A personal moral compass.

With all the recent judgment here – I don’t deserve Leo, it’s always wrong to lie to save someone’s feelings, how dare I play a game with him while I have lingering feelings for another, etcetera – it got me thinking about my moral compass. I don’t think I’m unique in an ability to justify my behaviors and choices. And in some cases, we believe we would never do “that thing” until we find ourselves in a similar situation.

Having a blog is a great way to keep oneself honest, assuming one is honest in the first place.

My Tony posts from a year ago spoke about my unwillingness to engage physically with him if he’s being intimate with his again-wife. Well, as was obvious from my subsequent actions, my need to say goodbye in my way, and my love for him, trumped any moral challenge with being in what at that point amounted to an affair. Continue reading

I know what the right decision is, I’m just not sure how to make it.

Yesterday I wrote about Tony and how I know I can’t pursue a relationship with him when he’s not ready to love me

That’s all good in theory, but for this to work I have to make it practically applicable.

I’ve tried no-contact. I didn’t last very long. A few weeks each time, and then I was back in his arms. He seems quite fine with seeing me once every three weeks, but that is not the kind of relationship I want to have.

Let’s pretend for a moment that Fox wasn’t in my life. What would I do? Continue reading