fervid adventures, her moments of joy and yes, her moments of doubt. Every single word written with a delightful blend of intimate truthfulness and evident lust. The very combination that drives a man like me wild. Continue reading

I feel different than ever before.

I’m sure part of this is about work, and how much energy – emotional and intellectual – it’s taking at the moment.

I’m sure part of this is about the series of unsuccessful experiences with men. I’m not going to say “failures” because I don’t think of them that way – I always learn something (even hard lessons), and that’s never a failure. Fox and the last guy were just too much bloody drama at the end, despite promising beginnings. It’s exhausting to deal with.

I’m sure part of this is a result of having a relationship off and on with the same man for over a year, with the ultimate frustration being I haven’t been able to know what it’s like to be with him in a serious and integrated relationship. I’ve been so focussed on trying to get what I want I haven’t stopped to think what would happen when I get it. But that should be its own post. Continue reading

The benefit of lingerie; part two

[Part One]

I went up the stairs to Tony’s bedroom with him right behind me. Kissing me hard at the foot of his king size bed, with a free hand he grabbed the clothes strewn across his bed and dropped them on the floor.

He grabbed my shoulders, steered me toward the edge of the bed, and pushed me down on my back. I bounced and giggled with delight, knowing what was coming next.

Looking at me with raw hunger in his eyes, he kneeled on the bed at my feet, put a hand on the inside of each bent knee, and pushed my legs open. Taking a moment to admire the view, he leaned forward, put a hand on either side of my head and crushed me with a kiss.  Continue reading

I'm chillin', but wonder if I'm crazy…is this different?

It’s been three weeks since Tony and I reconnected over dinner.

I chose to do a fair amount of mental processing before I decided to treat him as something other than a temporary physical distraction. It did help, even if it’s painful for some of you to watch it via my posts.

My resolution is to not over think things constantly. To focus on what I have other than Tony and any men on the periphery (which amounts solely to Jason and a couple others who text occasionally; it’s sex-club-only interests which I’m not acting on). And with Tony, to enjoy what I get from him – which is companionship and passion.

It’s taken me a few days but I’ve presently worked any anxiety out of my system. Continue reading

I gave him the best sex ever and he’s falling for me. Not in that order.

I spent the weekend with Fox.

The weekend started Friday morning when he dropped his car off at my place. He works not far from where I live and it was easier to park then go into his office. Which also meant he could see me in the morning. I’d given him a key so he could just let himself in if I was sleeping.

Being woken up with kisses and a warm male body next to me is pretty damn awesome. Some decent sex and a coffee in bed later, he kissed me goodbye at my front door and was off to work. I worked at home, because I could. I had a few things to get done, in particular preparations for my boudoir photo shoot the next day.

Oh, right, how could I forget? He told me he was “falling for me”. Continue reading

It’s not every night I choose one man over several.

Part OnePart Two

One of you said that the love and fuzzy came through in my last post. It’s so very true. There is just something about that guy. My heart has expressed it pretty well in the past.

Tony and I had hours of amazing sex. Literally hours. Eventually the boots came off, but not before I’d lost count of orgasms and he had me in a variety of ways. At one point, the man who often finishes manually actually stopped himself from doing so and said “I don’t want to do this alone”, again pulling me into him. Continue reading

Cheese, meat, wine, corset, and heels

Part One

Tony picked up the phone and was quite happy to hear from me. When I asked what he was doing that night, he said he had plans to go to a sporting event but asked why I was asking.

“Well…” I said, “I was wondering if you would want to go to a sex club with me tonight. You see, there was a Dom I met a while ago, before I met you, and he wants to meet me to explore some BDSM stuff, and I thought you might be interested in joining me. ” (I worded it a bit better than that, with more context).

There was a pause as he processed my question. Then he said: Continue reading

My fifth date with the Fox.

Fox and I had our fifth date a week after my party (not counting it as a date); I had invited him to join me at a sporting event.

Liam was still with me, as Will had taken a 10 day trip with Colleen and her children (it’s a whole other post trying to understand why he didn’t take Liam). He was staying with my Mom overnight so I could go to the game.

Fox met me at our arranged pick up spot, needing some guidance from me on where exactly to be, as he’s not familiar with our city core. It was ever so slightly annoying that the man with built-in GPS who works a five-minute drive from there couldn’t figure it out. Any whiff of helplessness is a massive turn off for me – in men and women. Continue reading

Is it easing into a new relationship or not being that into someone?

Mr Fox and I had three dates in three days. We had not had sex although he’d given me an orgasm.

I completely forgot something important in my last post. When I asked him to come upstairs to my bedroom, I paused and realized I might have to explain my bruises. So I pulled away from our kissing, looked him in the eyes and said:

“If you come upstairs with me, you may see my ass. Which means I need to tell you about something you are going to see. I am very bruised. 

I’ve been exploring my sexuality and one thing I was curious about was my submission, in particular being “beaten” as it’s unfortunately called. So this past Friday night I met a Dom at this sex club and he had me on a St. Andrew’s Cross – do you know what that is? – and I was naked in front of an audience and he beat me. And I liked it.”

I paused and looked at him, questioning. He paused then said: “that is so fucking hot.” Continue reading

A third date with Mr. Fox in three days. 

I am so fucking behind in writing. My third date with Mr Fox was 12 days ago. I’m going to give some short versions of my stories so that I can get back to doing what I prefer – writing in real time.

Here goes:

We met again for our third date over lunch near my house didn’t have sex and he took forever to really touch me but he used ice on my nipples finger fucked me to orgasm and then had to leave for a meeting. The End.

What, not enough? Continue reading