Bruce evaporated Friday night. His radio silence was highly unusual. I’ve tried to recreate the mental paths I went down during this time, so my actions are contextualized. My Mom and my friends generally concurred with my analysis and helped me figure out what to do. One friend was convinced he’d ghosted or was lying about being single, but she was the exception. I promised myself if either of those were true, I would take a real break from dating. I was 90% sure he’d lost his phone, but that remaining 10% thought something serious had happened.
Hmm that’s weird he hasn’t texted me yet. He said he was going to sleep early, so not replying last night is feasible. But he always sends good morning texts.
Let me check Whatsapp.
Oh, he hasn’t been online there since last night 6:20pm. Guess he did crash early.
Still nothing? Okay that’s weird. He said he would call me in the morning. He has no issue calling me when his kids are around.
Gosh could they still be sleeping? Should I call?
No, Ann, don’t be silly. You talked to him three times yesterday. Bruce is with his children and probably just busy.
Send a brief text, that will work. “Good morning! All good?” That’s okay. Easy.
He hasn’t replied. What the heck? He still hasn’t been active on Whatsapp. I wonder if everything is okay.
Don’t check your phone Ann. Focus on your birthday lunch. Turn it off so you don’t wonder every time it pings.
Hmm maybe will just sneak a peak. Still nothing? What the fuck.
This feels silly but search car accidents. Nope, nothing. Maybe he left his phone when he picked up his kids and the center is closed for the long weekend?
But why hasn’t he called me on another phone? Hmm. I don’t know his mobile number so if I lost my phone I couldn’t call him. I have an unlisted number so he’d have no way to reach me. We haven’t exchanged email addresses either.
How can I get him my number? Could I call his house? Let me look up his home phone.
Oh, that’s weird. There’s just one listing with that last name in his town, and it’s in his ex’s name.
Not possible. He can’t be married still. Could he be?
No. He’s talked to me so often, not just during the day. He’s called with his kids in the car and in the same room. I mean, maybe he’s that level of lying sack of shit but I just can’t see it. He’s not that guy. And if he is? Well then he’s a liar the likes of which I’ve never experienced.
Could he be ghosting me? Maybe freaked out and just done?
No. It simply doesn’t make any sense. Our last phone conversation was fun and sweet and we talked about plans and that he would call. And why would he talk to me so much when I was away, invest all that time talking on the phone, just to disappear? Maybe he met someone else?
Jesus, Ann don’t be ridiculous.
Then why hasn’t he called?
He’s lost his phone and gone away. Or left it at the Center and can’t get access. He’s got two children all weekend and is busy. He likely doesn’t have a home computer to go onto Plenty of Fish and send a message. If he’s with his friends maybe it didn’t even occur to him that he could use their phone to go to the web version.
Ann, it probably hasn’t occurred to him that you are really worried and anxious about what has happened to him or why he’s not been in touch. He’s new to this.
Whatsapp “last active” hasn’t changed. Weird.
Screw all this worry. I will just call his home number. Am I sure it’s his house? Let me look again. Yes… he mentioned that landmark at the end of his street. She’s the one that moved out so he probably never bothered updating the listing. My ex never did until he moved out three years later. Fucking dudes.
Maybe I will just block my number then call him at his home. If she answers, and he’s actually been lying, then fuck him.
Okay. Deep breath. Ringing now.
Wait – what the fuck? It’s her voice… “hi you’ve reached…” omg all of their names? HANG UP!!
Okay. Breathe. What the hell. Is it possible he hasn’t updated the goddamn answering machine message? Yeah. Knowing what I know of him? Maybe. It’s odd, but not outside the realm of possibility.
Just watch the rest of the movie, then go to sleep and I’m sure you’ll hear from him soon.
Sweet fuck why am I awake!?
POF deletes messages after 30 days, that’s why he hasn’t called, because your text history is gone! Just log into POF and leave him a message with your number. “Hey Bruce not sure what’s up, figure you may have lost your phone and since I have an unlisted number, here’s my mobile again for you.”
Still nothing? Whatsapp still unchanged? Okay, just try the home number again. Maybe because you blocked your number he doesn’t recognize it. Surely if you’d lost your mobile phone you’d answer your home phone no matter what, but who knows.
Try his mobile again. Same thing. No answer.
Damn. Could he have gone away for the weekend without his phone? Not very likely. But if he left it at the Center and got a last minute invitation, its possible.
If something happened to him, and his phone was lying beside his hospital bed, wouldn’t someone answer one of his fucking phones?
Try to focus on something else.
Rest of Sunday
Repeat all of those thoughts in rotation. Try his mobile once more, and the home number before bed. Same: no answer.
7am – 6:50pm Monday
Repeat. Check in with the same girlfriends and your Mom to discuss likely scenarios. Try his mobile and home number in the morning.
Okay Ann, this is ridiculous. If he has call tracking you look like a crazy person, calling a couple of times of times each day. Are you a crazy person? No! Just worried something may have happened to him. In your gut you know he’s not ghosting and he’s not still married.
You have nothing to worry about. Just leave him a voicemail with your number and then you know when he gets home he has it. And then the sooner you can rule out the worry that something serious has happened to him.
“Hey Bruce, It’s Ann. Hope you’re okay. Call me when you can? My number is…”
A text? Who from?! Oh yay it’s him!!
Let me read:
“Hey. Found my phone, deep in my couch. Now I’m currently listening to my ex yell at me about a woman calling her house. I will call you soon. Sorry, lost my phone on Friday night. It was on silent.”