after the first dinner date

After two dates: first, the excitement

After kissing him goodbye at my front door at the end of our epic first dinner date, I floated up the stairs and texted him to say thank you for the amazing night. I also gave him my real mobile number so we could get off the sluggish burner app.

He replied with a simple “good night, text you there tomorrow”. 

The next morning, the other man I’d agreed to meet from POF cancelled our date. He too is moving houses and he said while he wasn’t normally this flighty, he really needed more time to deal with the house and his children. It was fine by me, I was exhausted.

As promised, Jack texted. He asked how I slept then remembered I was supposed to be at brunch (I didn’t tell him who with) and I replied that it was blissfully cancelled and asked him how he was doing. He didn’t reply.  Continue reading

chemistry and sensual sex

A dinner date for my history book: Part 3

Previous Post 

It didn’t take long after sitting on my couch before we started kissing again. We’d had almost four hours of talking and there was no need for any more.

Luxuriating in a kiss is truly one of life’s great pleasures. There’s a time and place for moving quickly, but this wasn’t one of them. Jack and I had amazing kissing chemistry. I’m a responsive lover: I will often match someone’s pace and style, which is likely why I’m told I’m an great kisser. In this case, we were already well matched.

Jack was slow to take things further. This was not a five-minutes-of-kissing-then-shove-a-hand-down-my-pants experience. He took his time to explore.

Continue reading

when online dating brings you a good match

When the others fall away.

[Part 3 of our date is coming, but I wasn’t in the right head space yesterday to write it – Jack and I have had a slight communication hiccup (I’m sure that’s all it is) – and I knew it would affect my accurate depiction of the rest of our night together. So here’s a post I’d scheduled originally for tomorrow.]

:::

It’s the difference between “sure, this is okay” and “FUCK YES”. I haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time. I did about Kyle, but his unresponsiveness killed it.  He was a “fuck yes” for me, but I wasn’t for him. (And if you haven’t read the Mark Manson article on it, check it out here). Online dating sometimes serves up a great potential match.

When the intellectual and physical chemistry is truly there, all others fall away. And if they don’t, that person isn’t doing it for you.

I hid my POF profile on Sunday. I told the two men I was having conversations with that I was going offline because I’d met someone I wanted to focus on, but if I came back I would reach out. They both replied they appreciated the message and wished me luck. Continue reading

A dinner date for my history book: Part 2

Part One

We drove to the restaurant, talking about driving styles, swearing with our children in the car, and again it was just easy and seamless. The kind of conversation of people who have known each other forever…or who just “click”.

We parked near the restaurant. I didn’t wait for him to come open my door – it didn’t even occur to me. Unlike Fox, I was not scolded. Fox would get super irritated when I’d dare open my own door. I enjoy a gentleman but his rigidity was unattractive.

As Jack and I walked, I noted his shoulder seemed lower than mine, and I wondered whether I was actually taller than he. It didn’t matter – of course I’d like someone taller but it is not a deal breaker.  Continue reading

Intellectual, emotional, and physical chemistry

A dinner date for my history book.

I’m going to preface this post by saying I know 100% that there is no way to know if something is going to work out, after two dates. I know this right to my core.  I can quickly assess intellectual and physical chemistry, but the emotional / behavioral can kill a relationship.

I’ve sacrificed some intellectual and physical chemistry for the sake of strong emotional chemistry, and ultimately that doesn’t work. I’ve found incredible intellectual and physical, just to later experience an emotional mismatch.

But Jack has the potential for all three. I’m over the moon at the moment and am determined to enjoy it. Continue reading

Civility shouldn’t be rare. Or, why I almost cried twice in 24 hours.

I’m on a plane flying home from New York, where I’ve been the last several days. It was wonderful but I always look forward to getting home after too many nights in a hotel room. A breakfast of bacon, eggs, some toast and coffee should not cost $35 US.

I did not seek a debaucherous vacation, nor did debauchery find me anyway. As you know, sometimes it comes to you. I am however sporting four very large hickeys on the front of my neck, with no concealer to be found. But that’s not the reason I’m writing at the moment.

My level of patience and optimism with my dating life has been cyclical – right now I’m in a place where the lack of common decency shown by so many gets to me. It’s not just my experience, it’s those of my friends as well.  Continue reading

Blogging in the Big Apple

I’m coming to the Big Apple in mid-July. Last time I missed a few of you and would hate for that to happen again.

A few trips ago I got some bloggers together. Some of us used our blog names and some revealed a little more. We drank a lot of wine and had a lot of laughs.

I think it would be fun to do it again. Who’s in? 

If you want to reply privately just use my contact me page. 

Ann

xoxo

He showed up and fisted me

He showed up in the middle of the night | in my words (2 of 2)

The first half of this story can be found here.

I am not one for evocative sex writing. In my opinion, I don’t write erotica – I don’t write sex well (although some of you have kindly said I do, so thank you), I don’t have the words to describe body parts other than their slang or actual term, or sexual activities and can’t make everything sound beautiful or sexy.

But I suppose those of you who read, aren’t reading because I can make things sound like a Harlequin romance.

His version of the night, which is lovely, can be found here. Continue reading

he fisted me in the middle of the night

He showed up in the middle of the night | In his words

If you haven’t read part one, you may want to. He finished his version before I finished my part two, so wanted to go ahead and share it with you.

These are his unedited words. You can see why I bask in them. Enjoy.

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Honestly, I never thought we’d meet. Not out of lack of interest, mind you, but circumstances, distances and timing always seemed to work against us. But interest? Oh, interest was always there…how could it not be? For over two years, we’d danced a delicate dervish of flirtation and fantasy, getting to know one another’s nooks and crannies mentally, if not physically. From the start, she’d hooked me with her words; her passionate honesty, her fervid adventures, her moments of joy and yes, her moments of doubt. Every single word written with a delightful blend of intimate truthfulness and evident lust. The very combination that drives a man like me wild. Continue reading

He showed up, we had sex, he fisted me.

He showed up in the middle of the night and fisted me. (1 of 2)

“You’re made of awesome, Ann”.

I’ve known this man for over two years. We met through our blogs – I no longer remember how. Despite a lack of appreciation for poetry, his caught my eye. His stories were hot, and he was a prolific weaver of words. He was a staunch supporter on my blog.

We became friends; he told me I was his muse, that he could barely believe a woman like me existed. He filled my inbox and my ears with a steady stream of poems and stories written just for me, and with promises that men like him existed in my real life. Those who would embrace the woman I was and support my desires without judgment.

Men who would adore me, delight in me, and fuck me silly.  Continue reading