When time evaporates. 

Knowing he was likely in meetings all day, I didn’t bother trying to make plans with Kyle in advance. Despite a bad track record, we’d confirmed the previous day and we agreed to sort out the specifics the day of.

He knew I was going to see my personal trainer after work and I’d be free at 6pm. We’d agreed to meet in our neighbourhood (we live about 10 minutes apart) and to the time, so other than the place, there wasn’t much to confirm. Therefore I waited until I was leaving the gym to text, and we had the following exchange:  Continue reading

We made our own BBC party.

Lewis and I hadn’t seen each other for a few weeks – mostly due to my vacation schedule. Unless I’m willing to see someone when I have Liam, I’m on a two week cycle. And sex with Lewis is rather, ahem, vigorous.

I wrote my last post while waiting for him to come over. It was a mostly typical Lewis encounter that night. We have a drink, talk about work (this time there wasn’t much talking), we go upstairs, undress, but of foreplay, he pounds away forever, we talk more, he goes home.

In some ways it was a bit different.

I greeted him at the door naked except for lace panties, with his drink in my hand. Hence why the shop talk was cut short.  Continue reading

Kyle needs to talk.

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I’d had a lot of time over the last few months to try to figure out, without overanalyzing, what the fuck Kyle’s deal was. I didn’t doubt his interest in me – he had the intention to see me / date me – however in practice it completely fell down.

Bottom line, dating me was not a priority. I would have bet he wasn’t dating others, so I didn’t get the sense he had other women that came first. Of course, being the last wife in the harem holds no appeal to me. It was harder to accept that even if I was the only one he was interested in, his behavior was still uncool. Continue reading

The elusive creature named Kyle

I think this might be a record for slowest relationship start – scratch that, since I don’t know if this is the start of anything whatsoever. The magic 8 ball aka my Mother says yes but this has not been an auspicious start.

This is the longest it’s taken me to have four dates with anyone. I don’t count Jake since we stopped after the first.

Dates isn’t even a great term. The first meeting was a pre clearance date. Then a dinner date, then a spontaneous late night discussion on my couch, and most recently, another couch conversation in lieu of what was supposed to be a date.

Three months from our first contact.  Continue reading

A little quiet time

The sound of silence. Kinda.

I deleted my dating profiles last week – maybe the week before – and so far I don’t miss them. I’ve had a few moments where I considered reopening them, wondering if my soul mate is one right swipe away, but they remain deleted.

I have also quite liked not being able to check the locations of anyone I’ve connected with. It brings no good to know these things. I unfriended Kyle on Facebook, with strong encouragement from Hy, and that’s been fine too. There was nothing in his profile of any interest, but the moment he posted something I could possibly interpret as bad for me, I would wish to not have seen it.

He hasn’t mentioned it; I doubt he’s noticed. I almost followed Drew on Instagram but resisted.  Continue reading

My brain is never quiet but my words are. 

I write this from Hy’s balcony, enjoying the weather and sipping a coffee. It’s been a very low-key and perfect few days so far. Good friends are precious.

While I’m sure some of you would love to hear me say we’ve been out been out partying, picking up men and having crazy orgasmic sexcapades, that wasn’t on the agenda. Sure, orgasms would be fantastic but so far they haven’t been sought out or received.

While still at home, I Bumble matched with a man temporarily in my city who lives in her city (the chance of that oh-so-slim), but despite being super keen to meet, he says he’s come down with a summer cold. It’s the closest I’ve come to an orgasm on this leg of my trip. Oh well. Continue reading

our first dinner date

Kyle the tall man texts

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With the feedback I’d gotten from my friends, I was trying my hardest to not assume ‘s Kyle’s lack of confirmation 24 hours in advance meant anything. We had confirmed a date and a time, just not a place. I was fairly certain he was interested in meeting and he didn’t strike me as the type to just bail.

Maybe.

I was mildly irritated because it was helpful to be able to plan in the morning what the hell I was doing after work. But I realized the way to deal with it was to just go about my arrangements, knowing it wasn’t a big deal, and based on what I knew we weren’t likely to meet downtown where I worked anyway. So either way, I was going home after my personal training session. Continue reading

That magical and frightening time after a great first date

A warning to everyone – I’m writing this in the heat of the moment.

I wrote about Ian and our chance meeting on Bumble, and then my largely unwarranted concerns about his communication pace. He and I have had more phone calls than I would normally want prior to a first date, but it was 10 days from first contact to being able to meet.

We set a date to meet and the specifics were in his hands. I called him on Monday – forget this texting bullshit – to sort out general timing. Tuesday afternoon he confirmed where and when I was to meet him. Continue reading

What's old is new again 3 | When sexual dysfunction means you bail

I saw the Cook online earlier this week and confess to saying to myself “oh you’re single again are you? That’s karma you fucking jerk.”

I’m usually more gracious, but given the history, not so much. I wasn’t following my dating rules then. I suppose I should have known better. It was too bad – he’s one of the ones where I think if I’d approached dating him a little differently, perhaps there would have been a different outcome.

But of course, another man from my past showed up, this time on OK Cupid. I never wrote about him but he is #41 on my Men I’ve Slept With list.

I guess I don’t harbour as much resentment toward him as I’m pretty sure he was mortified he couldn’t keep it up and that’s why he never contacted me again. Continue reading

OH COME ON, life. Cut me some f*cking slack.

Health issues, divorce, change in child arrangements, job loss, relationship challenges, and now…

…dealing with parental financial issues.

Really? Haven’t I proven a high degree already of change resilience?

Long story short, my Mother and Step-Father were well set up for retirement a decade ago, having sold their business, paid off their mortgage, and living simply with a focus on experiences, including travel.

Then the 2008 financial crises happened, and my Step-Dad, who managed their investments, managed to lose ALL of their savings. Literally. All. Of. Their. Savings. Okay, well, perhaps they had $30,000 left.  Continue reading