Reblog: Being catfished. You’ll probably laugh at me.

I was doing some blog maintenance today (more fun than working) and came across a post that still makes me laugh – link below.

On a random note, I’ve been reading some dating stories from female bloggers recently and generally speaking, when they complain about a guy’s douchy behavior, I see all the red flags that got them there. Either in the way he treated them, or what he said, or what she did. But it’s rarely a surprise to me, based on what they write.

I’m sure there are exceptions, but it does make me wonder whether I should attempt to provide advice to people via this blog. I have never really thought I knew enough to do so. Madeline (The Woman Invisible) tells me I should quit my day job and become a dating therapist.

What do you think?

In the meantime, check out this old post: Hook Line & Busted: My Catfish Experience.

Ann
xo

I'm a one-woman reality show | Choose my next adventure

By now you probably know I’m back on a couple of online dating sites. Most of my time there is spent deleting messages. I have not proactively reached out to anyone. There are a handful of men I have responded to, but nobody I’ve found worthy of a date as yet, who has also asked me out.

Below is the VERBATIM exchange I had over the last few days with one dude on OK Cupid. I am not going to tell you what I think (which I have to say is VERY hard to do)…but I’d love to hear what you think. His messages are in Bold Italics and mine are plain font.

And before you read this and decide to lecture me, this is the MOST I have engaged with anyone at all on this site. I responded because my first thought was he was a catfish. Or just insane. So I was interested to see where he was trying to take the conversation. And I’m usually not so pointed in my responses unless I’m really irritated.


Your profile is more interesting than the average woman profile that I see on this site… Usually there is so much crass self-promotion. I found yours most unusually original. It is rare to find intelligence and wit in this particular forum.

 You sound like you might be more than just an interesting profile (which is refreshing). 

Beside…you have posted some very interesting and attractive photos here…no eyes or nose at the wrong spot…that’s unique, a rare combination of beauty and innocence!

 Do they come with an attractive… cute name too?



Nope? Nothing? Null? Rien? Niente? Nicht? Nad? Ne? no reply? Nothing to say? 
Don’t have the cute name? 
lol. talk to me

I am definitely more than an interesting profile. Thanks for the compliments. My name is Ann. It’s common, not sure about cute?

Ann…such a nice, magical and charming name you have! 

 I recently got hold of a magic crystal ball and just asked it about you. 
Here is what I got…ready?

 You can be very romantic… attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your expression of love and are willing to take chances…try new sexual experiences and partners… provided it’s all in good taste.

Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating…otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving…cuddling… wining and dining to know that you’re being appreciated. 
Is it worth the pesos or should I return it…ask for refund?

Not sure my name is magical but okay… You got a few things right (they were fairly generic lol) but others are off.

Now, the funny thing Ann is…I don’t even need the crystal ball, I KNOW what kind of woman you are. 

You’re FUNNY… INTERESTING…and CHARISMATIC. I’m sure of it. Guaranteed!!!

 You’re the kind of woman that men DREAM ABOUT. 

You probably enjoy life… have fun whatever you’re doing; know what you want… etc. You’re probably successful in your line of work, have a life of your own… and on and on. 

 You’re also the kind of woman that most men have NO idea how to deal with. 

Most guys will turn you OFF within 3 seconds of the introduction, because they’ll start acting all nice, polite, and sweet. 

Uninspired and BORING!!! 

 I mean too much is too much! You do bore easy and like to be active, challenged and kept on your toes.



Again, some of what you say is right…

Nice… polite and sweet is okay to a point but you don’t want a sap, a shameless schmoozer, right? too much syrup rubs you the wrong way…right? It’s just that witty, charismatic, and renegade is better! you want someone who will appreciate your feminine side… treat you like a princess…a nice guy with a bad boy side… or a bad boy with a secret nice guy side…someone who will not sugarcoat it. you want is a MAN who is a masculine and confident at his core…but still a HUMAN BEING who you can relate to. you have such a little girl’s smile; it is so innocent. But I can tell from your eyes that you have an exciting…mischievous side to you.

I don’t like syrup at all actually. Manners, yes. Humour, intelligence, curiosity, passion. Yes, I have a feminine and professional side, as well as a mischievous side. And yes, I want someone who is confident as well.

yeah…it appears you have that shy, conservative side of you that keeps you a lady until you can trust and feel wanted and desired… I bet a lot of people think you are mature….but I know better. I can tell from your eyes that inside…you are really just a little girl….I bet your inner child is a juvenile delinquent. 🙂 I have to go to bed… for real… otherwise I will be a crying grump tomorrow. Sweet dreams Ann.

I’m not shy nor conservative. And I guess it depends on your definition, but any misbehaviour is not juvenile. Goodnight.

Good morning Ann…I hope the morning sun awakens your day to let it beautifully unfold…
I can also tell that you are someone who at times does not take chances…. and sometimes you want to shoot yourself in the foot because you did not have the courage to try something new… But other times you are adventurous and do take chances…and this is when you have the best time because this is the real you… right?

Why don’t you spend more time telling me about you?

Moi? I am everything you didn’t know you were looking for… well…I should tell you something. I’m that guy your mom warned you about. But hey, we both know that you never listened to her…

Why no face pics?

I have pictures to share … just keeping a low profile because of the kind of work I do. look… I am not for everyone. You should ask your doctor if I am right for you… Clinical tests show that I may cause fatigue… heart palpitations and disorientation. A general sense of euphoria has been reported in some cases as well as slight addiction tendencies. It is recommended you do not operate heavy machinery until you know how you will react to me. You should avoid taking alcohol and hang with me as the effect of the alcohol may increase the addiction. In general…be cautious! Any further involvement is at your own risks…

I don’t scare easily, although you do have a different approach and I’m rather cynical after dating online for a year, so not sure what to make of you. But I’m just busy with my son today.

I see you want me, and I kind of like watching you work for it. Keep it up, and maybe you’ve got a shot with me, cutie… but again… I am that guy from your dreams…the venom…the fatal virus…a bit of a maverick… independent…stable and adventurous enough to take a few risks every now and again…able to challenge you… excite you and intrigue you – all at the same time. I am friendly…smart and sweet… adventurous and passionate…I will make u crave me… I will make u wake up in the middle of the night and wish u were kissing my soft sexy mouth. No doctor’s prescription will help the cravings… Beside, you are not THAT adventurous… or are you?

You close to lost me with that first sentence. I have no patience for arrogance.

I have no intention being arrogant 🙂 I live my life flamboyantly, boldly, lustily and with passion and give it my best shot! and you Ann…do you have what it takes to seduce me?

I could ask you the very same question, but I wouldn’t, because it makes me sound arrogant and entitled. I don’t play games. Seduction is mutual and it starts with the brain. Most men can’t handle me – you were right about that. But I don’t put that all out there front and centre as a starting point. You haven’t even asked me what I’m looking for, yet you presume to be that person?

We are all looking for the same thing Ann. We just describe it differently. So we hang out, date…get to know each-other…become friends…and go from there. We gotta start somewhere. How about we aim for friends and anything after that is bonus?

I actually disagree. I have met many men who aren’t looking for the same thing at all. But perhaps you are aligned with me. I would like to see your face – can that be arranged?

Here is my email address should you wish to continue this conversation without this site as mediator. So why have you waited this long to find me? 
 I have been searching forever. Why have I been left alone at this pond reeling in bottom feeders?  Were you circling under the dock watching me? Were you studying my movements… actions… expressions so that u could fine tune your swim towards my lure? 
 Were you lusting for my delicate fingers to softly stroke your rainbow coloured fins?? Did my glistening sun-kissed cheeks beg for your lips to caress them? You may be in over your head with me lady.


So he sent me his face pic via email. If you were me, would you ignore this guy? What would you say to him next?

Dating advice books

One funny and one disturbing story for you today. I’m working all weekend, 6am-6pm, getting ready for a big event in a couple of weeks, so I have lots of time to kill. It’s not often that the moon is up when I arrive at the office.

I’m taking advantage of my time to respond to my backlog of work emails, get stuff done that never makes it to the top of the priority list, and uncover the pictures and screen shots I’ve taken with the intent to write a post.

Funny:

My son is closely bonded to my step-dad, who has him overnight once a week. They go exploring frequently and have all kinds of adventures together. Continue reading

My Mother, the ex-husband whisperer

My Mom is very wise. I knew it before but know it even more now, as I am going through similar experiences as what she went through, years ago.

As I referenced in my post about our proclivity to use other people, we had a really long conversation last week. It was actually a great thing…my son was playing with neighborhood friends outside, making up all kinds of games and being the sort of “free range” child I remember being as a kid. So my Mom and I just hung out.

She knows I blog. I’ve shown her some posts before – a few that have made her laugh, and one that made her cry. I told her many of you thought she was awesome when I wrote about the butt plug door stop. Continue reading