Shortly after my split, I got a tattoo to remind me to live a life of no regrets. It’s highly visible and I’ve used it at times to help make that “oh just go for it” decision. My decisions are all mine now; I don’t want to look back years from now and think “if only…”, especially when it comes to a pickup.
You know those moments where you see someone who sends electric shocks through your body, yet you let them pass by without a word spoken? I remember every time it happened to me, and decided I’d do my best to never let it happen again. I don’t want to have “missed connections” anymore.
It’s was that attitude that had me kissing a stunningly beautiful police officer who’d pulled me over for speeding (it’s still one of my favorite stories on the blog).
And it’s that attitude that recently stopped our public transit system.
I was at the end of the train, coming home from work. The operator momentarily popped out and he caught my eye – a tall, large, handsome dark-skinned man. When he turned to go back in our eyes locked. I smiled, he smiled back.
“Nice,” I thought, and went back to whatever I was reading.
When I got off at my stop, there he was, leaning out the cab. I smiled at him and he said “Hey!”
I walked over. “Hi,” I said.
“You look familiar, what’s your name?”
“Ann. What’s yours?”
“Lane. What a beautiful smile you have.”
Laughing, I said “thank you. I was going to hit on you but I didn’t want to delay the train.”
“Oh really? No worries, that’s okay. It can wait.”
I looked down the platform. It had emptied and I was keenly aware we were the cause of the delay. It made me feel giddy.
“What’s your number?” he asked.
I don’t know my burner app number. “Give me yours and I will text you.”
I captured Lane’s number in my phone and sauntered away. He got the train going.
Thinking of Bruce, I immediately felt guilty. My friends reminded me Bruce wasn’t exactly knocking down my door and he had no hold over me.
Lane and I exchanged a couple of text messages over the next day. He called me “princess” (I had to resist retorting I was no princess) and told me I made his day. It felt nice.
I knew nothing about him other than where he worked. I asked a couple of questions and gave him a short rundown about me – divorced with a son I have every other week and a couple other key facts. I asked, “what about you?”
He said he was just going to work and would reply shortly.
I didn’t hear back.
After a few days, I figured he was gone for good. Maybe married or in a relationship or just not interested in a divorced Mom. Who knows. For laughs I texted “did you get lost?” And then deleted our text history. Oh well.
Not an hour after I received the “can’t do it” text from Bruce, Lane sent a text message: “My apologies I was out of town.”
A couple of text messages later I asked him about him. He said “Tall dark n handsome, lol. Single, one daughter, like all sports playing n watching, like to travel.” He has his daughter every Sunday. He called me shortly after and we had a brief conversation. He’s been split since November.
When I said “oh that’s not very long” he snorted and said it felt plenty long to him. He’s from Jamaica, he’s worked for the transit company for a long time, and works Monday-Friday from early afternoon to late at night. He asked if we could meet for a coffee at some point and I said sure – I mean, I don’t think from our conversation he’s a soul mate, but I have nothing to lose but an hour.
Seize the moment and all that.