I don’t think I breathed until I saw Gregory’s reply: “Trust me, nothing shocks me.”
“And so have I done those things”
“And that answer was fluff, testing the water”
Yes, of course it was. It was already nerve-wracking enough telling him something I rarely tell anyone. So I said “It’s a big risk to talk about this stuff. I have found men either can’t handle it because it’s intimidating, or they feel insecure about it. Or worse, I stop being a fully fleshed-out woman and become only about sex.” Continue reading →
He has been relatively silent and when I inquired as to the reason for his absence, he attributed it to busy weekends with his daughter and a busier than normal work schedule.
He said that last time and then disappeared completely, so I was somewhat skeptical. The difference this time is although on the surface he’s a man I could actually date, we are clearly only fucking each other, so it’s no issue for me to send a text here and there. I’m okay being an equal partner in moving things forward, when the result is getting laid by Lewis. Continue reading →
Lewis and I have kept up infrequent contact since I reached out to him after Chapter Two ended with Tony.
He went on a long string of daily gif texts – all MFM threesomes with two black men and a white woman, usually blonde. Sometimes many black men with one woman. All in all it was hot, but sometimes disconcerting to receive in the middle of a meeting when I’m playing corporate Barbie.
He arranged for us to get together with another couple but I cancelled it – I simply wasn’t up to those kinds of shenanigans at the time. I took a rain check.A second time we arranged for an MFM, the second gentleman, Clark, cancelled. I actually can’t remember if Lewis and I got together anyway. I know I’ve seen him a couple of times at least since things ended with Tony. Continue reading →
I don’t have a sex bucket list. I actually find the notion to be limiting rather than freeing.
I suppose I’ve actually already done a hell of a lot, so there’s that. I was 18 when I had my first MFM threesome.
But, I can only add things I am aware of (and I’m constantly learning of new sexual things out there). If I don’t check something off a list, not only does it run counter to my nature, it makes me feel like I’ve failed.
Also, because I’m driven to cross things off my lists and I hate to fail, it could drive me to do something just because it’s on my list, rather than because the situation and person is right.
Bottom line is, for me, it engenders the wrong behavior and has the chance to limit and hurt.
I’m weird that way I guess.
That’s not to suggest there aren’t things I want to try. They are in my head, not written down, and I wait for the magic trifecta of right time, place, and person (or persons!).