Gentlemen, this is how to get my attention.

I’d had a pretty decent weekend of sexual adventures – no romance, mind you, but some days I will take what I can get. I had a Friday quickie with Jason and a date and some good sex with Shenanigans on Saturday. The crazy Italian was still sending super sexual messages but he was on ignore for the most part. I’d been ignoring about 90% of the messages I’m getting on the dating sites. For lots of reasons which I will talk about in another post. But suffice it to say I get a notice of a new message, open it up, check out the profile of the sender, and usually delete it. The one I got on OKCupid late night on Sunday was different, somehow:

Hi, Nice to meet you – my name is Tony.

Your profile sounds very interesting – I have a young son as well and though he doesn’t live with me I see him almost every day. Continue reading

The best first date of my entire life. Yup.

For the build up, please read this post.

And no, the image isn’t really relevant, but I’ve been waiting to use it all year and well, today is the day. Happy New Year everyone!

We met at 8pm, outside the restaurant we had picked. It was perfect. Small, cool vibe with exposed brick and a long bar. Probably held 20 people. It was known for great small plates of food for sharing.

One thing I have found rare in the men I’ve met is a nice balance between leadership and taking my opinion into account. I like someone who takes charge but isn’t a jerk about it, for lack of a better term. But I absolutely want someone who has an opinion.

Tony was amazing in this regard. He asked me what area I preferred – and then once we settled on a location, he recommended a restaurant and a time. Perfect. When I arrived, he met me on the street. My first though was – oh my – as he was in a hooded jacket and seemed to be limping. But no, false alarm. All was good. Continue reading

The first date that never ended

Part One | Part Two

Yes, it was almost 4am. But I was having so much fun. I am also trying to stick to a resolution to not have sex with men on the first date. An experiment of sorts, to see whether it makes any difference in the post-date interaction. But he was the one reassuring me that we could just keep kissing and it would be amazing.

So we got a taxi and went back to my place. Naturally, we kept kissing in the car. Much of the rest of the night was a blur – not because I was drunk. There was kissing and nakedness and pleasure and of course I was on my period and he said he didn’t care. And while everyone’s definition of “sex” is different… we did leave something to be done on the next date.

He is so passionate, he moves well, and he looks at me very intently. At times I would open my eyes and he would be looking down at me with a big smile on his face. Continue reading

The decidedly lower-key second date with Tony

Part One (how he reached out online) | Part Two (the first part of our first date) | Part Three (the end of our first date).

We didn’t want the first date to end, so we decided to continue it on Tuesday evening. No time like the present, since we were both child-free. At first we wanted to go out again for dinner, then we realized we were damn tired.

Tony came over to my place – promising to clean up his place to make it presentable for the next time. When I opened my front door to greet him he seemed genuinely happy to see me again. The greeting kiss was just as good as those from earlier that day. Continue reading

A third date, then…my walls start to be built, just like that.

Part One (how he reached out online) | Part Two (the first part of our first date) | Part Three (the end of our first date) | Part Four (our second date)


We made plans to go out again that Friday night, the day after Christmas. He had tickets to a sporting event and wanted to take me. He knew that after this week, Friday would generally be my only free night – so he said Friday nights were for me. It made my heart flutter a little bit at the thought.

With the Christmas illness that felled my parents (post to follow tomorrow on that debacle), they weren’t able to take my son that Friday night. So I had to call Tony and tell him I couldn’t go out. I said I understood if he still wanted to go to the game, but if he was keen, he was welcome to come to my place after my son went to sleep. Continue reading

Wall construction is temporarily halted due to worker confusion.

Tony now has a section on my Lovers page, if you need to read the back story.


Saturday night I sent a text saying goodnight, after some back and forth texting throughout the day. I heard nothing all day Sunday from Tony. Or Monday morning. It was hard to not leap for my phone every time I heard a ping.

The girlfriend I was visiting helped talk me through my anxiety and feeling like I was about to get bailed on. Again. Even though my gut told me he was different. We talked through different scenarios, and settled on the same one as some of you lovely readers.

It was likely he just needed a bit of space – consciously or unconsciously. I split a year before he did – his is still relatively fresh. He’s in a different place. He had just recently put himself up on the online dating site. I know I was his first, first date. It’s also possible I was the first woman he’d slept with since his split. Continue reading

The night he cooked me dinner and we tested his bed (Date #4) Part 1

For the back story, please go to my lovers page, where Tony now has his own section 😀


Friday night I felt like death and Saturday morning wasn’t much better. My son was still with Will, my ex. I watched the last two episodes of “Boardwalk Empire”, then the movie “Saving Mr. Banks” (I bawled on three separate occasions but think it said more about my mental state than the movie, although it was quite good), and started a movie about Marilyn Munroe.

Tony had texted a few times during the day but called me to sort out final plans. He called and told me he preferred it over text and he said “ah there’s the voice I wanted to hear”… following it with some humor about my being sick and not sounding my best.

Turns out he was cooking dinner for me at his place. So fun!! His original plan was dinner at his place then we would go out from there. We have a running joke about who is the better bowler, so that was a candidate. But there was a brutal winter storm happening and we both conceded that the after-dinner fun might be restricted to his place. Continue reading

Breaking a lifelong habit

There is something to be said for recognizing one’s patterns. With the reactions I’ve had to Tony and all of his unknowns, I find myself thinking back to one of the true loves in my life.

One of the men on my list, we first dated for six months when we were just 12. Yes, you read that right – six months. We remained close friends and got back together when we were 16. But it was never meant to be. We still keep in touch and he gave me great advice when I became single again – having been the first of my friends to get divorced.

One thing he used to tell me when we dated all those years ago is that I pushed too much – for knowledge, certainty, more time, more dedication. It drove him crazy and although he loved me, my pushing had the opposite effect. He pulled back. For those of you who are curious about such things, I am a Virgo and he is a Capricorn. Continue reading

Might I have a man choice on my horizon?

I didn’t think I would have this problem. And I’m going to make this post quick because a very wise New Yorker suggested perhaps I write a little bit less and focus on other stuff (he said health, but I’m going to use the found time to get my turntable fixed so I can play the albums my father gave me at Christmas… his ENTIRE music collection).

Last night I was texting Tony a little bit and I sent him a picture…not particularly naughty, but I did think it was sexy. It was of my shoulder, neck, and breast (covered with my hand) showing him that the bruise from last weekend had faded.

He didn’t exactly respond in a manner I thought befitting someone who had just received said photo, so I asked him what he thought and he said: Continue reading

A rather lovely weekend. Except the sleep deprivation.

I broke my daily posting routine – again. I think this will be my 365th post, unbelievably.

But I took to heart the advice I got (take time if I need it, essentially) and furthermore, I didn’t have much to say on Sunday that was current. I could have taken a picture of myself but it felt rather empty (with no disrespect to those to do – Selfie Sunday is just not something I feel compelled to do on a regular basis).

I have a post in progress about the crazy Italian. We never met but his text messages were ridiculous. I have another post (inspired by Will Carrier constantly asking me why I was dating online) to demonstrate that while not all men online are looking for sex, there were hardly a whole lot I found worthy of a response for me. Just not a good fit, and all that. But I wasn’t inspired to complete either. Continue reading