The way he feels.

He greets me with my favorite flowers (peonies) and champagne. Flowers that no other man has placed in my hands. Real champagne. He smiles at my response, telling me I deserve them, enveloping me in the kind of hug that fills my body and heart.

As I fuss with the flowers at the sink he comes up behind me to brush the hair off the back of my neck and kiss me, first tenderly then with increasing pressure as he buries his mouth in that sensitive spot behind my left ear, I feel his hot breath, and he grabs a hipbone in each hand with a groan.

I can barely get the flowers in the vase. Continue reading

The pursuit of Kyle.

I’ve avoided writing about him, but granted there is little to say. I’ve admitted I can’t get him out of my head – the man with whom I have three great times together, physical and intellectual chemistry, and who has a terrible track record of bailing on dates.

Kyle.

His appeal to me isn’t the chase; he’s on the surface very close to what I’m looking for, with some added bonuses. Crazily tall, dark, and handsome. A good job and unthreatened by mine, long-ago divorced with a good relationship with his ex, a family man who has taken his Mom on vacations. Intellectual banter and humor. Great kissing chemistry. And although I haven’t seen it, he seems to be packing a lot in his pants. Continue reading

Two steps forward and one step back.

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I had some decisions to make. Did I believe him? Mostly. I knew there was a chance he was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, but seeing how uncomfortable he was, and the way he told me, led me to believe there was far more truth to his words than lies.

I didn’t write it all out, but I did challenge him on a number of things during our conversation. The most important for me was how it was possible he didn’t feel comfortable with me, given how open I’d been with him about my own sexuality.

Continue reading

Leo enters an exclusive club

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I’m going to merge a few Leo visits into one post, otherwise I know a few of you will kill me for the “cliffhangers” I’m frequently accused of.

I saw him three times in the week before and after Christmas. The first time was a brief visit; he brought an orchid, sat next to me on my couch and cuddled. By the time he started to kiss me, hard, my son’s nanny showed up to take me to an appointment.

We giggled conspiratorially at almost being caught canoodling on the couch, and he promised to come see me later in the week when I would be alone. Continue reading

Tony’s Christmas Gift

I can’t even recall exactly when first contact was made with Tony. I had several weeks of silence, which was good for me. Strangely perhaps, the subsequent contact didn’t pull me back in but instead, helped me move on.

It’s been a long journey to get to this point. Tony’s duplicity is no surprise, nor is his ability to obfuscate and avoid conversations that reveal too much truth. He’s an expert.

So I’m not in any way going to suggest surprise at any of those things.

But. Continue reading

Alan breaks the 5-minute barrier by a long shot

While I’m doing a great job not getting ahead of myself with Alan – or writing him off too fast – I will admit I was a wee bit worried sex with him was going to be unsatisfying.

While I’m hardly the model of athleticism (despite some new muscles gained from 6 months of twice-weekly visits to my trainer) I can fuck like a demon. I can only think of a few men who made me beg for no more sex. And that includes a fair number much younger than I.

If sex had prizes, I’m told I would win “best rider” and “most insatiable”. I have no idea whether the men who said it were genuine, and I don’t particularly care. I mention it only to demonstrate that despite any extra padding around my middle and my ass, I’m a champion fucker. Continue reading

Meet the technician.

I need to get caught up here, because I don’t want to keep taking writing shortcuts. There are things going on in my head which I need to unpack – and sometimes it takes a whole post to do so. But I can’t do that if I haven’t introduced the situations or characters.

So.

I have closed my Bumble and Adult Friend Finder accounts. I’m not taking any new applicants for the time being. I met a couple of men from AFF, two who haven’t made it to the blog were good pre-clearance dates but nothing came of it. One went away for a week’s trip and I never heard from him upon his return. The other I told I wasn’t going to be able to make time for a second date any time soon.  Continue reading

The only answer to “can I cook for you? Is YES.

I introduced you to Alan the Boilermaker in my previous post. After our first date, which ended in a delightful-yet-public kiss on the  sidewalk in front of my house, Alan proved to be a consistent and flirty communicator.


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Passing a chemistry test.

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The next morning around 10:30 Drew sent me a text: “Good morning.. Hope your having a great day so far”. We texted off and on throughout the day, and feeling positive that seeing him two nights in a row wouldn’t be weird, so I told him if Wednesday might not be able to work I was happy to see him that night. He was keen but needed to sort out work – he’s in a creative industry much like Tony where his schedule is rarely known in advance, nor is when his day ends.

It didn’t work out, which was completely fine, and he was very appreciative I was chill about it.

He sent proactive texts that day and the next. I asked if he was still good to get together that night and he told me he “would love to see” me. It felt nice.  Continue reading

The first date with Drew

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It wasn’t that he didn’t look like his pictures, but the way he was animated in real life was ever so slightly different. And when he opened his mouth in a big smile to greet me, I noticed he was missing a tooth.

I immediately thought of Ariel, and if you haven’t read that story, you should.

I also told myself not to be so bloody superficial and to just give it a chance. Off we went. Continue reading