Coming back to life.

There’s been enough drama with Leo that I haven’t written about my injury and recovery lately.

The combination of a broken bone and extensive ligament damage means it’s been a long haul. Over two months in a non weight-bearing cast, then a month in a walking boot. I have a plate and several screws in my leg and I have a beautiful 5″ scar on the outside of my ankle.

I still walk with pain and with a limp, and because of that limp I have pain in my tailbone, which fucking sucks. My ankle and foot remain swollen and it could be the same for many more months. I’ve just been diagnosed with needing two months of physiotherapy, 3-5 times a week. How I’m going to find time for that I have no idea. Continue reading

plenty of shit has me depressed

I’m trying to avoid being buried by the bullshit

I know I’ve not written at my usual pace. It’s not that I don’t have posts swirling around in my head. There are far too many words to write.

I am working on the next post about Ian. It’s a doozy. But I needed to step away from that to just dump the other shit I’m dealing with out on a page.

First shit? Will, my ex-husband.

He wanted to move to the other side of the world again. Some of you may remember he moved away a year after he and I split up and was gone for ten months, leaving me as a single parent to an angry little boy. It was during that time I met Tony. Continue reading

Saturday melancholy.

Yup, while I’m working on thinking about what I’m thankful for this week, right now I just feel…a whole lot of nothing.

Good things:

  • The morning I chose to go to work a bit late, so instead of jumping out of bed first thing, cuddling with my son and reading a book together.
  • Laughing until I cried with one of my employees, about something I can’t even remember anymore.
  • Giving an amazing presentation on the strategy for my new department.
  • Being told I was “smart and hot”.
  • Enjoying the delight and anticipation a friend is feeling about a potential new lover.
  • Reaching 500 followers on this here blog.
  • Having a few close friends proactively reach out to make sure I am okay.
  • Hanging out in the schoolyard on Friday with other parents while my son was at a sports practice, and getting the guts up to ask a fellow single parent whether he contacted my friend Katharine after they hooked up (yes, I knew he didn’t…and I enjoyed on her behalf listening to him try to explain why).
  • Thinking my furnace was broken, but it’s producing heat at the moment. Okay, that’s perhaps a stretch, but not adding to my list of things to do is a really good thing.

Continue reading

The burden of weight and emotions

For the last two years, everything in my closet has fit or been too big.

I’ve kept the local tailor solvent by bringing so many things to be taken in or altered. It has felt great. Of course the extra 7 lbs I lost a year ago when I had food poisoning was an added bonus.

I joked that the weight gain was lack of sex. It was also most certainly a reduction of the hours I spent in the gym. Whatever it was, I gained that 7 back. No biggie…I knew when my routine returned it would come back off.

But going off the pill has been the tipping point. Continue reading