The universe has a sense of humor.

Harper told me once he didn’t believe in fate or things happening for a reason. It was a happy accident the Tinder algorithm decided to show my profile to him. I don’t know what I believe – is it true you get what you put out into the universe? That the universe sends you signs all the time, the key is being open to them?

Could it be someone or something cares enough about what I do that Harper finding out about my blog is the universe punishing me for any perceived misdeeds with Tony?

I don’t know. I’m a practical sort: I actually don’t spend a lot of my time thinking those big universe type thoughts. I’d like to believe in karma and reincarnation. According to a noted psychic, in one of my past lives, I was a very powerful healer. Dunno. But I do live my life as if it’s the only one I have. Continue reading

dating like teenagers

What are we, 16?

There was the epic makeout session that felt like the long-ago days of being in the basement, listening for parents feet on the stairs so as not to get caught with tongues down throats and hands down pants. The early days of dating can be so much fun.

There is the feeling of not being able to get enough of someone.

I’m not relationship dumb like I was at 16, but it doesn’t mean I’m not acting like a teen at times. Continue reading

defining attraction and appeal

Defining attraction and appeal

A recent post by a fellow blogger got me thinking about what really matters to me in choosing who to engage with on an online dating site. Who am I attracted to, and why? How does attraction work?

As anyone who has been reading me for a while knows, I am rather analytical. It’s one of the things that makes me very good at my job and naturally it carries over into my personal life. And the things I learn at work apply as well – in this case, my approach to dating can be summed up as “test and learn”.

I’m not going to get all corporate speak on you. But the idea is when making changes, try some different things, see how they work, and learn from it.  Continue reading

The pursuit of Kyle.

I’ve avoided writing about him, but granted there is little to say. I’ve admitted I can’t get him out of my head – the man with whom I have three great times together, physical and intellectual chemistry, and who has a terrible track record of bailing on dates.

Kyle.

His appeal to me isn’t the chase; he’s on the surface very close to what I’m looking for, with some added bonuses. Crazily tall, dark, and handsome. A good job and unthreatened by mine, long-ago divorced with a good relationship with his ex, a family man who has taken his Mom on vacations. Intellectual banter and humor. Great kissing chemistry. And although I haven’t seen it, he seems to be packing a lot in his pants. Continue reading

Meet the tradesman.

Did you know “Boilermaker” is a real job, still? Yup.

And I’m dating one.

His nickname among my friends is “lasagne man”, because for our second date he suggested he come to my place and would bring a home-made lasagne. Yes!

He showed up with lasagne, flowers, and 2 types of jam made by his Mom. What’s not to love?

But let me start at the beginning. Continue reading

It’s quite true. They come back.

This isn’t something that just happened, but I haven’t had a chance to write about it and figured some levity might be a good thing for me right now.

WAY back when I first started dating, and acted like a crazy woman when someone disappeared (just read about the Cook to see an example), there was a guy who I met for one date and then he gradually disappeared, but not before he also continued to reach out to a close friend of mine online.

I lost my shit. I literally cringe when I read the post, but go read it and then come back. I’ll wait.

Continue reading

Intimacy with friends and lovers

I’ve been thinking a lot about intimacy. How we build it, and what happens when its destroyed. How we simultaneously can want it, and shrink from it.

It can be fucking terrifying, yet freeing.

Many people were surprised I would spend a weekend away with someone so early in our relationship. I wanted to see what it would be like. What he was like, and what we were like together. It’s hard to be only on your best behavior for four days. And given his early declarations of love for me, I was very keen to suss out whether my gut was wrong: could he actually be needy and in love with love? Continue reading

Back to the “online dating is ridiculous” posts…

I wouldn’t quite say I’m online dating just yet, but before I deleted a bunch of the messages in OK Cupid I screen captured them so I could share them here in all their douchy or boring glory.

I’m going to start with the first new person I responded to. His profile met my criteria, and I liked his somewhat clever start. But how quickly it disintegrated… Continue reading

Three old flames have been put in my path.

I’m not particularly fatalistic. I don’t believe the things that happen to me are all guided by some supreme being.

But there are times where I do wonder what the universe is trying to tell me.

This is one of those times. Continue reading

Summer to-do list update | Week 9 Update (Aug 13)

I fell off the wagon with updates, and with progress. Such is life. Mental progress was made about Tony; perhaps that should have been my #1 goal instead of weight loss, because that’s been a pretty big one.


Lose at least 10 lbs. My real goal is 18 but at the very least I want to fit into a particular suit and dress, and I know 2 lbs a week every week is not going to happen.

NOPE NOPE NOPE | Perhaps I should modify this goal. I haven’t really tried other than increasing my physical activity. I’ve been good on vacation; every day Liam and I have played tennis, or frisbee, or catch. I was determined to move my body and I’ve done that.

But there’s been no weight loss.  Continue reading