a real dating fail

I knew better. Or did I?

Well, he lasted 5 days. I knew it was unlikely he would suddenly change his behavior, but I did have hope there would continue to be progress. After all, he said our date last week that he wanted to see more of me, and that he’d try to be more communicative. But yet, another dating fail.

But really, what kind of person says that, and hears someone say “look I get that you’re busy but all I’m asking for right now is that you don’t ignore my texts, and just 5 days later does exactly that?

I know how this will play out if I bothered to call him out on it:

  • Hey, Kyle, you shouldn’t ignore my texts. WTF.
  • Yeah but I wasn’t feeling well, which I told you on Friday.
  • Come on. It takes 10 seconds to send a text, and since you were on social media you clearly had time for other things.
  • [crickets]

So there’s not really much point in going through all of that again, is there?

I had followed him again on Instagram, thinking it was a laurel branch. He didn’t follow me back (game playing, perhaps?), but then over the last several days, followed several other women. Perhaps clients, perhaps just women he thought were hot. Still.

But fine, whatever. Then of course he would show up in my “following” feed and I reached my tipping point when I saw a few times over the last few days, he was active there. Liking the usual women’s selfies and men’s travel pictures.

While I completely understand people may sometimes want to just scroll mindlessly through social media, it’s different when someone you are theoretically interested in is waiting for a text back and you can’t be fucking bothered.

So I unfollowed him. I know he will notice, and he’ll know I’m pissed, he will retreat even further (not that it’s possible), and I don’t particularly care. It’s bullshit, and it’s not the first time.

I knew it would happen, but still hoped it wouldn’t.


And yes, although Kyle is a very tall man, to me he’s lacking in empathy and respect which makes him very small indeed – hence the new picture.

22 thoughts on “I knew better. Or did I?

    • Yup, exactly. I sooooo wished he could just keep up being responsive. I wasn’t pushing for proactive. But to go (now) 3 days with no response, when all he needed to say was “hey still not feeling better, I’m sorry”… NO WAY. He’s here all this week and I would bet a huge amount of money I won’t hear from him at all.
      There are so many things wrong when someone can’t extend that basic courtesy. And whatever he might have thought before (she’ll shit all over me, etc), there’s no reason for that now. I’ve been super nice even in the face of dickish behavior.

      • Oops, I accidentally pressed send!

        I don’t understand not texting back. If a man is interested, he should be responsive and make contact one of his first priorities, right?! πŸ˜‘ I don’t get it.

        • Exactly. Either he’s bullshitting about being interested (which I doubt, because he’s proven he will just ignore someone easily), or he’s completely incapable of doing anything about it. I have made it extremely easy for him and he’s still failing.

          • Yeah, you’re not a cactus! You need some care and maintenance…not total neglect.

            It’s rude and lazy, especially because you already told him what you need and he can’t even bother.

  1. Damn!😬 I was so pulling for you.😟
    May Kyle’s karma account be forever overdrawn!😑
    As for you, it’s time to transfer some of your karma from savings to checking,πŸ˜‡ and continue shopping for your HAPPILY EVER AFTER!😍❀️

    He’s out there,🌎and if he’s lucky he’ll find you….

  2. Ann I’ve followed you for a couple of years. You always make excuses for guys that don’t text don’t keep in touch. If they are really interested they would. It takes seconds to send a text. Yes we are all busy. Just excuses. Move on.

  3. Yes, that is unacceptable behavior. While I have said before, and still maintain, that sometimes people place too much importance on texting, you are correct in the relative ease it takes to reply. Thus, there is no excuse not to do so in a timely fashion.

    Oh well, HIS loss.

    • Thanks JR. I know in the past I wanted (and provides) far more texting exchanges, but am now far more reasonable about both. But yeah, in this situation there’s no excuse to not even bother to cancel πŸ™

  4. I’m sorry Ann, I know u saw him as someone with a lot of potential. You deserve better. I say delete his number and put him out of your mind. It isn’t like you don’t have loads of options.

  5. I once met a man who checked all the boxes…he was great at responding but wasn’t proactive with contact. He eventually admitted that he wasn’t interested in a relationship with anyone and that if sex fell in his lap he would take it but that he didn’t want to work for it. He had a busy work life and travelled for pleasure a lot. I knew that if I was intimate with him he would go for it but that it would always be me putting in the effort…no thank you!

    I think that when a guy is really into someone they put in the effort….and it doesn’t feel like effort. If a person is interested enough they communicate. Kyle makes me think of the book “He’s just not that into you”. Time to move on from this one.

What do you think?