John, the other poet.

I’m not too sure what to do with John. If I’d been less busy the past 10 days, I could have written many posts about him already. There’s potential – but for what exactly, I haven’t figured out. Writing about it will help crystallize my thoughts.

Based on his profile, I wasn’t expecting much from our first date. We had a 98% match on OK Cupid, which was something. His opening message was solid and he had some very deep questions to ask me (“are you ready for love?”) which were surprising and I presumed demonstrated depth of character. Continue reading

flirting via text

The coffee date flirtatious follow-up

I bounced up my stairs and got my stuff together for work. We had an awesome text exchange throughout the day, and I think the best thing is to just share it verbatim. My texts are in Italics.

10:12am

It was a pleasure meeting you! (I really wanted to kiss you goodbye, BTW).

Think about the anticipation for our next date. I did and do too, BTW.

Oh indeed. And I’m glad to hear it!

11:20am

Now I wished I kissed you. Lol. Continue reading

The first date with Drew

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It wasn’t that he didn’t look like his pictures, but the way he was animated in real life was ever so slightly different. And when he opened his mouth in a big smile to greet me, I noticed he was missing a tooth.

I immediately thought of Ariel, and if you haven’t read that story, you should.

I also told myself not to be so bloody superficial and to just give it a chance. Off we went. Continue reading

our first dinner date

Kyle the tall man texts

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With the feedback I’d gotten from my friends, I was trying my hardest to not assume ‘s Kyle’s lack of confirmation 24 hours in advance meant anything. We had confirmed a date and a time, just not a place. I was fairly certain he was interested in meeting and he didn’t strike me as the type to just bail.

Maybe.

I was mildly irritated because it was helpful to be able to plan in the morning what the hell I was doing after work. But I realized the way to deal with it was to just go about my arrangements, knowing it wasn’t a big deal, and based on what I knew we weren’t likely to meet downtown where I worked anyway. So either way, I was going home after my personal training session. Continue reading

The texting dilemma

My experiences recently seem to have a similar theme – what amount of communication do I expect and how these expectations can get me into trouble.

I’ve had on and off blog conversations about this as I’ve explored various opinions and insights. There are a huge variation of opinions, but most tend to agree on the following:

  • Constant texting before you’ve met each other is a red flag. Meaning, every day, without much pause, throughout the day and night. Many of us don’t like this even later in a relationship (myself included).
  • Someone who challenges why you aren’t responding quickly enough is also not a good sign early on (and I don’t mean – “hey haven’t heard from you for three days, everything okay?”)

Continue reading

a good date, then uncertainty

A tall attempt to counteract my cynicism

I decided to try Bumble again in the midst of relative silence from Ian. Perhaps I judged the app too harshly last time. And I just wanted a distraction. I fully admitted to myself I wanted to seek out someone who captured my fancy and who was worthy of my attention.

My second experience was pretty much the same as the first. Although as if they heard my feedback, they adjusted the app so a man now has to also respond (the first time) within 24 hours. Ghosting is eliminated in the first exchange at least.

So after a couple of texts with a few men, the conversations dwindled. Nothing worth writing about. Continue reading

The fastest fuck ever.

After our first brief coffee date, which wasn’t a date as much as pre-screening, I explained to Sevag while I had Liam for longer than normal, perhaps we could find another time for coffee or a quick after work drink.

He was very keen to see me again. He told me he could still taste me on his mouth, and he liked it. That he was entirely distracted with thoughts of kissing me – and more.

We spoke again on the phone at night and had another nice long conversation that covered multiple topics. He was easy to talk to.

He sent romantic texts, speaking of how much he already missed me, how much we had in common, and how much potential he saw. Continue reading

That first coffee date…

Sevag’s first message on OK Cupid was thoughtful, honest, and customized for me. It was, frankly, as perfect as any opener could be:

“Yes we are a match 🙂 According to OK Cupid, 96%. Great! Your profile is very interesting and I would love to hear what changed or made you change for the last two years. Sounds like a conversation over a good bottle of red. 200k songs in your iTunes library? I thought I was a music fan, my library has only a couple of thousands 🙂 But I can tell we have the same taste and I would love to explore that. I must say I am excited (maybe I should hold my horses for the first message, but I am who I am) and I would love to know more about you. Sevag” Continue reading

My third first date in three nights; finally, a kiss.

I had three first dates three days in a row last week. The first was the Accountant, the second was the check box man, and the third was, well… Mr Fetlife. I’m not sure I want to give them names unless we go on a second date.

Mr Fetlife reached out to me on Fetlife (obviously) shortly after I reactivated my profile during my three week break from Tony. The Saturday morning where I thought life was once again full of rainbows and unicorns, and Tony was going to finally make the effort I needed, I went onto Fetlife, changed my profile status from “single” to “in a relationship”, and updated my description to state I wasn’t looking to play alone, but perhaps I would explore with my partner.

As you know by now, that was short lived. In that happy time span however, I had told Mr Fetlife I was now off them market. And then I humbly told him I was back on the market.

Mr Fetlife is single and kinky. He works in construction, is 6 feet tall, and swarthy. He’s had long term relationships but never been married. He’s polite, consistent, and funny. He has no kids. He’s looking for a relationship. Continue reading

What's old is new again 2 | Another chance to call a man out on his BS

I wrote about one of my first dates and how I got the opportunity to tell him he got no more access to my sexiness unless we were actually dating. It felt so awesome to write that message.

Some of you thought he would reach out. I knew he wouldn’t, and he hasn’t. So fucking telling, no?

But guess what?? It happened again. This guy I also wrote about – he went silent after some pretty hot phone sex.

He sent me a message on OK Cupid, and I responded politely. But after his second text I just had to say what was on my mind.  Continue reading