Despite all of my progress…

I have Father issues. After my Dad and Mom split up, my Dad went to work in another city for over a year. I was 7 years old, and it felt like forever. I took a plane to visit him once or twice and he wrote me letters.

But despite the relatively short time and connectivity he felt as a grown-up, it was very different for me as a child.

I never really internalized my Father’s love for me until much later in my life. He was the kind of parent who praised me for my good work along with a reminder I could always do better. As a driven professional adult, I appreciate this, but as a child, it doesn’t feel good. It felt like I was never good enough and my Father didn’t love me for who I was.

He had a second child with my stepmother and he became much more overt about his love.

But the damage was done.

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Fully integrating into each other’s lives.

“As a relationship progresses you hit milestones.

The last couple of days I feel we hit several. Maria staying at you place alone; me going to your Mothers birthday; chilling playing a board game with Liam.

This weekend to me is a HUGE bridge we are going to cross. Going to your friends country house; me staying overnight with Liam there.

We are becoming a fully integrated couple (if we aren’t already).

I know you asked me to stay over last night with Liam there. I said “no” because of clothes and Maria.

Before this weekend happens, I want you to be certain I am what you want; what you are looking for in a relationship.  Continue reading