Intellectual, emotional, and physical chemistry

A dinner date for my history book.

I’m going to preface this post by saying I know 100% that there is no way to know if something is going to work out, after two dates. I know this right to my core.  I can quickly assess intellectual and physical chemistry, but the emotional / behavioral can kill a relationship.

I’ve sacrificed some intellectual and physical chemistry for the sake of strong emotional chemistry, and ultimately that doesn’t work. I’ve found incredible intellectual and physical, just to later experience an emotional mismatch.

But Jack has the potential for all three. I’m over the moon at the moment and am determined to enjoy it.

The coffee date was amazing and we set a dinner date for 4 days later. We texted each of those four days, not excessively, just a few brief conversations here and there. The only exception was Friday, when I was home recovering from a migraine and he wasn’t focused on work. There was more banter and flirtatiousness which had me very excited for our date.

I had a few moments of doubt in the 24 hours before our date, having seen him online on Plenty of Fish (we are both paid users so can see when users are online and when they last checked out your profile) that Friday night about 30 minutes before I sent him a text, to which he didn’t respond. This past week, I have only been on the site when someone sends me a message.

I reminded myself he very well may be on a date, which was completely his prerogative and I was doing the same later that weekend. But when he also didn’t reply the next morning, I started to worry something had changed.  I sent a follow-up to confirm the time he was picking me up, saying “sorry to text again but can you let me know what time you were thinking you’d pick me up tonight?”

He replied: “Hi there, don’t be sorry. I thought I said 8 but perhaps I didn’t. Looking forward to spending the evening with you. Actually waiting with eager anticipation.”

I replied that we had said 8pm but then joked about him showing up earlier so we could kiss. I said 8 was fine but I was also free earlier. That was 11:45am and I heard nothing back.

I told myself not to worry and to just plan for 8. At 7:30, standing naked in my bathroom post-shower, I heard the ping of my phone and saw “on the way.” Not 15 minutes later he called to ask if I was getting ready or already ready, and told me he was 30 seconds away. I explained I wasn’t going to greet him at the door in my current state on a first date, and asked him to give me 2 minutes.

I pulled on a go-to date dress, a black cotton halter neck with a white embroidered pattern. I don’t need to wear a bra with it. I grabbed the purse on my bed and my flattest black shoes, left them in my hallway and went to greet him at my front door. My entranceway is small so I let him in and we maneuvered to shut the door. Since we are the same height I wasn’t going to back up to stand on my stair. We were close to each other we said hello, and a moment later he leaned in to kiss me.

There are first kisses, and then there are first kisses. This was the latter. Our lips touched and we both paused to savor the sensation. My breath caught as he put one hand on my waist and the other on my arm, pulling me into him. We kissed in perfect harmony, starting slow and soft, then with more pressure, mixing it up and exploring with tongues (but not too much…all in good time, people).

He buried his mouth in the spot behind my ear and I could hear his heavy breathing as he kissed my neck. I could feel his excitement through his jeans and the strength in his arms.

After minutes, we pulled apart. I may have said “ohhhhh wow”. I will deny it, but I giggled in excitement.

He’d told me earlier that week he hadn’t had a good kiss in almost 4 years. I said I hoped our kiss broke that bad track record and he replied it certainly had.

I could barely focus. I walked into my kitchen for no good reason, and walked back out. We kissed again. He looked around my main floor and we talked about a few things which caught his eye – the bookshelf with my travel books (“Ann, have you been to all of these places?”) and the gramophone my Father just gave me, along with huge books of 78’s (“Wow, that is pretty cool… did you replace the needle?”).

We kissed again and pulled apart, breathless. He said “okay we really do need to go or else we won’t get out of here at all.” It was exactly what I was thinking. The impulsive part of me wanted to keep going with the physical, but I knew it was more important to suss out how our intellects matched, over dinner.

I gathered my things and we walked down the path to his car, where he unlocked my car door and opened it for me.

Goodness…a gentleman as well? I was positively giddy as we pulled away from my house to drive to the restaurant.


Yes, this is just part one. Please don’t scold me for the cliffhanger… I have work I must do now and can’t make this post 2,000 words 🙂

Image from the 1940 movie “The Philadelphia Story”

13 thoughts on “A dinner date for my history book.

  1. No scolding from me(this time). Seems like the perfect place to pause. Note I said PAUSE!! You have given us just enough to get us(me) hopeful with the possibilities.😇 now I’m back to. Cutting my daughter’s grass!!😟

  2. Sounds like the physical chemistry is definitely there too Ann. 🙂 Can’t wait to hear about how the rest of the date went.

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