Shortly after my split, I got a tattoo to remind me to live a life of no regrets. It’s highly visible and I’ve used it at times to help make that “oh just go for it” decision. My decisions are all mine now; I don’t want to look back years from now and think “if only…”, especially when it comes to a pickup.
You know those moments where you see someone who sends electric shocks through your body, yet you let them pass by without a word spoken? I remember every time it happened to me, and decided I’d do my best to never let it happen again. I don’t want to have “missed connections” anymore. Continue reading →
I had a sore throat on my first date with Bruce. I didn’t think much of it, or better said, I wasn’t going to think about what it could mean. I was still in denial. The day after I woke up feeling terrible and worked from home. I’m a big believer in not coming into the office with a contagion.
We kissed each other goodbye on the Wednesday. I was sick through Monday, when I saw him for our second date. He’d been away and I hadn’t mentioned not feeling well. I didn’t want to sound sickly to a guy I’d just started dating. It’s a sore point – my ex always gave me a hard time for staying home when I didn’t feel well. Continue reading →
I hit “publish” by mistake on the previous post. Whoops. I wasn’t going to create a cliffhanger, but those of you who follow me on Twitter already know what I was going to say.
Bruce and I decided to leave my couch and go for dinner. As he moved to stand up I said “ummm can I kiss you before we go?” and he immediately said “yes”, shaking his head to himself as if to say “Bruce you are such a dummy” as he leaned in to kiss me. At least, that’s what I’m hoping the reaction was.
It was as good as the first kiss on our first date. Perhaps better, because it lasted way longer. Continue reading →
I like wine and cheese. Along with kissing, they provide some of my life’s greatest pleasure.
I guess I served Alan some great cheese (not uncommon) because he’s used it as the rationale to reach out to me three times since I broke it off. Well, he used other methods as well to try to see me again, the most memorable being a naked mirror selfie of himself with a hard-on, wearing a Trump mask.
He greets me with my favorite flowers (peonies) and champagne. Flowers that no other man has placed in my hands. Real champagne. He smiles at my response, telling me I deserve them, enveloping me in the kind of hug that fills my body and heart.
As I fuss with the flowers at the sink he comes up behind me to brush the hair off the back of my neck and kiss me, first tenderly then with increasing pressure as he buries his mouth in that sensitive spot behind my left ear, I feel his hot breath, and he grabs a hipbone in each hand with a groan.
I’ve avoided writing about him, but granted there is little to say. I’ve admitted I can’t get him out of my head – the man with whom I have three great times together, physical and intellectual chemistry, and who has a terrible track record of bailing on dates.
His appeal to me isn’t the chase; he’s on the surface very close to what I’m looking for, with some added bonuses. Crazily tall, dark, and handsome. A good job and unthreatened by mine, long-ago divorced with a good relationship with his ex, a family man who has taken his Mom on vacations. Intellectual banter and humor. Great kissing chemistry. And although I haven’t seen it, he seems to be packing a lot in his pants. Continue reading →
I had some decisions to make. Did I believe him? Mostly. I knew there was a chance he was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, but seeing how uncomfortable he was, and the way he told me, led me to believe there was far more truth to his words than lies.
I didn’t write it all out, but I did challenge him on a number of things during our conversation. The most important for me was how it was possible he didn’t feel comfortable with me, given how open I’d been with him about my own sexuality.
I’m going to merge a few Leo visits into one post, otherwise I know a few of you will kill me for the “cliffhangers” I’m frequently accused of.
I saw him three times in the week before and after Christmas. The first time was a brief visit; he brought an orchid, sat next to me on my couch and cuddled. By the time he started to kiss me, hard, my son’s nanny showed up to take me to an appointment.
We giggled conspiratorially at almost being caught canoodling on the couch, and he promised to come see me later in the week when I would be alone. Continue reading →
I can’t even recall exactly when first contact was made with Tony. I had several weeks of silence, which was good for me. Strangely perhaps, the subsequent contact didn’t pull me back in but instead, helped me move on.
It’s been a long journey to get to this point. Tony’s duplicity is no surprise, nor is his ability to obfuscate and avoid conversations that reveal too much truth. He’s an expert.
So I’m not in any way going to suggest surprise at any of those things.