Apparently I'm a dried up divorcee c*nt

There’s a first time for everything I guess.  One night, I’m on the naughty section of the one dating site, and I see an email come in.  Profile name is “TallHotDoctor”.  Okay, cool.  The message subject and body is the same:

Can you cum over now so I can fuck you nice and hard? : )

Um, no. I looked at his profile and it said he was 31 years old, and a Doctor with not 1 but 2! plastic surgery practices.  Riiiggghhhtttt.  But I was raised right and I don’t think it’s nice to ignore people so the next email exchange went like this:


So now I’m remembering all those pranks I heard about as a kid, ordering pizza to a friend’s house.  This now sort of felt like that.  I figured there’s some poor guy named Bill having his stag party, or a dickhead named Bill who this guy wants to get in serious trouble with Bill’s wife.  So I ignored the follow-up message.  THEN…I get an instant message almost spontaneously in two sections of the site.  Basically saying come over and fuck me.  Again gives me his address.  So now I’m having a wee bit of fun so I respond back with a comment that given one of his profiles says he wants a relationship and the other, casual sex, that it didn’t feel like he was genuine.  He says goddamnit it’s all me just come over and fuck me.  I say, I’m sorry but I’m not just coming over and it’s highly unusual for someone to just give their address so quickly.  Then the clincher – feeling very clever – I say “but I’d be happy to send you a pizza if you like“.

I wasn’t prepared for the next texts:

>> just shut up and come over you divorced blonde cung

>> cunt

I thought it was nice of him to correct his spelling.  In case I thought “cung” was a compliment. I fired back “fuck you, that’s just impolite”.  Then the clincher:

>> you act like your 18 years old your just a divorcee used up with kids old bag quit acting like your hot shit

Wow.  So, after laughing out loud – I mean, he thinks I have multiple kids? I just have one! – I blocked and reported him.  His profiles were gone the next day.

Hook, Line, and Busted! Or, my Catfish experience

This one is a bit hard to write about because I got mad even though my gut knew exactly what the deal was…way before my brain was willing to admit it.  Please don’t do too much psychoanalysis on me on this one…

Here goes.  Remember The Traveler? He is featured in:

I guess the benefit of writing a blog is that I KNOW FOR SURE that I knew what was going on…since in one post in September I wrote “On the extreme other side, perhaps he is some old fat guy using a hot guy’s photos…no intention to actually meet in person but instead is totally duplicitous.  I suppose it’s possible.”
Continue reading