The plumber, another poet, and the lumber guy.

I love the conversations I have with Hyacinth when we are confused about the male topics of conversation. “Which one is he again, Ann?” she’ll exclaim, “you know I can’t keep any of them straight!”

Admittedly, between the two of us, it is a little difficult. There are too many men with the same name or same characteristics.

And right now, I’m very behind. I could have written five posts about John already. Looking at the week ahead I know I won’t get caught up, so this is my attempt to do a round up to the current date (pardon the pun). My “men in the mix” page is proving very helpful for me, but not sure if anyone else is taking a look. I just updated it, if you’re interested. 

First up is Dan the plumber. After his hasty post-coital retreat, I was briefly worried he may have been done. But he wasn’t. The text when he got home, and the texts he’s sent reliably every single day, have proven otherwise.

He’s a little bit different. I don’t think we are soul mates but I’ve enjoyed the time I’ve spent with him. I invited him to an evening event at an art gallery, and he was game to join. We drank and looked at art and he was objectified by a few of my gay friends (“Ann, he’s too low rent for you,” one said when Dan wasn’t around “but he is damn cute.”). He took it in stride.

I wanted him to be all over me in the dark corners of the gallery, but it seemed to not be his style. He didn’t come home with me that night (I didn’t expect him to, given the time) and I haven’t seen him since. He texts every single day and we’ve had some false starts for late nights. But this week I don’t have Liam so if my calendar has an opening, I expect to see him.

Not sure I’m going to have an opening though, because other men are keeping me busy. He’s proven to be flaky enough that I’m not overly keen on keeping my nights free for him.

Next is John the other poet. He’s not really another poet, but he’s artsy. He hasn’t had a post dedicated to him yet. To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t expecting much. He is in his late fifties and his photos weren’t great on OK Cupid, but he had a well-written profile and was very articulate.

We’d had a couple of phone calls and he was very keen to meet. He was suggesting long afternoon or dinner dates and I told him it’s simply not how I meet someone for the first time. He said he didn’t like twenty minute coffee dates because it didn’t give him enough time to get to know someone, and I had to clarify I meant more time than that, but less than an assumption of dinner.

We had planned an after-work on Friday date, which he had to cancel. We rescheduled for Sunday early afternoon before I got Liam. But then when my Saturday plans fell through, I texted asking if he wanted to meet. He said yes. We met for dinner, he was better looking in person, he drove me home, came inside, and didn’t leave until the next day. He may be in his late fifties but he doesn’t look it, and he has the libido of a twenty-year-old.

I have to write more about him, but for now will say despite the good start, he seems to be overly into me. I’m too scarred from my experiences with HWSNBN and Jack. I’ve explained the pace I need and we shall see if he is able to chill.

Finally is the lumber guy, as Hy calls him. He’s the contractor who I had multiple phone calls with before our first date. The first date was great, I took him back to my place and had sex with him. When I didn’t hear back from him for almost two days afterward, I was convinced I’d made an error in judgment.

But no, it wasn’t anything so dramatic. His situation feels unnervingly like Bruce’s. He’s a high-end tradesman. He’s often tired from long days of physical labor, and he gets up early. Where he works is dictated by someone else. He sees his two young children a few times a week. He’s in the midst of a nasty divorce settlement.

In other words, he may dig me, but he doesn’t have the time or energy to actually date me.

We’ve texted back and forth a bit. I don’t push it – I know that any pushing will have the opposite effect. We are scheduled to see each other tomorrow since he’s working in my neighborhood and I don’t have Liam. He asked if he should bring an overnight bag and I said yes.

The timing may not be right, but unlike Bruce, he’s actually in the midst of his settlement negotiations. For now, I will see what tomorrow feels like and take it from there.

But speaking of Bruce… I reached out to him recently after giving him a few weeks of no contact. He was chatty and asked if we could meet. Long story short? Despite two attempts at scheduling, neither worked. The first time he didn’t even bother to tell me his plans changed; he had to drive his boss home. The second time he told me, but wasn’t apologetic.

So, nothing has changed with him. In some ways, I’m glad it didn’t work out because seeing him and perhaps getting my hopes up would have been frustrating. This way, I know exactly what the situation is, and won’t try to pursue anything again.

But that’s okay, because I have more men in the mix than I can handle.

8 thoughts on “The plumber, another poet, and the lumber guy.

  1. I really enjoyed this one, love the “men in the mix” analogy, as a man in his mid fifties, trying to keep the libido train moving how does John the poet do it, medication, supplements, enquiring minds want to know. -Al

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