Cognitive biases are dangerous in dating.

Confirmation bias: The tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one’s existing beliefs or theories.

In other words, once we believe something to be true, we ignore evidence that contradicts said belief and focus on the evidence that does.

This can work in your favor if people think you’re good at your job, or you’re smart, or any other positive attribute. But there are downsides. Once someone has doubts about you, it is incredibly difficult for you to overcome them.

We all have these cognitive biases (there are so many!), and being aware of them is the first step to moving past them. Continue reading

flirting via text

The coffee date flirtatious follow-up

I bounced up my stairs and got my stuff together for work. We had an awesome text exchange throughout the day, and I think the best thing is to just share it verbatim. My texts are in Italics.

10:12am

It was a pleasure meeting you! (I really wanted to kiss you goodbye, BTW).

Think about the anticipation for our next date. I did and do too, BTW.

Oh indeed. And I’m glad to hear it!

11:20am

Now I wished I kissed you. Lol. Continue reading

Who is Ann St. Vincent, anyway?

I’ve been told a lot of nice things lately from people who read this blog. It’s often very flattering and honestly, I find it so interesting to see myself through others eyes.

A blogging friend made a comment to me a couple of weeks ago that surely there were things about me that I don’t write about, there were things I kept hidden. I had to think about that for a minute. Sure, I don’t talk much about the following:

The work I do and who I do it for. Why? First, while I love my work, I’m not sure it would be that amusing. Although I love Aussa’s workplace stories, so perhaps I will consider it. Second, although it’s keenly important to me, it’s not the focus of the journey I am on today. Third, the more I talk about what I do, the easier it is to figure out who I am in real life…which limits my ability to write with brutal honesty. Continue reading

When to give a guy a chance (Part 1)

My first day on a online dating site (in the “naughty” section) I get a “flirt” from a guy and he has a picture and his profile catches my eye because he has, like, an 8 pack and it includes a requisite cock shot and boy is that beautiful and big as well.  His profile says he loves to pleasure a woman, has a high sex drive, likes to take his time, cum many times each time and oh yeah he’s well endowed. And he doesn’t like quickies or one night stands. He’s close to my age and taller. Hmmm.

I respond to his smile and we start to email back and forth…something like this:

Me: “Sorry for not responding sooner…I was overwhelmed with messages and it was my first time on the site. I am looking for someone who can keep up with my voracious appetite so I am intrigued by your profile. Perhaps we can chat sometime?” (I’ve never done this before but figured that sounded good…).

Him: “I am sure I can handle your appetite, I always wake up with a massive hard on and go to bed with one as well. If you want to chat you can reach me at…” Continue reading