No, you’re not going crazy.

Edit: I removed the ability to make comments on this post. Given what was being said, it’s the kind of commentary I didn’t want my friend to have to read – one reason I didn’t post the whole story in the first place. I was angry, but I’ve moved past it. Life is too short and friendships are too valuable. I know you’ll understand.


Some of you may have seen a notification of a post called “Well that was a bad idea.” You’re not crazy. But it was published and taken down within a matter of minutes. It was a mistake.

It doesn’t happen often that I elect to take down posts – in fact, only twice in the history of my blog. When I was breaking up with fellow blogger Johnny Id I steadfastly refused to do anything but post it all here. We met as bloggers, he knew I wrote about everything, and I prioritized my need to keep this space as my own, with my truth, over keeping it private between us.  It was divisive and ugly.

There’s a difference between knowing the truth and seeing it shared publicly.

However, the story of Ali / Sevag / HWSNBN was removed because I was quite literally being threatened. My personal safety was in question and as much as I wanted to keep the story up, it wasn’t worth the risk.

This time, the thing that is a risk is a friendship, and ultimately, as much as I wrote a post that I think is balanced and fair, and is from my perspective, there’s a friend on the other end.

So what the fuck happened,? I met that guy for a coffee date. It was amazing: the aftermath wasn’t. Turns out I shouldn’t go on dates where there are blurred lines between the guy and one of my friends. I should have known better. So it’s done with him.


3 thoughts on “No, you’re not going crazy.

  1. Wow- I saw that the other day and wondered what happened. I would say your friend screwed up-Not You.
    She should never had even Suggested you meet this this guy. I’m sorry this happened to you.

  2. “What do you think?” Asks the prompt on the page. Here’s what I think:
    I think it’s wrong to have/exert so much power in two other people’s lives.
    I think it’s wrong to say YES and then take it back.
    I think it’s wrong for an adult to punish a good friend because they weren’t chosen.
    I think it’s wrong to say it bothers you after the dice were tossed.
    I think the sacrifice of two people ain’t gonna mean shit because your friendship is never going to be the same.
    I think she will forever now be in competition with you.
    I think you’re a better person than me because I wouldn’t let anyone change the boundaries after a pact.
    I think the whole thing stinks to the high Heavens.
    I think I need a drink👹 this pissed me off.
    Ann, you are not at faultXO. He was no one to her. She was no one to him– ultimately that was the problem. She took his rejection out on you. (This is what I’m gathering by the few details there are).
    I wonder if he’s annoyed that a third party essentially made the decision for him for not to see you again.

  3. Yes, I suppose we cannot know the full story, yet I have to agree with Sophia based on the little we did know. I wondered how that would go when you first introduced the story to us… there being a friend involved and very clearly (from an outsider’s p.o.v.) blurred lines. It sounds as if she wasn’t being totally honest – whether with you or with herself. What was she thinking to introduce you if she couldn’t be honest with herself? Just my opinion. I’m sorry it turned out negatively. I hope you and your friend can grow past this.

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