I’m back, with a few things to report.

I’m back from my 2.5 week vacation with Liam. It was a lot of fun, although my wallet was stolen by pickpocketers in Madrid which really sucked. I didn’t feel a thing and they got it out of a purse. Such is life.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been off for more than two weeks. It was a great break. I didn’t think about work (much), and I was able to get the hurt of Jack out of my system – which I didn’t really try to do but just realized one day I hadn’t been thinking about him. Perfect.

BruceΒ and I were in regular contact. We texted consistently and spoke on the phone (thanks to WhatsApp) almost every day. It was a lot for someone I’d only seen twice before. But while it’s not my preference to go on a few dates with someone then not see them for over three weeks, there are benefits.

I learned more about him than I may have if we were going out and spending lots of time between the sheets. The phone conversations were easy and about all kinds of things. Bruce likes to talk, but he also listens. He’s loud (literally), a sarcastic smart ass, and swears a lot. He’s also a devoted father and inherently kind.

I’m definitely not bored. Any time I brought up a topic (new research on the impact of screen time on children, or an interesting tidbit on a major WWII battle), he was able to talk about it intelligently. I like that.

We have things in common (a love of all kinds of music, movies, the outdoors, sports, a curiosity about the world, parenting approaches, and general attitudes about the world), and things that are very different (he works with his hands, has chosen to have limited responsibility at work, lives in a small town outside the city, and I’m not sure he owns a suit). But nothing so far that has me too worried.

Most importantly, I haven’t seen any red flags when it comes to Bruce’s history, attitudes, or behaviors. He told me in the first couple of weeks that I was his first, first date, and he hadn’t asked a woman out in ages. He implied he hadn’t had sex, either. I had a hard time believing it could be true – Bruce is tall, handsome, and muscular, and doesn’t seem to be a wallflower.

I now believe him. In the last few weeks, he’s been consistent in what he says. He told me he had no sex the last couple of years of his marriage and none since. When I said I found it hard to believe he didn’t make use of his single status the last two years, he said he didn’t know how to meet women, wasn’t good at reading signals of interest, and he was shy and awkward. He added that he wasn’t ready until he joined POF just before we met.

I did pick up on the awkwardness on our first date: it was masked by a lot of talking. And what he says rings true based on what I’ve observed.

Of course, I’m anxious that there are similarities between him and Tony. Both were separated, not divorced. Both do things with their children and their ex-wives. I was the first woman both of them went on a date with. I met them both on POF.

But every time that worry crops up, I tell myself this: Bruce is not Tony. Bruce has taken two years to get his shit sorted (Tony took 6 months). Bruce has been very explicit that his relationship with his ex-wife is over. I have no reason to think that Bruce will be reluctant to integrate me into his life if/when the time is right.

Now I just need to figure out how to wrangle our schedules so we can see each other. I really want to experience his physical magic again. I’ve had enough talking πŸ™‚

14 thoughts on “I’m back, with a few things to report.

  1. I think this guy is really similar to Tony. It seems like separated guys rarely settle down with the transition woman. I just got out of this situation and they feel ready at the time but they still have a lot of healing to do. Not saying don’t go for it but I would keep my options open.

    • He seems nothing like Tony in how healed he is, the choices he’s made, and how he describes his relationship with his ex. But I’m definitely keeping an eye out for any sign that I may be a “transition” partner, as you say/

      • Oh definitely, I just meant the circumstances were similar. My guy had been separated almost two years and he freaked out at 7 months. His ex was a crazy alcoholic though, made things difficult. Every situation is different. I have just vowed to never date a separated guy again. He wanted to get back together, then he wasn’t sure…the main lesson I’ve learned is that men in transition have no idea what they want. If you’re going to keep dating Bruce, just keep that in mind.

  2. Welcome back Ann! I’m going to chime in and give Bruce the benefit of the doubt and say that he is healed and is ready for a relationship.
    He sounds great!

  3. Talk is cheap, I suppose.
    But at least talking has helped you make up your mind about this new beau.
    Have fun – when you finally get back to this guy, that is!

What do you think?