Why is this a problem?
I deliberately don’t have a scale on this picture because the point is relativity. What you see in the pic is the result of a few different things which for a couple of days last week got me almost three times the blog traffic I’ve ever received. It won’t last, and now my chart just looks like all those other days were shitty.
This post isn’t actually about my blog stats, but what it got me thinking about:
Once you have achieved something or experienced something fantastic, it’s difficult to not want to continue at that level. If you don’t, everything else afterwards can feel like a letdown.
If I like Lewis’s cock, can I be satisfied with someone smaller? If I got used to Johnny’s communication, should I really expect anything less? Will anyone else have the kind of chemistry that Tony and I shared?
I have high expectations of myself, and always want to be better. My job demands excellence. When it comes to dating, I know nobody is perfect. But how do I know what is a reasonable-yet-high expectation? At the office, we call them “stretch goals”. What are my dating stretch goals?
When I started to think about how I wanted to be treated, it was a good step forward. I never wrote the post on the characteristics of the man I want to be with – at least not that I can recall. But really, these are minimum specifications, not my ideal. I’m a pragmatist, after all.
When I meet someone like Lewis, who – on the surface – exceeds the minimum criteria in many ways, it’s very exciting. While I don’t think I’m a big deal at all, I know I’m intelligent, kind, funny, passionate, financially independent, successful at my job, happy, decent looking, fun, a good communicator, organized, and I love to have sex. You can pretty much take me anywhere and I can talk to anyone.
In other words, I’m a catch.
Now, I’m not everyone’s catch – you’ll notice I didn’t talk about the down sides of being passionate, which is an intensity that can sometimes be overwhelming. I didn’t mention I’m highly analytical which can drive people bananas. I like order more than chaos, so if you love just flying by the seat of your pants all the time, I’m not your gal. What makes me good at my job – planning big things – can be irritating if you love spontaneity. I like to be tidy and organized, and I will try to organize you. I’m like the border collie of organizers… I can’t help but try to herd you.
All that to say, I don’t have a mindset that I’m perfect and my mate has to be. But am I in a place where I can demand that they be perfect for me? What does that even look like? What are the things I’m willing to compromise on? I don’t want to settle, but I can see how its tempting.
But, then I will remember I now have six (6!) views on this blog from Greenland and perhaps know that those stretch goals are achievable.
This makes me happy. Sadly.