I haven’t been writing much about Tony these last many weeks, mostly because there isn’t much to say. I blocked him for a while to help myself break old patterns, then when I unblocked him he started calling.
I answered the phone when he called, and found our conversations frustrating – not because of anything he did wrong. I couldn’t find a happy medium where I could be his friend in a way meaningful to me. If he told me anything about the crap in his marriage, I would get (internally) frustrated because I thought he should be trying. Conversely, if he said something was going well, it hurt.
And bottom line is, despite all of his failings, he’s doing stuff with his again-wife and child that I wanted the opportunity to do. Continue reading →
I’m sure most of the women reading this are saying “yeah, bikini? so?”.
Let me rephrase: I bought my first bikini EVER.
Yes. I haven’t worn a bikini since I was a toddler.
I haven’t talked much about my past weight struggles on this blog. While I was never obese (well, I was according to BMI) my weight always fluctuated. When I was 14 I was 5’10” and 140 pounds…I had that long leggy look I wish I still had (Taylor Swift is that weight, for what it’s worth).
But then puberty did its thing with my hips and my relationships with men dictated whether I was heavier or lighter. I had a tendency to eat like they did and of course it didn’t work for my metabolism. At my heaviest in high school, I was the same weight I am today. Continue reading →