the new suitor

Zane is interested; I’m flattered

The attention of a new suitor feels amazing. I also need to be careful, since I’m somewhat… um… delicate at the moment. The volume of dating failures this year has hit me hard and I recognize some nice attention may blind me to yellow or red flags.

My desire for simplicity and focus on the right things hasn’t changed. I haven’t suddenly decided I’m getting back in the dating game. But I remain open to possibility.

No matter what, I am certainly not immune to the attention and flattery of a younger handsome gentleman.

After giving Zane my business card at the party, my friend Maria and I both mused aloud whether I’d hear from him. “He did ask whether my mobile was on it,” I said, “so I think that’s a good sign?”

We spent more time at the party and then hit the wall of fatigue. We both looked incredible – Maria in a blue lace sheath dress with a champagne colored underslip, and me in an almost strapless black shirt and form-fitting black skirt. We briefly pondered whether to go out on the town, but decided sleep was a better choice. While it was a weekend night, we are both working Moms and sleep is more of a luxury than a dude’s phone number.

My phone had been tucked away in my purse all night. I looked at it as we got our coats from the coat check and was surprised to see a text from him already: “Hey Ann, This is Zane – really enjoyed the banter – hope your friends aren’t upset with me taking your time :)”

Nice. It was a pleasant surprise.

I replied in kind. He asked if I was still at the party. I told him I was on my way home. He said he was going out for drinks with friends and asked if I was interested in joining them. I declined but said I appreciated the invitation.

And I did. I thought it was impulsive but cute: there’s nothing wrong with exuberance.

He called me – well, he actually tried to FaceTime – once I said I was home and sitting at my kitchen island.

I could hear his friends laughing and chatting in the background. At one point I could hear their collective razzing, wondering who their friend was bothering to talk to on a Saturday night.

He told me “Ann, I saw you the moment I walked into the room. I saw this beautiful woman and felt your commanding presence. But I wasn’t sure if you were with one of the men who were there. I was watching you and your body language to try to figure it out.”

I thought it was funny we’d both done the same thing.

“You give off a certain vibe, you know,” he said, “and we talked for 25 minutes! I usually get bored, I mean… it was amazing. You seem so… real. I couldn’t believe you are an executive. It’s really hot.” His adoration of my executive status made me somewhat nervous. I like to look up to a man I’m dating, both physically and mentally. I like to cede control at times and don’t want to feel like I’m necessarily more powerful.

While one could certainly argue I have more social and business status than most men I date, it’s different when we aren’t in the same industry. The carpenter I admired because he was incredible at what he did. There was no easy comparison to be made. Yes, perhaps financial – but people in lots of industries make less than I do, and I don’t consider myself more powerful. With Zane, we work at the same firm and therefore the comparison is easier to do and the power differential easier to feel.

He went on to say he felt like we were two rare earth magnets, attracted to each other and stuck together. It was similar to how I’ve described Tony in the past.

He asked again if I would be willing to join he and his friends, but I declined. He wasn’t pushy, just keen. He was also very well-spoken. I could tell he was well brought-up and well-educated by his manner of speaking and the words he chose.

He told me a little about himself; he’s lived around the world and was raised in a privileged environment. His parents live in a different country and he’s making his own way here. I was impressed with what I learned, and intrigued.

Wanting to see me again, he asked when I was next free. I told him I’d have a little time before I got Liam the next day. He said he wanted to see me again as soon as possible.

We chatted some more, promising to text each other the next day to finalize plans. He asked whether he could text me later that night. I explained my phone was automatically on “do not disturb” so he could text as much as he liked, it wouldn’t disturb me.

I hung up the phone, musing about our age difference and wondering what the next day would bring.

7 thoughts on “Zane is interested; I’m flattered

  1. Zane sounds like a nice gentleman. He seems compatible with you also, I’m sure a dinner date will answer a lot of the hanging questions.

  2. I think it’s better to be cautiously optimistic than jaded and gun shy (which you are NOT). What I’m trying to say is that I know you won’t be blinded, as you said, and that it’s a good thing that your experiences over the last several months haven’t made you feel like giving up. Enjoy your time in the light. Trust yourself. <3

  3. Zane sounds really interesting. I’d stick with this one and see how it develops. Don’t worry too much about age differences. My experience is that guys, no matter how high end they are, are turned on by intelligent, independant, business owning women – they tell me it’s really sexy. They love that female power and it reminds them you’re not trying to latch on to them for a leg up in the world, that you’ll always be – well independant,.

What do you think?