He is my protector and I am his muse

I’m filled with words but they’ve stayed in my head so far. They are no good to anyone there. The inability to talk about the aftermath of a relationship gone wrong is very difficult. To be clear, I’m able to write, but I promised I wouldn’t. It’s the first time I ever agreed to be muzzled but when I fear for my reputation and my safety, it wasn’t a hill I was going to die on.

There’s a lot more to talk about than Tony, but right now I want to talk about him.

I’ve seen a lot of him lately. On a particularly difficult night, after receiving some threats I texted and called him and asked if I could stay with him. I thought I’d be fine, but alone in my house late at night, I realized I wasn’t. Continue reading

Interpreting Tony, and what to do when the fish is caught.

I love the comments I get on this blog, especially the Tony posts. I guess I know I’m committed to honesty when I still write stuff which I know will result in a collective groan.

What I find interesting is how we can have such different interpretations of the same situation or dialogue.

Our frame of reference dictates so much of how we interpret things, and unless we deliberately force ourselves into a different perspective we will all be naturally biased.

This is why I love analysis and different opinions. I can look at the situation and dialogue with Tony and see it from multiple perspectives. Sure, I can drive myself crazy this way, but usually it helps me see things differently than I might otherwise. Continue reading