Men who work with their hands.

I was fed up with the bullshit of recent events. It got so bad, my personal trainer, hearing a new disaster or story every week, asked me if I played the lottery because my luck was so bad with men it had to be good elsewhere.

So one recent night, bolstered with a bit of liquid courage, I said “fuck this shit”. If I really wanted someone in my life, I needed to seriously get back in the game. I had opened my Bumble profile a few weeks prior and it was lackluster so far – quite literally, nothing to write about.

I already had open profiles on Coffee Meets Bagel and the League, both which took about 5 minutes of effort each day to say whether I liked the one or two men they served up, and yielded absolutely nothing.Β 

I reactivated my profiles on OK Cupid (last guy I met there was HWSNBN), Tinder (hadn’t been on there since 2015), and Plenty of Fish (my choice last summer when I met Jack), but the source of Tony and Fox.


Within two days I remembered how difficult it was when I first started dating and forgot names and information. It’s impossible to talk to that many people. If someone doesn’t make a strong impression, they are lost in the shuffle.

If I move someone from a site to text, I add them as a contact in my burner app with the platform I met them on (Kris (Tinder)), screenshot their profile picture and handle, and put it in their contact card. Otherwise how do I remember which one is Chris, Kris, or Christopher.

One guy already has said I’m obviously not interested because I didn’t initiate conversations. Several never got past “hey how is your day”. Of course, there are the men who swipe right, answer or send the first text message, then say nothing else. Whatevs.

A 58 year-old opened with “can I see you naked please and thank you.” Another guy forgot which Ann he’d moved to text with, and tried to have simultaneous conversations with me on the dating site and via text.

The hilarity knows no bounds.

Work has also exploded, so it’s been a double whammy. I’ve had zero time to text during the day between meetings. No time to meet after work. My child-free evenings are spent with my laptop. So I have a bunch of men I can’t make time for. I guess it’s one way to weed out those who aren’t keen, because I’m sure I’m testing their patience.


I’m working through the list. Anyone who has online dated knows that you can go from having four potential dates one day and the next, none. It’s how it all happens. A guy went from being super keen to deactivating his profile. People flake out, conversations fizzle, or you meet for a pre-clearance date and there’s no chemistry.


But. The universe keeps sending me men who work with their hands. Bruce was one. There’s also been the plumber with piercing blue eyes who I talked sex with over a drink; we are talking about a second date. The landscaper who is not my soul mate but who’s been responsive and kept me laughing over nachos. The high-end carpenter who I am trying to not get my hopes up about, after our first phone call lasted 2.5 hours. Fingers crossed our date on Wednesday goes through and he’s as great in person as our few phone calls have been.

Men who work with their hands. Gotta love it.


10 thoughts on “Men who work with their hands.

  1. I love your blog and look forward to reading it. I gather your job is a high stress one with a lot of meetings and travel. I have friends and users (I’m an IT guy) who confide in me how hard it is to date or find that one connection. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Have a great week.

    • I’m so sorry I never replied to your comment! Yes, work is pretty high stress, but I love it. And you’re right, it’s really hard to find a great connection with someone who is also ready for a relationship. Thank you for continuing to read πŸ™‚

  2. Oh I hear you!! I’m on Match, tinder, Bumble & ok Cupid, & POF( I’ve never heard of League) …. & for potential fun- AFF, SLS & SDC.
    My problem is my hours with work. It’s difficult to plan Anything. But like you say, when it rains it pours.
    It’s very frustrating and discouraging. I’ve had So many One hit wonder dates – no seconds. I don’t get it.
    I’m Leary of the swinging sights only because I Know I Want a relationship— and I have walked away feeling empty after time spent with people in those sights. But then I just want some mind blowing sex- so my curiosity gets the best of me. I’m also very afraid of STD’s so Thsts always in the back of my mind — it’s like a game in my head – exciting to meet up with people from those sights but it’s not All that I want – just a segment. I look forward to hearing about your dates! Love your blog!!

    • I’m sorry I never replied to your comment! I can plan but between work and having my son every other week, it’s pretty busy. I hear you on the challenge of wanting great sex… I don’t spend time on the hookup / swingers sites anymore because I find it’s too difficult to weed through people. And sometimes men will find me and send me a note, and then I will always reply if they seem like a good potential fit.

  3. “Can I see you naked please and thank you.” How polite! πŸ˜‚. I don’t mean to derail the thread from the topic, but that gave me a chuckle. I love reading these kinds of messages from men either to my wife or female friends. My favorite one was when a guy pestered my wife every day for a month with a one-sided conversation. “How are you today? Oh, not going to answer huh? Hey. How’s it going. You’re very attractive. Hey, what’s up?i love BBWs. I’m gonna go look at some bbw porn right now.” And so on. It went on for so long that it became fascinating. One day, on thanksgiving, he asked what her favorite kind of pie was. I suggested she break her silence with a one word reply: “pumpkin.” She did and he was over the moon, like he’d finally broken through. πŸ˜‚

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