In the absence of knowing exactly how I was “outed”, I feel extraordinarily vulnerable. I’ve contemplated several times this week making my blog private for a while, so I can figure out what to do.
It doesn’t help to see a comment in my spam filter which says (caps theirs): “WHEN YOU FUCK OTHER WOMENS HUSBANDS BEHIND THEIR BACKS EXPECT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS TO GET FUCKED WITH TOO”
Thanks to the reader who chose the username “YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID” to leave that gem for me.
No, I don’t think I was deliberately sabotaged. No, I’m not going to get into a discussion of anything to do with Tony and who is collecting the bad karma.
The first time I trusted a man with my blog information (but not the name), he also knew about some of the things I’d done. It so happened, at the time, when he searched a few keywords, I was only fourth in google search results. That’s how Fox found me. I gave him what he needed to know. I didn’t make that mistake again.
The second time I was found, it was the result of a very intense social media search by HWSNBN. At the time, my personal Instagram account was public, and he looked at every single one of the pages of those I follow. He found the only connection to my blog life, via a fellow blogger. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but he found it anyway. I didn’t make that mistake again, either. My account is now private (along with my Twitter account). I scoured my social media accounts for any connections to blogs, and removed them.
I told Leo about my writing a blog and he was nonplussed. If he bothered looking, he never said so. I’m certain he hasn’t read what I’ve written about him because if he did, I’m sure he wouldn’t keep texting me to see me again.
On occasion, I tell men I’m dating I’ve done some writing. I have several stories published in a local newspaper and on Facebook. I gauge their reaction to test the waters.
I am very careful to keep my identity hidden, and by extension, those I write about.
Perhaps blog lightning really did strike, and one of my readers is a friend of Harper’s, recognized him and informed him. The simplest answer is often the right one.
But it has me very concerned, nonetheless. I am still ruminating on the comments left by Cheri about how my blog organization tells a story about me that isn’t quite accurate. I am not a man-devouring cold-hearted heathen, checking men off my list one by one. To a new reader, it might appear that way.
If I choose to go private for a while, once I do you can request access by emailing me at email@example.com