When the inevitable happens.

My last two months has been unusual. A broken leg, being in a cast, mostly house-bound is not what I’m used to.

Before Leo came to see me in the hospital, I hadn’t seen him for six weeks. We’d had three dates and then things went quiet as I dealt with the realization I hadn’t fully detached from Tony. I was crazy busy with work.

I needed some emotional and physical space.

Since my injury, while friends have been visiting, my child has been with me every other week, and I’ve been working at home, my life isn’t the same. It occurred to me, perhaps my situation is heightening my feelings for Leo.  Continue reading

I’m conflicted between calm and needing excitement.

The hot: Our last (and second) overnight date saw Leo continue our fisting adventure, this time adding double penetration with his hands and the Hitachi, for long enough at times I almost saw stars.

I could kiss him for hours.

The sweet: Every time he woke up that night, he wrapped me in his arms. He would nuzzle the back of my neck. He gives me bear hugs and tells me how good I feel.

He sends sweet memes.

The work-in-progress: He’s working on his weight loss. A good start, but a long way to go. It’s had an impact on his – ahem – ability to perform. It’s clearly not a deal-breaker for me at this point. Continue reading

It’s hard to break up with a man when he’s being nice to you.

So, Alan.

He had been so insistent about coming to visit me and wanting to take care of me for a couple of days, I didn’t feel comfortable saying no. But I knew things weren’t going to continue as they had.

The prior several weeks I’d realized no men got me emotionally excited, and I started to feel perhaps I would be fine just letting him go.  Continue reading

Alan’s near demise

I’ve finally cured myself of my tendency to over-think everything. While I’ve had plenty male experiences to keep my mind occupied in the last few months, one thing I haven’t done is go down any rabbit holes of what-could-be and what-if.

It’s rather refreshing, frankly.

With Alan, while there were some things that concerned me about our potential compatibility, I decided to just let things play out. And play out, they have. Continue reading

An uncomfortable conversation with Alan.

I will apologize again for my current need to write – and edit – posts on my phone. The app does a shit job of linking to past posts (so I don’t bother), I can’t see the flow of the post, it takes forever to write, etc.

Normally I go back a few days later to clean things up; I just haven’t had the chance yet. My home computer decided it was tired of connecting to the internet.

On to Alan. Continue reading

Alan breaks the 5-minute barrier by a long shot

While I’m doing a great job not getting ahead of myself with Alan – or writing him off too fast – I will admit I was a wee bit worried sex with him was going to be unsatisfying.

While I’m hardly the model of athleticism (despite some new muscles gained from 6 months of twice-weekly visits to my trainer) I can fuck like a demon. I can only think of a few men who made me beg for no more sex. And that includes a fair number much younger than I.

If sex had prizes, I’m told I would win “best rider” and “most insatiable”. I have no idea whether the men who said it were genuine, and I don’t particularly care. I mention it only to demonstrate that despite any extra padding around my middle and my ass, I’m a champion fucker. Continue reading

Getting a little more of what I need a lot.

How’s that for a bad grammar title?

After the night of lasagne, massage, and quick-but-promising sex, Alan and I both agreed to see each other again.

I was a little torn on when to meet; the Friday we talked about, a family at my son’s school were having a fundraising party which is apparently a super fun time. But I also wanted to see Alan and it was the only night likely to work for him. I decided to stop by the party for an hour and meet him afterwards.

Perfect.

But then work exploded (the volcano is still spewing) and the last thing I wanted to do was go to a party. As it turned out, Alan’s work schedule shifted and he could no longer meet. I believed him, for what it’s worth. I worked late, went home, and worked from home even later.  Continue reading

The only answer to “can I cook for you? Is YES.

I introduced you to Alan the Boilermaker in my previous post. After our first date, which ended in a delightful-yet-public kiss on the  sidewalk in front of my house, Alan proved to be a consistent and flirty communicator.


Continue reading

Meet the tradesman.

Did you know “Boilermaker” is a real job, still? Yup.

And I’m dating one.

His nickname among my friends is “lasagne man”, because for our second date he suggested he come to my place and would bring a home-made lasagne. Yes!

He showed up with lasagne, flowers, and 2 types of jam made by his Mom. What’s not to love?

But let me start at the beginning. Continue reading

The beauty of an honest f*ck buddy.

If you don’t know the history of Jake, you may want to read his back story (and as a sidebar, if any of you know how to get the results of a Tag search to come up oldest to newest, please let me know!).

He and I are both seeking similar things – an exclusive, very sexual, intellectual relationship. One where perhaps the occasional additional pleasure will be sought out with others, but always together.

While relationship may be too strong a word to describe what Jake and I have, it’s one of the most honest and open I’ve ever had.

He’s never tried to hide from me that he’s dating others, nor has he been too open with information I don’t want. He’s told me the nature of his interactions without being specific. For example, when we were both on POF, he said he was sometimes on there late on night when he was bored (honest!) or when he gets a message. He knows I could see when he was online or last online, so instead of leaving me wondering he told me head on. Continue reading