Parties & Friends sorted, on to the Wife

The conversations I had on the weekend with Tony helped me reset my head about parties and friends. But what replaced it was the rediscovered concern he was still actively contemplating getting back with his ex. You may recall from this post in the spring it was a rude awakening for me the first time.

I’m not going to rehash all the reasons why he’s occasionally tortured with this decision; just read the comments on my last few posts and you’ll be filled in.

I don’t feel it’s a rejection of me in the least. I told him a long time ago I can’t compete (nor do I wish to) with all that shared history. I also said he can’t compare what we have to his marriage; he and I have never fought about childcare, money, or who is going to do the dishes.

But as much as I told myself I was okay, and tried to keep my mind busy with other things, I got myself into two bad mental places. The first was wondering whether I was on the periphery of his life because he doesn’t want her to find out about me, in case he’s returning to her.  Continue reading

The Tony conversations.

Last week, I was sick, had written my morose post, and was not in a good mind set. Bit of an understatement.

Tony called me that evening. Not as soon as he finished work – he’d rushed to his ex’s house so he could take his son skating. He called me after he dropped him off and was driving home.

He sounded so happy to be able to take him and that he was making good progress. He has a skating party with a friend next weekend and wants to be able to skate.

Tony’s love for his son shines through whenever he talks about him. He misses him so much. He takes him to school every morning he can, and sometimes has him overnight on a Saturday, but that’s it. I know it tortures him because he tells me so. Continue reading

The night he cooked me dinner and we tested his bed (Date #4) Part 1

For the back story, please go to my lovers page, where Tony now has his own section 😀


Friday night I felt like death and Saturday morning wasn’t much better. My son was still with Will, my ex. I watched the last two episodes of “Boardwalk Empire”, then the movie “Saving Mr. Banks” (I bawled on three separate occasions but think it said more about my mental state than the movie, although it was quite good), and started a movie about Marilyn Munroe.

Tony had texted a few times during the day but called me to sort out final plans. He called and told me he preferred it over text and he said “ah there’s the voice I wanted to hear”… following it with some humor about my being sick and not sounding my best.

Turns out he was cooking dinner for me at his place. So fun!! His original plan was dinner at his place then we would go out from there. We have a running joke about who is the better bowler, so that was a candidate. But there was a brutal winter storm happening and we both conceded that the after-dinner fun might be restricted to his place. Continue reading