Dating different men

Tony & Bruce & Gregory (yep)

Referring to two of the above-mentioned men, a friend commented yesterday that I “have a lot of serious contenders these days”. I snort-laughed and replied I wasn’t so sure.

Tony hasn’t yet moved out – he’s actively looking for an apartment but I am rather cynical when it comes to him, for very good reasons. Last weekend he mentioned he, his soon-to-be-ex (STBX), and their son had plans to go skiing together, and I was immediately reminded of the first winter we dated and that they did it every weekend.

It doesn’t mean they aren’t splitting up and it doesn’t mean they are in limbo. Intellectually I know all it means is they are still co-parenting a young child. Some parents still do stuff together during and after a split – I didn’t, but my close friend Maria did, and still does.

Tony and I were talking about apartments and he mentioned his STBX criticized one of his choices because it’s too far. He’s expected to come to what will be her house every morning to take their child to school.

Huh.

On the one hand, who am I to criticize their parenting arrangement? On the other, it sounds a lot like what they did when they were separated. Apparently, they don’t talk about the details. I said to Tony it was the “tough love” portion of our phone call and told him he had to talk about the uncomfortable stuff if he ever wanted to get things settled between them.

Bottom line is, exactly as I expected and any of you could have predicted, Tony isn’t about to be fully free of that relationship and ready for another one anytime soon. I’m glad I have these reminders because it prevents me from getting ahead of myself.

Bruce is still around but I don’t consider him on the cusp of anything relationshippy with me. We may spend time together but it’s likely to be infrequent, I’m not sure he’s someone I would want a serious relationship with, and even if he was…he still has to get his shit together.

And yes, you read the title right.

Gregory.

Gregory, who never responded to my last eloquent email asking for clarification on why he’d dropped me like a hot potato. Suggesting perhaps it was because he’d read excitement in my words, not realizing I was far away from agreeing to be exclusive or picking out (second) marriage dresses.

He showed me none of that courtesy, despite assuring me he was a gentleman who appreciated and respected women.

Yet he was interested enough to keep reading my blog.

I had figured out his IP after the “outing” debacle and had labeled his IP so I would be notified if I received more visits from that address.

Which I was, on more than a few occasions.

It pissed me off. The first couple of times I wrote it off as residual curiosity. But the last time, a couple of weeks ago, I’d had enough. A blog plugin had failed to block his visit and I decided I would simply text him and ask him to please stop reading.

I debated it with Hy, who told me to not bother. But I don’t always do what I’m told. I wanted him to know I knew he was reading and wanted to see what he’d say, if anything.

Me: Hi Gregory, hope you’re well. Based on my traffic I believe you may be continuing to read my blog. Given how things went down with us, it makes me uncomfortable… and also puzzled as to why.

Him: Thought of you, read the blog, wanted to send a quick hello and wish you well to be honest. Unfortunately got sidetracked with a death in the family and did not. Apologies and I will refrain from reading

Me: Sorry to hear about a death in the family. I don’t inherently mind reading but given circumstances… If you want to know how I am – which would surprise me honestly – you can simply ask

Him: Thank you and was going to send a note as an apology, and I do hope you and your son are well.

Me: What was your apology note going to say?

Him: Pretty simple…. sorry for the way things ended. Hope all things are great for you and after my little weirded out ’bout I wanted to commend you on your blog. Sounds odd, but was going to be the majority of the content

::

Huh. I wasn’t sure what I expected, but I didn’t expect him to reply at all, let alone reply with an apology. Although highly skeptical, I admit freely I was curious how a conversation would go down with him.

So I let my curiosity lead, and Gregory and I continued to text.


Image is yes, Curly, Larry, and Moe… aka the Three Stooges. 

32 thoughts on “Tony & Bruce & Gregory (yep)

  1. You should have called it the Three Stooges…and the Ringmaster. It’s a circus after all. You’ll never stay away from men, even for a month…because then it’s just you…and that’s so much worse than the circus.

    You know this my way of helping, right? 😉

    • I love picking photos for my posts and find it interesting people almost never (you may be the second) comment on them. They are sometimes movies which remind me of the stories, or are chosen for their irony, or just for fun. This one was the latter and I’m glad you liked it!!

  2. A year to the date that I met “my” Gregory you write about yours again LOL

    I wish mine would reach out but I know better. :-\

  3. I think you’re starting to realize that none of these men deserve you. They are not in your league. I think you will soon meet a high quality man. These men are all cowards, especially Tony. Do you want a guy who can’t stand up to his ex and set hard boundaries? Nope. I hope you will soon find the man that treats you like a princess and makes you 1st priority.

What do you think?