Six weeks of personal training

Sometimes I feel like my weight and fitness level is the remaining area of my life where I don’t have a good handle on things. I think I can write that here without eye rolling or backlash, because hopefully any of you who’ve read more than a handful of my posts know I believe I can always progress further in everything. I never sit back and say “wow hey I’m all that and anyone should be lucky to have me.” I’m not egotistical. Yuck.

I guess said another way, I’m confident about having my shit together with work and career, parenting (most days), friendships, money… so many of the things by which we tend to measure life success. I also think I can improve on those fronts. But while I am confident about how I look most days (biologically gifted with height, a decently pleasing countenance, and hair my stylist reminds me every time I see her that people pay literally hundreds of dollars to achieve), I’m not as fit as I should be. I’d like to weigh about 15 lbs less, and have a smoother ass.

As much as I have come to love my body in the last few years, its ability to feel pleasure from so many things other women struggle with (orgasms every which way – yay!), and the pleasure it gives to others… I want to be fitter. Continue reading

I was afraid she'd be hotter and younger

Statistically, not every woman can be hotter than me.

I’m going to write about the foursome I just experienced. But I want to first talk about some of the feelings and insecurity I had before it became a reality.

Today, I’m pretty confident both mentally and physically. The physical confidence has been a latecomer. In the last couple of years I’ve begun to embrace my generous ass, lack of thigh gap, and my cellulite.

Okay the latter is a lie – I hate having bumps. Continue reading

I have whiskers.

Do you remember my lovely-then-momentarily-embarrassing story about The Comedian? Well, go back and read it.

Yeah. That.

I’m ONLY 42. Why has my body decided I need to have a chin hair? What good does this do?

Well, earlier this week I spotted another hair – who am I kidding, it would more realistically and less kindly be called a whisker – coming out of my cheek. Continue reading

Selfie Sunday | I bought a bikini.

I’m sure most of the women reading this are saying “yeah, bikini? so?”.

Let me rephrase: I bought my first bikini EVER.

Yes. I haven’t worn a bikini since I was a toddler.

I haven’t talked much about my past weight struggles on this blog. While I was never obese (well, I was according to BMI) my weight always fluctuated. When I was 14 I was 5’10” and 140 pounds…I had that long leggy look I wish I still had (Taylor Swift is that weight, for what it’s worth).

But then puberty did its thing with my hips and my relationships with men dictated whether I was heavier or lighter. I had a tendency to eat like they did and of course it didn’t work for my metabolism. At my heaviest in high school, I was the same weight I am today.  Continue reading

How one little word can make me feel so sh*tty.

I asked a blogger I met to describe me. I didn’t need it to be posted on his blog, but I am always curious how I am seen by others. I was looking for some honest insight and first impressions. While others have written about me (links are on my “awards and nice things” page under “it’s not all sex here”), I figure often that people are just being nice. And yes, I know this isn’t always true. I don’t generally suffer from a lack of confidence and I’m keenly aware of most of my faults.

He writes about women, and his descriptions are sexy and wonderful. They really come alive on the page. His women are stunning and sexy and hot and luscious. From my readers perspective, he seems to love a wide variety of women and to truly appreciate female beauty.

So I was looking forward to something lovely and maybe sexy. But I’m not sure why I assumed it would be lovely and sexy. Continue reading