Meet the technician.

I need to get caught up here, because I don’t want to keep taking writing shortcuts. There are things going on in my head which I need to unpack – and sometimes it takes a whole post to do so. But I can’t do that if I haven’t introduced the situations or characters.

So.

I have closed my Bumble and Adult Friend Finder accounts. I’m not taking any new applicants for the time being. I met a couple of men from AFF, two who haven’t made it to the blog were good pre-clearance dates but nothing came of it. One went away for a week’s trip and I never heard from him upon his return. The other I told I wasn’t going to be able to make time for a second date any time soon.  Continue reading

Getting a little more of what I need a lot.

How’s that for a bad grammar title?

After the night of lasagne, massage, and quick-but-promising sex, Alan and I both agreed to see each other again.

I was a little torn on when to meet; the Friday we talked about, a family at my son’s school were having a fundraising party which is apparently a super fun time. But I also wanted to see Alan and it was the only night likely to work for him. I decided to stop by the party for an hour and meet him afterwards.

Perfect.

But then work exploded (the volcano is still spewing) and the last thing I wanted to do was go to a party. As it turned out, Alan’s work schedule shifted and he could no longer meet. I believed him, for what it’s worth. I worked late, went home, and worked from home even later.  Continue reading

Meet the tradesman.

Did you know “Boilermaker” is a real job, still? Yup.

And I’m dating one.

His nickname among my friends is “lasagne man”, because for our second date he suggested he come to my place and would bring a home-made lasagne. Yes!

He showed up with lasagne, flowers, and 2 types of jam made by his Mom. What’s not to love?

But let me start at the beginning. Continue reading

Meeting Drew.

I met Drew on Bumble the week before my vacation. Atypically, I swiped right even though all he had on his profile was his height (6’6″). In hindsight, I’m not sure why I swiped right – he has only two photos and neither show his face. I suppose it was a moment of weakness.

He responded quickly to my opening message and we texted about work and the heatwave our city was experiencing. He noticed the unicorn emoji in my profile and later asked if I was one. I told him he’d need to define it before I answered; and he mentioned poly relationships. He’d been in one before and said it was “fun”.

I told him I wasn’t poly and wasn’t interested in a relationship with more than one person. But I liked that he even knew what it was – it spoke of an openness I don’t often find. Continue reading

Doug the sailor, his wine, and his shag carpet

I didn’t want to delay meeting Doug (the sailor) because continuing a text and phone relationship before meeting face to face? We all know what can happen.

I’m in a very busy period of work right now, we are in the midst of technical deployments and coming up to a big deadline, so a Friday afternoon which was quiet was a perfect time. I took a half day vacation day and decided to meet Doug at the west end of our city where he docks his boat.

I had it all planned. Leave before my city’s notorious traffic kicked in, spend a couple hours with Doug, drive back into the Center of the city for dinner with a girlfriend at her place, then go home to meet Jake. Continue reading

not just a first date kiss but oral sex on my couch

A kiss shared with thousands | Part Two

Part One

After the game he took charge and knew exactly which direction he was taking me. We walked with the crowds and after a few minutes I asked where we were going.

He said since we hadn’t had dinner yet he thought we could get food. I was game.

We held hands the whole way. He took me to the neighborhood where he has his downtown flat. He chose a restaurant which happened to be a favorite of HWSNBN’s…. Shit. Continue reading

first date kiss sporting event

A kiss shared with thousands | my first date with Ian

Ian from the beginningPrevious Post

He paid for dinner, and we went to the game. He didn’t lead me by the hand but was mindful of where I was in relation to him, as we threaded our way through the crowd.

He knew a few people we passed on the way, working the event. He stopped to chat with each of them and introduced me as his “friend Ann”. It was nice to get the opportunity to see how he interacted with other humans. He was polite and kind and just a touch awkward – not knowing how to close off a conversation seamlessly to let them let back to work.

I found it endearing and real. Continue reading

That magical and frightening time after a great first date

A warning to everyone – I’m writing this in the heat of the moment.

I wrote about Ian and our chance meeting on Bumble, and then my largely unwarranted concerns about his communication pace. He and I have had more phone calls than I would normally want prior to a first date, but it was 10 days from first contact to being able to meet.

We set a date to meet and the specifics were in his hands. I called him on Monday – forget this texting bullshit – to sort out general timing. Tuesday afternoon he confirmed where and when I was to meet him. Continue reading

When everything is great, except that one thing.

Art reached out to me on OK Cupid. We were a 97% match – and as I’ve written before, that means something. It is not the fake “matches” you get on Plenty of Fish which are the people who messaged you and who you viewed. These are based on questions you answer (in my case, over 1,400).

He seemed cute in a nerdy way. His profile – not surprisingly, given our match percentage – appealed to me. He was open about the stage he was at and refreshingly honest. His messages were lucid, funny, and flirty.

We moved to text and it continued to be good. There was friendly and witty banter. He asked me whether he’d been nicknamed yet (how does he know women do that?!) and where he lined up in my set of suitors. He told me my honesty was refreshing, but his was as well. He liked my answers to the sex questions on OKC. He was intellectual.

He was keen and interested. Sweetly so.  Continue reading

Kissing in the rain | Another first date story (part 2)

[Part One]

Coming out of the bathroom and picking up my phone, I’m saying to myself “PLEASE HAVE TEXTED ME” and “ANN DON’T GET LIKE THIS” at the exact same time. I unlock my phone and I see he’s sent me a text:

rain 1

I do a little dance around my bedroom. I practically squeal “OMG HE’S NOT A BAD TEXTER!!” Continue reading