Jake, not Jack

It had been many months since we’d seen each other. When I activated my profile on Plenty of Fish, he was there. I was a bit surprised since I figured his contribution to our mutual fadeaway was having met someone else. He sent me a short message and we quickly established the fade wasn’t deliberate on either of our parts. He thought I was no longer interested, and I told him since he’d left my last text message hanging and never reached out again, he had moved on.

Wrong.

He’s a parent as well, so finding a time to meet is never a slam dunk. But we settled on a date to go to a sporting event together, and when he expressed dismay at having almost two weeks to see me, we agreed he would come over one evening as well.

I have always liked his physicality. He’s a tall man at 6’3″, and is also big. He’s broad shouldered and bulky. He’s gained some weight and ironically perhaps is the same weight as Leo, but his physicality is so different it didn’t literally or figuratively get in the way.

He greeted me with a big messy kiss. I didn’t remember his kisses being so… wet. It got better throughout the night but I’ve got to say, if your partner needs to wipe their mouth and face after a kiss, tone it down.

He’d told me he hadn’t had sex in a while, but I still expected a little more conversation before he wanted to go upstairs. But I was happy to be in the capable hands of a good partner. 

I’ve said before about Jake: he’s got the right mix for a casual partner. He’s a technically proficient lover, and he’s also sensual and emotional. He’s not the fuck-and-leave type. Nor does he want to sleep over. He loves to please his partner, and I’m quite willing to be on the receiving end.

The sex was great. I was reminded that someone’s weight is not necessarily a predictor of their physical capability. Where Leo could only handle one position and only went down on me twice, Jake expertly moved me from back to front, took me from the end of my bed with him standing on the floor, made me squirt, cum from oral, and the list goes on.

We missed our sporting-event-then-sex date because I was felled with a migraine. I thought perhaps he would come over just to hang it and perhaps increase my blood flow (it helps with my migraines) but he chose to spend time with his son instead.

Shortly after, Jack asked for exclusivity and I said yes. 

I let Jake know via text (I don’t think we’ve ever spoken on the phone):

Hey Jake – hope you had a good week and some fun planned for the weekend?

I wanted to let you know I met someone I met on POF who prefers to date one person at a time… he may have some potential so I’ve agreed to do that. Figure I will know pretty quickly whether there’s anything real with him…

But it does mean I’m not going to mess around with anyone else in the meantime.

I know you’ll understand and I do want to keep in touch if you’re okay with that.

He was totally cool with it. We both know it could happen with either of us and I appreciate him being chill instead of weird.
He said he hoped it would work out for me. Which is the sign of a quality  dude, given he’s perhaps permanently losing a lover.

I choose well.

there's no lack of attention online dating

Balance and patience when online dating.

I’m back online dating on Plenty of Fish and as expected, it has not been without hilarity and offense. Contrary to popular opinion that its filled with bottom feeders, I believe there are plenty (see what I did there) of quality men on the site. After all, it’s where I met Fox and Tony and no matter what happened in our relationships, bottom feeders they were not.

I don’t think the site has changed since I’ve been on there last (a year, maybe two?), but I definitely have. And it makes all the difference in how online dating feels. Continue reading

I took a new lover. 

My AFF profile was open for a few months last Summer and early Fall. It’s where I met Leo, as some of you may remember. I have zero recollection whether I met anyone else in person from that site – it’s funny how time erases some people and not others – but there was another man who tried and we simply couldn’t connect.

I never wrote about him, because I never met him. The last interaction was him asking me to meet one weekend morning for coffee, then when I agreed to the time and place he went silent. It was the second or third time it didn’t work due to his flakiness so when he reached out again, I scolded him and said no thank you.

That was enough for him to not try again. Until recently. Continue reading

3 nights of 2am (Part 1)

I wrote about Lewis and Todd last week. I was smitten and smiling randomly the next day – I always find the dichotomy of being a mom and corporate suit as well as the woman who has threesomes pretty amusing.

I told Lewis I would love a repeat before Todd went back home. The text reply that made me smile even more?

How about tomorrow night, 8:30?

FUCK, YES.

It was on. I had trouble focusing at work if I let my mind wander for even a few seconds. But it was all good. Continue reading

The beauty of an honest f*ck buddy.

If you don’t know the history of Jake, you may want to read his back story (and as a sidebar, if any of you know how to get the results of a Tag search to come up oldest to newest, please let me know!).

He and I are both seeking similar things – an exclusive, very sexual, intellectual relationship. One where perhaps the occasional additional pleasure will be sought out with others, but always together.

While relationship may be too strong a word to describe what Jake and I have, it’s one of the most honest and open I’ve ever had.

He’s never tried to hide from me that he’s dating others, nor has he been too open with information I don’t want. He’s told me the nature of his interactions without being specific. For example, when we were both on POF, he said he was sometimes on there late on night when he was bored (honest!) or when he gets a message. He knows I could see when he was online or last online, so instead of leaving me wondering he told me head on. Continue reading

We made our own BBC party.

Lewis and I hadn’t seen each other for a few weeks – mostly due to my vacation schedule. Unless I’m willing to see someone when I have Liam, I’m on a two week cycle. And sex with Lewis is rather, ahem, vigorous.

I wrote my last post while waiting for him to come over. It was a mostly typical Lewis encounter that night. We have a drink, talk about work (this time there wasn’t much talking), we go upstairs, undress, but of foreplay, he pounds away forever, we talk more, he goes home.

In some ways it was a bit different.

I greeted him at the door naked except for lace panties, with his drink in my hand. Hence why the shop talk was cut short.  Continue reading

Oh Drew, the truth isn’t much better.

I haven’t written about Drew much because I haven’t seen him much. After our hot couch session, almost three weeks went by before I saw him again. He kept up a decent communication pace with me, checking in most days. But he is in a similar industry to Tony and therefore, rarely knows his schedule in advance. It’s frustrating but at least I understand it.

One day we were texting back and forth – the same weekend I was preparing myself for Kyle’s penultimate cancellation – and talking about some tentative plans to see a sports event. I told him while I didn’t expect him to sleep over if he was uncomfortable, he was more than welcome. It would mean he didn’t have to drive an hour home that night, or try to arrange something with a friend.

He said thank you, and followed with “you and I both know what this is.” Continue reading

i fucked a lot of guys this week

My busy week | Thurs Lewis & Fri Jake

Monday | Tuesday & Wednesday

Thursday was Lewis’s. The week prior we went to a formal event together (which was awesome) and he came over to my place afterwards to let off the sexual tension building all night. Before he left, we agreed to meet this past Thursday. He also promised to take me dancing at some point this summer and I hope that can happen. I would love to be on a darkened dance floor with him.

Thursday was just going to be the two of us, but at some point during the day when my phone pinged with a new text message I looked down to see: “Clark said he’s free too…”

Gulp. Continue reading

stand up interracial sex in my kitchen

A good kitchen f*ck

We hadn’t seen each other since the night of the fantastic MFM threesome.

He has been relatively silent and when I inquired as to the reason for his absence, he attributed it to busy weekends with his daughter and a busier than normal work schedule.

He said that last time and then disappeared completely, so I was somewhat skeptical. The difference this time is although on the surface he’s a man I could actually date, we are clearly only fucking each other, so it’s no issue for me to send a text here and there. I’m okay being an equal partner in moving things forward, when the result is getting laid by Lewis. Continue reading

A perfect relationship he always wanted

This is the relationship he always wanted.

I was driving this morning from my hotel to the airport to go home. I’m beyond exhausted, due to a late night rendezvous with a former blogger (the second post will come soon).

I love to drive – not in city traffic, but on winding tree-lined highways where I can exceed the speed limit, if there is one. I listen to music and sing along and think.

Despite my addled sleep deprived state, or perhaps because of it, I had a moment of clarity.

Tony finally has the relationship with me he always wanted. Continue reading