You can train for Axe, but not for kindness.

Life has been a little hectic the last few weeks. Not just with sex parties and disappointment, but also time with friends and some additional work responsibilities that have made my days far more intense.

I didn’t want to get too behind on writing so I put up two posts about Ray, the one who reached out on FetLife and with whom I had an unconventional but nice first date.

Some of you may have noticed I didn’t talk much about Ray; just how things went down with us. It was deliberate but only so I could get through the date itself. He’s an interesting guy and is yet another man who makes me think through what I want, versus what I actually need, and how the two intersect.

Ray is in his mid-forties, has never been married and has no kids. He was engaged, however, and his fiancé broke it off. They’d been together for a decade – I’m not sure why it took them that long to get engaged or why they had such a long engagement, but that’s for another day. Point being, someone put up with him for a long period of time, which is essentially what I’m looking for.

He lives with his brother. After the breakdown of his relationship, his brother moved in with him.

He works in a family business he started with his father after high school. He intended to work there for a summer, but never left. He was supposed to go to College to play sports but due to some family issues he stayed. 

He lives very close to where he works.

He has a car but no cell phone. Yes, you read that right. He has a tablet he uses to text so I didn’t even notice. He said he likes to be different and he hates how people always have their faces in their phone. He has wifi at work and home so he says he doesn’t need a phone. I’m all for people not being tied to technology but given all the benefits of a smartphone I’m admittedly perplexed.

Despite only having a high school education he is well-read, self-taught, and able to talk about a number of different topics. He’s read way more business books than I. It’s attractive.

He doesn’t seem to have any friends. He says he lost them when he and his fiancé broke up. He works a lot, and when he’s not working, is at home with his brother. So no real hobbies or outside-of-work activities either.

He wears Axe body spray. And apologies if any of you wear it, but that stuff is an assault on the senses. He joked that it was called “dark temptation” and in the commercial men who wear it are irresistible. But he asked if it contributed to my migraine and should he stop wearing it, and I took him up on his offer.

He is kind and thoughtful, a nice change from the crappy ending with Jack. He’s communicative, despite relying on wifi. He’s complimentary about the things he likes about me, and he’s affectionately touchy when we are together.

He’s looking for a committed relationship. He also really gets off on sharing his partner with other men at the same time. It’s appealing to me for obvious reasons. Our mental and physical chemistry isn’t mind blowing but it’s good.

My concern is that his world may be a little small for me. I am loathe to be with someone who doesn’t have enough of their own life. It’s never worked well for me. And I like people who have a variety of interests. But his interest and kindness (and his kinks) are appealing, so it’s definitely worth continuing to pursue with him.

16 thoughts on “You can train for Axe, but not for kindness.

  1. Bah! Axe body spray is fine! I don’t use it often (I do mostly use Axe body-wash and deodorant), but the first time I did use it, when I went to see a female friend perform at a club, she told me I smelled good when we hugged.

    He may be just using too much. One quick spray under each armpit (not too close), and then sometimes I’ll add an “X” across the chest That should be enough..

  2. Nothing worse than an overpowering scent on either sex. Glad to hear that you’ve met a decent man. Though he may have a simple life, he just may make up for that in spades in other departments. Sounds like you two are compatible in a lot of good ways too.

  3. I imagine you could broaden his horizons. I think men are far more sensitive than everyone wants to admit. Breakups really affect them in in many myriad ways. Sounds as if he’s ready to be out and about again.

What do you think?