communication is not easy in dating

Two hospitalizations in a week. (1 of 2)

If you don’t know the back story, you can read about Ian and I first connected on Bumble and how his lack of proactive communication started to make me antsy.

If you don’t know who Tony is, well when you have a spare five hours you can read our saga by going to my Lovers page… or just using the Tony tag (but it sorts from newest to oldest…working on finding a plug-in to change that!)

This past week I didn’t have much to do in the evenings, other than work and a few other truly value added activities which I discussed in my last post.

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when the thought of losing someone confirms you love them

Part 2 | Two hospitalizations in a week

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Tony and I were supposed to see each other on Wednesday night. He’d been working all week and it felt like we’d barely spoken (which wasn’t technically true but I’m feeling more disconnected from him than usual – it could very well all be in my head).

I was sitting at my home computer working late when my phone rang. It was Tony. “Ann”, he said, “I’ve just blacked out on set. They called an ambulance and I’m going to the hospital.”

“What?? Oh my god! Are you okay now? Where are they taking you?”

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That magical and frightening time after a great first date

A warning to everyone – I’m writing this in the heat of the moment.

I wrote about Ian and our chance meeting on Bumble, and then my largely unwarranted concerns about his communication pace. He and I have had more phone calls than I would normally want prior to a first date, but it was 10 days from first contact to being able to meet.

We set a date to meet and the specifics were in his hands. I called him on Monday – forget this texting bullshit – to sort out general timing. Tuesday afternoon he confirmed where and when I was to meet him. Continue reading

first date kiss sporting event

A kiss shared with thousands | my first date with Ian

Ian from the beginningPrevious Post

He paid for dinner, and we went to the game. He didn’t lead me by the hand but was mindful of where I was in relation to him, as we threaded our way through the crowd.

He knew a few people we passed on the way, working the event. He stopped to chat with each of them and introduced me as his “friend Ann”. It was nice to get the opportunity to see how he interacted with other humans. He was polite and kind and just a touch awkward – not knowing how to close off a conversation seamlessly to let them let back to work.

I found it endearing and real. Continue reading

not just a first date kiss but oral sex on my couch

A kiss shared with thousands | Part Two

Part One

After the game he took charge and knew exactly which direction he was taking me. We walked with the crowds and after a few minutes I asked where we were going.

He said since we hadn’t had dinner yet he thought we could get food. I was game.

We held hands the whole way. He took me to the neighborhood where he has his downtown flat. He chose a restaurant which happened to be a favorite of HWSNBN’s…. Shit. Continue reading

driving to my second date, overnight bag in the trunk

Wherein I start to date long distance

If you are new to the story of Ian, please start with this post.

So Ian and I had our amazing first date, and he left in the very early morning. Just before I crashed into bed, I sent him a thank you text: “Ian thank you for an amazing night. Kissing you was admittedly a highlight. Can’t wait until Friday :)”

He quickly responded “You’re awesome. Thanks for an amazing evening. Looking forward to date 3 :)”

The joke of course was our first date was so long, and went past midnight, it was like we’d been on two dates already. It did feel like that a bit. Continue reading

packed an overnight bag for our second date

I had an overnight bag for our second date

To start from the beginning with Ian please start here, or just go to the previous post.

In the absence of him being able to come to me, I chose to come to him. I love to drive and don’t get much of a chance, but I hate being stuck in city traffic.

I was able to get on the road a bit earlier that everyone else going home on Friday afternoon, but it was still a 2.5 hour drive. I called some girlfriends and took some work calls to pass the time, finally arriving around 6:30pm.  Continue reading

I don't know what to make of our third date

My third date with three of the seven dwarfs

To start at the beginning of the story with Ian, click here. For my previous post, click here.

When I arrived back in my city, I sent him a text to let him know. We exchanged four text messages that day….none of which were him saying anything close to “hey thanks for last night I had a great time.”

Fine.

The next morning I sent him the following: “Good morning handsome 🙂 The nightgown I was wearing last night smelled like you and it made me smile…”

What did I get in return, three hours later? “Hey good morning to you. Not as nice and sunny when you were here yesterday!”

Sigh. Continue reading

Three quick things

My gut was more right than I thought. Those days away for “work” when he could mysteriously not talk to me? Tony was on vacation with his “ex” wife and child. 

Pretty sure the only reason he confessed was because I called him on his bullshit.

In theory I may see him tonight so he can tell me all this to my face. 

::

I’ve not heard from Ian since the Happy Mother’s Day text.

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I went on another first date. Coffee, within 48 hours of first contact. He’s communicative. Very tall – 6’8″. Real job. Confirmed our second date as we said goodbye. Kiss on the cheek. 

Can honestly say if not for the latter I would be even deeper in a spiral of anger.

the distance was too much for Ian

Mr Ambivalent shows some emotion and explains his actions 

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I remained confused about Ian’s general ambivalence. He’d sent me a Happy Mother’s Day text but then not much else. The Tuesday morning afterwards I texted “Good morning – you’ve been rather quiet.”

No response.

Later that night, laying on the floor all angry and hurt about Tony, I enjoyed a (brief) moment of levity when not 5 minutes before he showed up, Ian called. I didn’t answer the phone.

Later that night I saw he’d texted “hi” at 10:30 then later, “you have time to chat?”. The next morning when I woke up I texted that I would call him later that day. No “oh sorry I missed you”. Wasn’t feeling it, so didn’t say it. Continue reading