After kissing him goodbye at my front door at the end of our epic first dinner date, I floated up the stairs and texted him to say thank you for the amazing night. I also gave him my real mobile number so we could get off the sluggish burner app.
He replied with a simple “good night, text you there tomorrow”.
The next morning, the other man I’d agreed to meet from POF cancelled our date. He too is moving houses and he said while he wasn’t normally this flighty, he really needed more time to deal with the house and his children. It was fine by me, I was exhausted.
As promised, Jack texted. He asked how I slept then remembered I was supposed to be at brunch (I didn’t tell him who with) and I replied that it was blissfully cancelled and asked him how he was doing. He didn’t reply.
We had exchanged last names so I did a bit of due diligence like I always do. I started with LinkedIn. Minutes after I looked at his profile I received a text from him: “Stop LinkedIn stalking me. Just joking. I’m tired today but certainly smiling.”
I told him it was standard dating practice for me to check people out. He said “Are you interested in seeing me again?” to which I replied “1000%. You?”
He said “of course I am. You kiss too well”.
We talked about our schedule and I mentioned that the weeks I have Liam, I can only do visits after he goes to sleep. As a parent, Jack completely understood. He said it seemed pretty normal for people in our situation.
One of his parents is in the hospital, and he’s moving out of the house he and his ex-girlfriend of five years shared, so he has a lot going on. When I said that he seemed to have enough going on with all of that, he replied “and you. Yes, you are a priority as well.”
It was really nice to hear and I told him I was impressed. Then:
But Ann, there is something concerning me.
I don’t think you orgasmed last night.
I was close a couple of times but yes, that’s correct.
How selfish of me.
I felt amazing for hours. So I was hardly suffering.
Next time, tell me not to stop this or that. I will take some instruction well. Yes, I said some.
Well, ironically I felt pretty selfish because I let you do lots of things to me.
I told you, I prefer the control. I forgot how sensual I am. Won’t always be that way but it was an incredible re-awakening for me.
Won’t always be what way? And I’m sincerely honored to have been a part of that reawakening.
Meaning sometimes it will be more raw. Just me taking you.
I’m cool with all that. I have those sides to me and want a partner who is the same. I hope you see the same things in me.
I see many things in you.
Beauty, intelligence, sex appeal, artistry, culture, creativity, warmth, passion. I’m going to stop since I don’t want to feed your ego too much.
Wow, I thought. I think he likes me.
I told him how much I enjoyed our conversation at dinner and that it had been a long time since I’d had that kind of connection with someone. He agreed and said similar things. And our conversation ended.
Later that night (still the day after our date) I texted to say I hoped his hospital visit had gone well and that I was crashing. I heard nothing back.
I knew he was at the hospital but as anyone who reads my blog knows, I think replying to a text is a courtesy that isn’t very difficult to extend, no matter what. Everybody walks to the bathroom (yes, I know lots of people who use their phone in the bathroom too) and lays down to go to sleep.
It wasn’t so much an issue for me, but I had to remind myself despite our connection and the wonderful things he’d said to me, it was only two dates and we really hadn’t established any kind of communication pattern.
The next morning around 9am he texted “Good morning. Have a great day. Talk later.”
It’s funny how different communications styles can be. Leo would send (literal) hearts and flowers in memes. But that text from Jack told me he cared enough to not leave my prior nights text hanging, but he wasn’t going to get into a morning conversation. No problem. We had a few exchanges and then he asked if I “would be interested in a post 9pm visit”. I said yes, it would be awesome. He replied “in general, it’s okay to ask me if you want to see me. I appreciate your desire, and it turns me on.”
Okay then. I liked that.
Inspired by my stalking him on LinkedIn, we talked about the pitfalls of social media and dating and when to friend / unfriend someone. I told him I’d published some dating stories in one of our local newspapers. He asked whether I’d written about “this guy who rico suaved you into bed this weekend”. I liked his humor. He said I could write about him as long as I didn’t use his name.
And yes, of course I thought about the blog and the challenge of when to tell someone I’m dating about it.
He later told me he was only interested in dating one woman, and that woman was me.
He asked if he could bring me something when he came by. I told him “just your handsome self” but said I didn’t have any beer if that’s what he wanted to drink. He offered to bring a bottle of prosecco, and I said “it is unnecessary but lovely”.
I was very much looking forward to seeing him later that night.