When my irritation level runs high.

I have an unfinished draft about a crazy-good threesome but need to get the next update with Leo out.

He joined me for two nights at the tail end of a business trip to the East Coast. It was one month since Leo’s “give me another chance” conversation, and I knew it was a chance to see if anything had really changed in that time.

Leo had been slightly more communicative – meaning he whispered a few more things in my ear during sex – but other than a couple successful drug-free sexual encounters, things were essentially the same as before. Continue reading

Oh Drew, the truth isn’t much better.

I haven’t written about Drew much because I haven’t seen him much. After our hot couch session, almost three weeks went by before I saw him again. He kept up a decent communication pace with me, checking in most days. But he is in a similar industry to Tony and therefore, rarely knows his schedule in advance. It’s frustrating but at least I understand it.

One day we were texting back and forth – the same weekend I was preparing myself for Kyle’s penultimate cancellation – and talking about some tentative plans to see a sports event. I told him while I didn’t expect him to sleep over if he was uncomfortable, he was more than welcome. It would mean he didn’t have to drive an hour home that night, or try to arrange something with a friend.

He said thank you, and followed with “you and I both know what this is.” Continue reading

Getting over Tony, relationships, and my continuing sexual journey.

I know some of my recent posts may have left you confused. I figure if some of you said it, more of you felt it. This was further compounded by my trying to get up to current date quickly; I didn’t spend as much time writing about my headspace…and taking short cuts usually doesn’t work.

I’ve had enough questions about what I really want, why I’m not just pursuing casual sex, am I ready for a relationship, etcetera, to think I should try to clarify how I feel about all of this.

Here are some of the most common questions:

Shouldn’t I give myself time to heal before dating again? Continue reading

What's old is new again 2 | Another chance to call a man out on his BS

I wrote about one of my first dates and how I got the opportunity to tell him he got no more access to my sexiness unless we were actually dating. It felt so awesome to write that message.

Some of you thought he would reach out. I knew he wouldn’t, and he hasn’t. So fucking telling, no?

But guess what?? It happened again. This guy I also wrote about – he went silent after some pretty hot phone sex.

He sent me a message on OK Cupid, and I responded politely. But after his second text I just had to say what was on my mind.  Continue reading

My well rounded second first date 

My second date in two nights was with a man I met on Plenty of Fish. He fit my dating rules and after some exchanges on the site, we moved to text. Within a couple of days he asked if I wanted to meet him for a drink, and we were both free the next day.

Like the Accountant, this guy is a quality dude. He’s been divorced for several years, has worked his way through short-term flings and longer relationships, tried long distance, realised he wasn’t emotionally ready, took time for himself and also to focus on his teenaged children.

He’s exactly my height, which isn’t my preference but it’s way less important to me at this point. He’s attractive, even if he’s not the type to stop me dead in my tracks. He could carry a conversation. He had a sparkle in his eye. In stark contrast to the topics with the accountant, we started off talking mostly about relationships, horror stories, and what we wanted. Continue reading

When Don Draper and I share a moment

People tell you who they are but we ignore it. We want them to be who we want them to be. ~ Don Draper, Mad Men

I’m at home, after being away for an overnight trip with my Mom, one of her closest friends, and her daughter. We’ve done the same trip annually for 33 years – always to see a show. It’s a weekend of talking, shopping, theatre (usually a musical), more talking, and overall good times. Tony was a topic of much conversation this weekend.

The show was a Friday matinee; I took the day off work.

I hadn’t heard anything from Tony since Thursday mid-afternoon. 

With the first song of the show, I started crying. If there were 20 songs, I cried during 17. Good music has always affected me strongly, and there are some songs which will always make me cry (especially if I’m singing them), but this was unusual for me. Continue reading