What's old is new again 3 | When sexual dysfunction means you bail

I saw the Cook online earlier this week and confess to saying to myself “oh you’re single again are you? That’s karma you fucking jerk.”

I’m usually more gracious, but given the history, not so much. I wasn’t following my dating rules then. I suppose I should have known better. It was too bad – he’s one of the ones where I think if I’d approached dating him a little differently, perhaps there would have been a different outcome.

But of course, another man from my past showed up, this time on OK Cupid. I never wrote about him but he is #41 on my Men I’ve Slept With list.

I guess I don’t harbour as much resentment toward him as I’m pretty sure he was mortified he couldn’t keep it up and that’s why he never contacted me again. Continue reading

What's old is new again 2 | Another chance to call a man out on his BS

I wrote about one of my first dates and how I got the opportunity to tell him he got no more access to my sexiness unless we were actually dating. It felt so awesome to write that message.

Some of you thought he would reach out. I knew he wouldn’t, and he hasn’t. So fucking telling, no?

But guess what?? It happened again. This guy I also wrote about – he went silent after some pretty hot phone sex.

He sent me a message on OK Cupid, and I responded politely. But after his second text I just had to say what was on my mind.  Continue reading

What's old is new again | My first date appears on OKCupid

The rain pours down and I can’t help but be reminded of the last time Tony was in my bed, passionately soaking the sheets with my favourite sound in the background. I miss him. But I don’t regret my decision.

To gain some levity, I need to share one of the funny things that happened to me since I reactivated my OK Cupid profile yesterday. This guy was the first date I went on after my split – way back in August 2013. We met at a bar near my office tower, had a great conversation, went back to his place where we fucked (unprotected, I think) and he made me squirt. It was hot.

There was no second date, however. He gave me the oft-repeated line of being busy with work and had personal shit to sort out. I saw him again online months later and we reconnected online…then he gave me a brilliant rejection which I wrote about. Continue reading

I turned down great sex today. What's wrong with me?

I’m working at home today – had the Friday morning school dropoff and a few calls and that was it. I also needed to wash and dry what feels like an endless amount of winter gear.

Jason knows I sometimes work from home on Fridays. Last night he sent me a saucy text message (he’s been in pretty constant contact these days, unlike someone we know) and joked he was just going to come on over and give me a good seeing too.

Wow, was I tempted. Sorely tempted. I haven’t had sex in almost three weeks. Now, I’m not out of my skin with desire, but I could use a good fucking.

Combine that with the thought that my relationship with Tony is surely about to end, and I confess I did consider taking Jason up on his offer. Especially if he just showed up at my door, I thought about what I would do. Continue reading

Some of the best sex ever, from an dating profile exaggerator

This is still one of my favourite dating stories. While we all know some people exaggerate on their online dating profiles, this was the first time I experienced it myself.

When the guy showed up and looked NOTHING like his pictures, I reminded myself that his personality was constant and some physical parts don’t change all that much 😉

So I gave him a chance and it was the craziest and best first date sex I’d ever had and likely ever will.

When to give a guy a chance | Part One

When to give a guy a chance | Part Two

An early introduction to lying in dating | Getting "catfished"

I just re-read this post and it still makes me laugh. Even in my early dating days, I knew that something that seemed too good to be true probably was. I also knew that 99% of people have smartphones that can take pictures and that there’s only so long someone can promise to be in your city before you know they are bullshitting you.

I never found out what this guy was really like. Pretty sure he’s a gross elderly obese man who gets off on the pictures women send him. That’s my only regret with this one – I sent the guy a bunch of very revealing pictures (never with my face) of a sort I’d never sent before. The thought that he’s still getting off on them just creeps me out. Yuck.

Live and learn.

Hook Line & Busted | My Catfish Experience

I'm starting to think casual sex with no expectations is the way to go.

If you haven’t read my most recent posts on Andrew, you can visit Part One and Part Two. Then how I pulled my head out of my ass (figuratively).

Sometimes time does tell you something, even if it doles out the knowledge piece by piece.

Monday afternoon Andrew had said he would call me later. When later came, he said he would have to call me on Tuesday as he was working and even had to take his son to his ex-wife’s place. My last email to him was at 8pm and I offered that he could come by for a glass of wine when he was finished, if he was up for it. Continue reading

I feel terribly unsettled when I should be excited (Part 2)

Please read Part One first.

I slept well, until I woke up. At six-fucking-thirty. Andrew was fast sleep in my bed, not stirring. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I checked my phone. I contemplated getting up and writing in bed, since my head was swirling with the thoughts I wrote about in Part One.

At 7:30, he stirred and asked how long I’d been up. I told him an hour. He went back to sleep. I finally managed to stop the brain train and fell asleep for fifteen minutes.

We both woke up shortly after. I waited to see if he would pull me into him, like he has all the times previous. I simultaneously hated that I was now playing a game. He did, of course; wrapping one arm around me with a firm hand on my breast. Continue reading

I feel terribly unsettled when I should be excited (Part 1)

I was going to write more about Faraway Lover today, but some things have happened with Andrew that leave me, well, unsettled.

He was nice enough to pick me up from the airport when I arrived home (yes, for those of you keeping track – he dropped me off AND picked me up). To make sure he wasn’t just being nice, I gave him a couple of “outs” prior to the actual date. He didn’t bite, so it was a plan. We agreed he would sleep over at my place, and have the morning together as well.

While I was away we spoke almost every single night – Skyped, to be specific. He doesn’t like to text so each day there were only a couple of text messages here and there, but one day I didn’t hear from him all day until I texted him late in the evening. He’s a real estate agent so I know he’s often running around and on the road, but still. Continue reading

P's Shenanigans | Volume 4

Click here for Volume 1, Volume 2, and Volume 3.

The next day, I decided I wanted to get exact clarity. Sometimes, I’m a glutton for punishment. I push things and ask questions even when they may hurt. But in this case, I think I needed to see the words on the page so I could make a decision about what I wanted.

  • Me: Are you okay with planning dates or do you only want spontaneity? Or no dates the all, just hooking up?
  • Him: Just hooking up, maybe a date here and there
  • Me: Well that pretty much reduces me to a “sex girl” for you then….even if you don’t feel that way, that’s what the result will be. So, I’m clear now on both the theory and practice of what you want. If I want to hook up I will be in touch. Continue reading