Two steps forward and one step back.

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I had some decisions to make. Did I believe him? Mostly. I knew there was a chance he was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear, but seeing how uncomfortable he was, and the way he told me, led me to believe there was far more truth to his words than lies.

I didn’t write it all out, but I did challenge him on a number of things during our conversation. The most important for me was how it was possible he didn’t feel comfortable with me, given how open I’d been with him about my own sexuality.

Continue reading

Period sex, exclusivity, and a boyfriend.

I’m writing this on my phone, on the beach on the sun, whilst Leo is playing beach volleyball 100 metres  away. Apologies for any mistakes…I will fix them when I’m at my computer again.

We are on Day 3 of 5. It’s been very nice so far.

My body failed me and decided to start my period the first day of our trip. I knew there would be some overlap but was expecting it to be wrapping up by the start. Leo said he didn’t care, thank goodness. But menstrual cramps and having to jump to the bathroom to take out a tampon as a man starts to put his hands down your pants is super annoying. Continue reading

Leo and I are going places.

The only thing I’m going to say about Tony is I haven’t heard from him, and it’s okay.

Leo has been a consistent presence since I broke my leg mid-December. He is mercifully drama-free. My only emotional hiccup so far was feeling somewhat bereft of attention last month, which led to nothing more than some flirty texts and a single romp in my bed with Clark.

No, Leo and I haven’t had an exclusivity discussion. I’ve been putting it off, and he seems perfectly content. Continue reading

When the inevitable happens.

My last two months has been unusual. A broken leg, being in a cast, mostly house-bound is not what I’m used to.

Before Leo came to see me in the hospital, I hadn’t seen him for six weeks. We’d had three dates and then things went quiet as I dealt with the realization I hadn’t fully detached from Tony. I was crazy busy with work.

I needed some emotional and physical space.

Since my injury, while friends have been visiting, my child has been with me every other week, and I’ve been working at home, my life isn’t the same. It occurred to me, perhaps my situation is heightening my feelings for Leo.  Continue reading

I’m conflicted between calm and needing excitement.

The hot: Our last (and second) overnight date saw Leo continue our fisting adventure, this time adding double penetration with his hands and the Hitachi, for long enough at times I almost saw stars.

I could kiss him for hours.

The sweet: Every time he woke up that night, he wrapped me in his arms. He would nuzzle the back of my neck. He gives me bear hugs and tells me how good I feel.

He sends sweet memes.

The work-in-progress: He’s working on his weight loss. A good start, but a long way to go. It’s had an impact on his – ahem – ability to perform. It’s clearly not a deal-breaker for me at this point. Continue reading

An uncomfortable conversation with Alan.

I will apologize again for my current need to write – and edit – posts on my phone. The app does a shit job of linking to past posts (so I don’t bother), I can’t see the flow of the post, it takes forever to write, etc.

Normally I go back a few days later to clean things up; I just haven’t had the chance yet. My home computer decided it was tired of connecting to the internet.

On to Alan. Continue reading

Not looking for a relationship, but will make an exception for the right person.

How often have you seen that statement in an online dating profile? Do you tell yourself you’ll make an exception for the right person, should they come along? That you only want casual encounters but are open to something more if you meet someone worthwhile, or the one?

If I think of my own history, the men I’ve dated while I was clearly (now) not emotionally available for a relationship – Johnny Id, Fox, HWSNBN, most significantly – they weren’t the right men for me anyway.

Or were they? Continue reading

No, Leo, I’m not your girlfriend.

To read about my first and second dates with Leo the technician, follow this link.

We had our third date this past weekend. He arrived early – traffic wasn’t as bad as he’d thought – and I opened my door to him in a bathrobe, wet hair, and a towel. He was all over me and I before too long I was naked on my bed, moaning as he worked his magic.

One reason I like bigger guys is I feel small. I love the feeling of being enveloped by a man. Preferably one with a fuzzy chest and strong arms. Between orgasms, I coiled my fingers in Leo’s grey chest hair and enjoyed the stillness with someone who was all kinds of available to me. I was calm and comfortable.

Half groaning and laughing, he told me I felt amazing in his arms. He couldn’t keep his hands off of me. He said “Ann, you are sexy as FUCK. I don’t know whether to kiss you, hug you, or bite you.”

“Yes to all, please,” I replied. Continue reading

A perfect relationship he always wanted

This is the relationship he always wanted.

I was driving this morning from my hotel to the airport to go home. I’m beyond exhausted, due to a late night rendezvous with a former blogger (the second post will come soon).

I love to drive – not in city traffic, but on winding tree-lined highways where I can exceed the speed limit, if there is one. I listen to music and sing along and think.

Despite my addled sleep deprived state, or perhaps because of it, I had a moment of clarity.

Tony finally has the relationship with me he always wanted. Continue reading

My fiery Aries and me

Sevag and I first communicated on OK Cupid on Saturday, we had an hour long phone conversation on Sunday, met for a coffee date and kiss on Tuesday, had another hour long phone call on Tuesday night, had a drink and amazing sex on Thursday, he came over late on Friday for an overnight and didn’t leave until noon the next morning.

Sunday night he came over late and didn’t leave until 1am. We did nothing but talk and kiss. It was a pretty magical time. He is passionate and romantic and says such lovely things.

The OK Cupid statistics are proving correct; we see eye to eye on most things. Everything from attitudes on relationships to religion (although that’s our lowest match category) and life in general. Continue reading