i didn't hesitate to tell Tony all my grievances

The wrath of Ann

Previous Post

I have chronic shoulder and neck pain; have probably never mentioned it. It’s stress and posture related, and I was in agony that night. I opened a bottle of prosecco with a goal of getting a little drunk before he showed up. Feeling dramatic, I chose to make the cocktails we had on our first date. Prosecco, ginger liqueur, and orange curaçao. Gorgeous drink. It hurt emotionally to make it.

I wanted all the pain and anger to wash over me. I hadn’t ever really let it all out, I always let Tony’s intentions limit my responses to his actions. In other words, I’ve always told myself since he didn’t intend to hurt me, I could get over it. I have been ultra understanding and kind, this whole time.

But it would be the same thing as me saying HWSNBN’s behavior was okay because he loved me desperately. And I certainly didn’t allow it in that case. Continue reading

suspected more deceit from Tony

That infectious little thing called doubt

If I try to hammer out 1,000 word posts (my usual) and not have any cliffhangers I think my head will explode. I’ll have too much building up in my brain without writing it down. The only way I’ll be able to update on Ian / Tony / new first date guy is to just write in smaller chunks based on the time I have.

First to deal with is Tony.

Prior to seeing him yesterday, it had been 2.5 weeks prior. We were supposed to meet the night he ended up being hospitalized. A few days later he came over and I remember feeling that something was just… off.

I’m learning through all these dating experiences that I pick up on far more signals than I am aware of; however knowing what they mean is the key.

Continue reading

Interpreting Tony, and what to do when the fish is caught.

I love the comments I get on this blog, especially the Tony posts. I guess I know I’m committed to honesty when I still write stuff which I know will result in a collective groan.

What I find interesting is how we can have such different interpretations of the same situation or dialogue.

Our frame of reference dictates so much of how we interpret things, and unless we deliberately force ourselves into a different perspective we will all be naturally biased.

This is why I love analysis and different opinions. I can look at the situation and dialogue with Tony and see it from multiple perspectives. Sure, I can drive myself crazy this way, but usually it helps me see things differently than I might otherwise. Continue reading