Group sex relationship dynamics.

I find the dynamics of group sex fascinating, especially when some of the participants have ongoing “relationships”.

Lewis continues to be an excellent source of hot lovers. I’ve never really known men like him – he genuinely seems to have zero jealousy or possessiveness. Granted, while he and I have some level of affection for each other, it is 90% a sexual relationship.

But even then, in the same conditions – regular lovers over a two year period – I know few men who would willingly and continually share someone when that sharing is quite literally in their face.

But Lewis gets off on it.  Continue reading

group sex

Part 2 of my MFMFM

Previous Post – Group Sex

Lewis was the next to arrive. He said despite waiting for Bobbie at his place, turns out she needed to come separately. She was parking her car.

When she arrived, I could tell she was nervous. She complimented me on my house and I got her a wine glass for the white she brought. I left her in my kitchen with Lewis and Charles and I went to talk to Todd on my balcony. Continue reading

MFMFM group sex

Just another MFMFM

If you told me 5 years ago I would have a night like last night, I would have said you’re insane.

I had anal sex for the first time at 18 (but never again for many years). I had two threesomes by my last year of College. My ex husband was the first to fist me, at 25. So while I’m not sure it’s all that rare (surveys about sex are notoriously unreliable) my point is I wasn’t entirely vanilla before my split.

But this seems to be a whole other level. 

Lewis introduced me to Todd the first time for a threesome. For last night’s adventure, Lewis brought a woman he’s played with twice. Todd invited another male friend, Charles.

Three very tall, very fit, handsome and hung black men. All happened to wear head-to-toe black. There was a lot of muscle and gorgeousness in my kitchen at the same time.

Due to Todd’s delayed flight and Lewis waiting for Bobbie, Charles was the first to arrive. I was completely disarmed by his handsomeness. So much so, I was giddy. I’m usually pretty chill but there was just something about him that set me off-balance. It was similar to when I first met Todd. Charles had a warm smile, an easygoing vibe, and was ridiculously easy on the eyes.

We got drinks and went outside to talk. He asked how I met Clark and Todd. He told me the only reason he said yes to Todd’s invitation was that both he and Clark spoke very highly of me, said I was awesome and had a “great energy”. He was big into that.

I told him I liked his energy too.

I said: “Ummm… before ‘all this’ starts I was hoping to ask if we could, um…”

He interjected “…Can you kiss me?” 

“Ah, no, that’s not what I was going to ask. But I like that idea… erm… I was going to ask if you’d like to see each other again?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

He gave me his business card and I put it on my fridge then went back outside to join him.

“Can I kiss you now?” I asked with a huge smile?

He answered by stepping forward, wrapping his arms around me and leaning in to touch his lips to mine.

And holy hannah, it was electric.

Whatever I had expected – a blunt instrument, for lack of a better term – turned out to be the precision of a Stradivarius. 

It was slow. The moment our lips touched we paused. There was no movement, only delicious anticipation, then an ever so slight increase of pressure. A small movement so more of our lips touched. A sigh. 

I was shocked. This was not the kiss of a guy focused solely on getting laid. 

We broke apart and both said “wow”. I may have giggled and asked to do it again. We did, and it could have been 5 minutes or 20.

“Yo A!” came the shout from my kitchen. It was Todd, making his presence known. Charles and I broke apart again and bounced (literally) into the house to give Todd a kiss.

It had begun.

defining attraction and appeal

Defining attraction and appeal

A recent post by a fellow blogger got me thinking about what really matters to me in choosing who to engage with on an online dating site. Who am I attracted to, and why? How does attraction work?

As anyone who has been reading me for a while knows, I am rather analytical. It’s one of the things that makes me very good at my job and naturally it carries over into my personal life. And the things I learn at work apply as well – in this case, my approach to dating can be summed up as “test and learn”.

I’m not going to get all corporate speak on you. But the idea is when making changes, try some different things, see how they work, and learn from it.  Continue reading

a threesome with two stallions

A very thorough f*cking.

I’m sore in many places, from my core to my ass. And by ass, I mean anus ;), thanks to a particularly awesome threesome.

I have been thoroughly fucked, perhaps in the way only possible when you’ve had two lovers tag team you for hours.

If you don’t know that pleasure, add it to your list now.

I have seen both Lewis and Clark since my injury, but only once each and not together. Continue reading

Leo and I figure things out.

The trip with Leo had my head spinning. I sat on the plane, watching the sunset, listening to music, and turning things over and over. What was it I really wanted, why wasn’t I content, could anything be done about it. What did I say to him, if anything.

Sometimes things are clear for me in dating and I only need to figure out what I want to say.

But with Leo it wasn’t as straightforward. On the plus side, I knew he was trying. He is a solid family man, a good dad, and has close friends. He’s self-confident and kind. He was chill about my blog and seemed to have no issues with my sexual history or even my current ask to be non-exclusive. None of these are qualities to be taken lightly.  Continue reading

I’m one delayed response away from being a cynical bitch.

I haven’t missed the bullshit of dating.

I briefly reinstalled Bumble after breaking up with Leo after our vacation, less because I was serious about trying to find someone new than simply to see how it felt to put myself back out there.

It was boring. Men who can’t find anything to ask other than “hey what’s up” and “how was your day”, men who swipe right and reply once, just to ignore you afterwards, men who are not interesting at all. Men you like who don’t like you back.

I was somewhat relieved to find wasn’t bouncing right back into it.  Continue reading

I’m in a weird – but good – place. 

I need to keep this quick because it’s WAY past my bedtime. 

I’m away for work again, another short stint. A conversation with a girlfriend last night got me thinking, and after dinner at her place I decided to walk home to clear my head and hopefully my sinuses. Because yeah, I got my kid’s cold. 

While my head stayed stuffed up, some things became clear.

I really like not having to answer to anyone, and am enjoying my personal freedom at the moment. I almost titled this post “I’m a raging slut” but then realized a) that’s not my core message, and b) “slut” is such a judgy word, and I’m cool with my actions. 

It occurred to me yesterday I have three casual lovers, all black, hung, and super hot, and I’m very lucky for it. They are infrequent lovers, especially Todd, but Lewis and Clark are around enough given how busy I am. 

What is so different for me now than three years ago is I am quite content with the pace of their communications. They reach out when they can and I genuinely don’t notice when it’s been a few days between texts. I’m not fussed. We know exactly what the deal is with each other, and are content with the status quo.

I also have a man who is very keen on deepening our relationship, and who so far has proven to be okay with my blog-big-reveal and the knowledge we aren’t exclusive. Leo and I have seen each other a few times in the last few weeks and it’s been nice. It’s lovely to have someone desire me the way he does. It’s good spending time with him, and I’m not expending much effort worrying about whether it will work out.

Que sera, sera.

A guy I met on Adult Friend Finder last summer (or maybe fall?) who I never ended up meeting – he cancelled a coffee date last minute – texted me out of the blue. He said he’d been travelling for the last 6 months and remembered we’d had good conversations and he asked if we could meet for a coffee.

Sure, why not? Perhaps it will happen next week, but if doesn’t, that’s okay too.

I’m not blasé about my interactions – I’ve had times before where I don’t feel much of anything – but I’m chill. I’m enjoying what’s in my direct path, and focusing on friends and family and work. 

I think that’s an okay place to be. 

From theory to practice with Leo.

Leo and I booked a date after our big talk. A full-on dinner and activity weekend date. I was cautiously optimistic.

It was going to be a beautiful day so at the last minute we modified our plans. He came to my house just after lunch and we planned to do a day trip to a nearby wine region, visit some of the quaint towns in the area, and have dinner. If anything was going to be an issue, it wasn’t going to be our itinerary!

Continue reading

Apologies if I confused you.

Thanks to the reader who sent me an email about this, or I wouldn’t have known.

Yesterday, I looked at some of my draft posts, including those about the man I refer to as “He Who Shall Not Be Named” (HWSNBN). I took all of the posts off the blog after some nasty shit went down between us that culminated in the police getting involved.

Anyway, I read one such post, called Intimacy with friends and lovers, and noticed it had some passages quite similar to what I’ve been writing about Leo. I decided to put the post back into “published” status, and did so on my phone, not realizing some of you would get that post via email.

So to any of you who read that post thinking it was about Leo, it wasn’t. Apologies!

Oh, and I also seem to have posted my last post (It’s not him, it’s me. Or is it?) with the wrong time, so not sure it showed up in anyone’s feed. Not my day, I guess.