Saturday plans: Tennis, Lunch, a Craigslist sale, and a nice f*ck.

Let me take you back, since I’m writing a bit out of sequence. Two weeks ago, I was experiencing a slowly disappearing man and had rekindled and quickly snuffed out my interactions with Tony.

Mr. Fetlife hadn’t responded to a text for several days, and the Teacher who was super keen ended up not being able to make any date work before a two-week vacation, so he was out of the picture.

The Accountant was being kind of creepy. He and I had pretty much stopped texting. He didn’t ask me out again, but if he had I’d decided to give it another chance. But then he came across my profile on Adult Friend Finder and his interest was reinvigorated. He messaged me there and on OK Cupid. He started texting me again.

He told me he’d taken my AFF profile pic (it’s half in shadow), lightened it, and said I looked great. It felt creepy. Continue reading

Wherein I make the next move and uncover what’s in his pants.

With the early morning text exchange with Lewis, I felt optimism. A nice feeling, for a change. He was flirty and sexy without being crass. I liked it.

We texted off and on throughout the day, sharing some jokes along the way. I’d been busy at work with the new role – finally – and it helped me to not worry about whether a few hours had passed without my hearing from him.

Our first date was Monday night. Through Wednesday morning, we exchanged relatively steady, if infrequent, text messages. He wasn’t as consistent as the school teacher, but he’s definitely not a bad texter.

I started to realize my schedule was conspiring against me. I also started to wonder whether he was going to ask me out again. Continue reading

I got nothing for ya this Sunday. Except a few ramblings.

I was thinking of creating a page on my blog called “texts and emails I didn’t send to Tony“. Because I have moments where I want to tell him something, or am just thinking about him, and it would be helpful to have an outlet.

For example…it’s been raining here, and we both love the sound of the rain while laying in bed together. I miss that. I went to get my hair cut and noticed my hair dresser uses the same phrase over and over again, just like Tony does. I was at a party last night (Liam was my date) and had asked Tony if he wanted to go. There was a concert in the person’s living room and sat there thinking of how much he would like it.

Of course, there are so many other things as well. Continue reading

A day in my online dating life

I know I tend to write about the guys who reach out and just want to fuck, or who write crazy stuff in an attempt to get my attention, or who end up just wanting sex.

But that’s actually not the majority of messages I get on dating sites. I just don’t write about them, because they are rather boring. Either the profiles or the messages are just – no. There are lots of guys out there but most just aren’t for me.

When I shut down my profiles a few weeks ago, I saved a few of the interactions with the sole intent of writing this post. Here are some examples of the dull and the not-for-me. Try not to fall asleep! Continue reading

The morning we slept in and had brunch (Date #4, Part Deux)

For part one of this date, go to this post.

Tony also has a section in my About my Lovers page, if you want the back story. And while I think about it, I also split my Lovers pages into two… there is now one called Quick & Dirty which has the one-offs or unsatisfying encounters. The main Lovers page has those I would consider relationships (or extended F*ck Buddies).


I completely forgot to mention my footwear. Tony had said in an earlier date that he really liked heels, in response to a question I casually asked him about fetishes. Trying to suss things out, you see.

So I brought a pair of high heeled boots to his house. I have had them for almost a decade and they are crazy sexy. Since I am in the northern hemisphere it’s winter, so I figured I would remove my winter boots and put these boots on when I got to his place. Continue reading

The night he cooked me dinner and we tested his bed (Date #4) Part 1

For the back story, please go to my lovers page, where Tony now has his own section 😀


Friday night I felt like death and Saturday morning wasn’t much better. My son was still with Will, my ex. I watched the last two episodes of “Boardwalk Empire”, then the movie “Saving Mr. Banks” (I bawled on three separate occasions but think it said more about my mental state than the movie, although it was quite good), and started a movie about Marilyn Munroe.

Tony had texted a few times during the day but called me to sort out final plans. He called and told me he preferred it over text and he said “ah there’s the voice I wanted to hear”… following it with some humor about my being sick and not sounding my best.

Turns out he was cooking dinner for me at his place. So fun!! His original plan was dinner at his place then we would go out from there. We have a running joke about who is the better bowler, so that was a candidate. But there was a brutal winter storm happening and we both conceded that the after-dinner fun might be restricted to his place. Continue reading

Wall construction is temporarily halted due to worker confusion.

Tony now has a section on my Lovers page, if you need to read the back story.


Saturday night I sent a text saying goodnight, after some back and forth texting throughout the day. I heard nothing all day Sunday from Tony. Or Monday morning. It was hard to not leap for my phone every time I heard a ping.

The girlfriend I was visiting helped talk me through my anxiety and feeling like I was about to get bailed on. Again. Even though my gut told me he was different. We talked through different scenarios, and settled on the same one as some of you lovely readers.

It was likely he just needed a bit of space – consciously or unconsciously. I split a year before he did – his is still relatively fresh. He’s in a different place. He had just recently put himself up on the online dating site. I know I was his first, first date. It’s also possible I was the first woman he’d slept with since his split. Continue reading

A third date, then…my walls start to be built, just like that.

Part One (how he reached out online) | Part Two (the first part of our first date) | Part Three (the end of our first date) | Part Four (our second date)


We made plans to go out again that Friday night, the day after Christmas. He had tickets to a sporting event and wanted to take me. He knew that after this week, Friday would generally be my only free night – so he said Friday nights were for me. It made my heart flutter a little bit at the thought.

With the Christmas illness that felled my parents (post to follow tomorrow on that debacle), they weren’t able to take my son that Friday night. So I had to call Tony and tell him I couldn’t go out. I said I understood if he still wanted to go to the game, but if he was keen, he was welcome to come to my place after my son went to sleep. Continue reading

The decidedly lower-key second date with Tony

Part One (how he reached out online) | Part Two (the first part of our first date) | Part Three (the end of our first date).

We didn’t want the first date to end, so we decided to continue it on Tuesday evening. No time like the present, since we were both child-free. At first we wanted to go out again for dinner, then we realized we were damn tired.

Tony came over to my place – promising to clean up his place to make it presentable for the next time. When I opened my front door to greet him he seemed genuinely happy to see me again. The greeting kiss was just as good as those from earlier that day. Continue reading

The first date that never ended

Part One | Part Two

Yes, it was almost 4am. But I was having so much fun. I am also trying to stick to a resolution to not have sex with men on the first date. An experiment of sorts, to see whether it makes any difference in the post-date interaction. But he was the one reassuring me that we could just keep kissing and it would be amazing.

So we got a taxi and went back to my place. Naturally, we kept kissing in the car. Much of the rest of the night was a blur – not because I was drunk. There was kissing and nakedness and pleasure and of course I was on my period and he said he didn’t care. And while everyone’s definition of “sex” is different… we did leave something to be done on the next date.

He is so passionate, he moves well, and he looks at me very intently. At times I would open my eyes and he would be looking down at me with a big smile on his face. Continue reading